Ellen: Beautiful blonde, but maybe a bit of baggage (Rewind)

Background: She contacted me on Match with an email sounding like she was interested in me but that because of my job and her job, there might be a conflict of interest to where she wouldn’t be able to date me. I responded back clarifying the issues and it actually started a line of communication that opened us up to a potential date. There were lots of things she wanted us to do together; karaoke, go to the gun range, go horseback riding together, etc. So we decided on meeting for lunch one afternoon while she was traveling about town for her job. She was a financial consultant who worked from home, so her car was basically her office.

The only potential red flag to this point was the stalker behavior of her ex-fiance. While we were emailing, texting and talking, there were several instances where he would stalk her at Wal-Mart, or mess with her animals while she was away from the house. She has a ranch with horses and other farm animals. Yes, she’s quite country. The kind of girl who likes pickup trucks over regular cars. I tried not to let that all get in the way because everyone has issues, a little drama, and things they can’t control in their life.

The Date: We met for lunch on a Wednesday at a popular italian restaurant chain. There was a car accident two blocks from the restaurant, so my normal practice of being the first one there was thwarted. So when I arrived she was sitting in the lobby finishing up some work while she waited. She was absolutely beautiful. Natural curly blonde hair, fit but not muscular, about 5’10” in heels wearing a short, sleeveless dress. She big round eyes and large, teeth-bearing smile. Very attractive.

Since she was clearly attractive and looked even better than her profile pictures, I was definitely interested and went for the introductory hug. I don’t shake hands with a girl on a date, that just seems so cold and impersonal. She did not display any hesitation or recoil during the hug and actually seemed to reciprocate. She had an excellent ice breaker that really seemed to ease any nerves that were lingering. After the hug, the fist thing she said was “Wow, you’re short!” Considering I am well over 6-feet tall, that surely wasn’t the case. I feigned being wounded by the comment to play along, and it definitely got us both laughing.

The conversation went well during the meal, with plenty of laughs and no awkward moments. We covered the basics, sharing a bit about our pasts and kids, and such. Her husband was killed in a car accident before her 7-year-old son was born, and later she got engaged to another guy and they bought a house together. Things fell apart and she kicked him out, keeping the ranch house. But the ranch is a bit much for a single mom to manage alone, so she has lots of random help stopping by to assist. This wouldn’t be any sort of issue, except apparently it’s nothing but locals offering to help to get into her house and ask for dates. She claimed it really bugged her sometimes, but I got the sense she really liked all the attention.

We had a hard end-time for the date because she had to leave to make appointments with other clients. As we walked out, she commented on how good I smelled (which is normally a pretty good sign). I walked her to her car and we exchanged another hug goodbye. I didn’t attempt a kiss because I really liked this girl and was a bit nervous about messing it up with a possibly unwanted advance on the first date. We also made (tentative) plans for another date on Saturday, and she was going to find a babysitter for her son. She left for her appointments and everything seemed to be going well. I even got a nice text only minutes after she left.

Post date: Our conversations remained the same the rest of the week. No sign of any changes or anything. The only thing was that neither one of us mentioned the date on Saturday. I did not want to seem like I was pressing the issue, and was letting her handle it. However, on Friday, when I had not heard anything regarding plans for Saturday, I asked about them. That is when she just casually said she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.

The problem with that is I would have hoped for a little courtesy informing me of this at some point instead of waiting to the last-minute. Sure I could have brought up our Saturday plans earlier in the week, but something tells me that wouldn’t have made a difference. And when I asked about rescheduling, she was very non-committal about setting up another time. I started to get the distinct impression that she just made the date to avoid confrontation and had every intention to cancel. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.

We talked daily, like usual, for another few days before the conversation started to tail off. Then it was reduced to her returning simple replies to my texts. She would not initiate conversations and her responses were very short, direct responses and she never would ask me questions or get into full-fledged conversations. So I decided to stop communicating altogether to see her response. I’ve heard from her very very rarely. And it’s just a very vanilla “how are you doing?” type of thing that lasts about 4-6 texts before it’s over.

However, if a second chance ever presented itself, I’d definitely take it. She was a very sweet, smart, grounded and beautiful girl. How could I pass that up?

Grade: B+

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