Background: Daphne contact me via Match and after checking out her profile, I figured it couldn’t hurt to talk to her and see what happened. We seemed to have a lot of common interests and the email conversations went very well. But I would have to admit the clincher was her height. She was 5’11” and I’m a sucker for tall women. She was fairly attractive, but her height intrigued me enough to allow me to let something like that not influence me as much.
She was a huge baseball fan, which is always bonus points for me, and a hockey fan. We would chat and text through baseball games and the hockey playoffs talking about the games, as well as other miscellaneous things. The connection was good, but not overwhelming like some others have been. She was a nurse and worked out with a personal trainer three times a week. So, maybe my expectations were a little high. We decided to get to drinks one night at a local bar in our area.
The Date: I got to the bar about 5-10 minutes before she did and grabbed a table with a clear view of the front door, so I could see her when she came in and she would be able to find me easily. We were playfully texting as she was pulling in, and I said I had to confess that I wasn’t a tall guy, that I was actually short and balding. She didn’t buy it.
But my jaw dropped when she entered the bar. I recognized her face, barely, but she was not what her pictures led me to believe. I understood she was not a petite girl, especially since she was almost 6-feet tall. That was OK with me. But the girl who walked in was twice the size of any picture she had posted on her profile. She noticed me almost as soon as I noticed her. If she wouldn’t have, I might have considered sneaking out. I have never run out on a date before, but I really thought about it this time.
I had already ordered drinks, and they arrived just as she arrived at the table. We exchanged hellos, but no hugs or anything. I don’t know if she ever caught the look on my face when I first noticed her, and I really hope she didn’t. Apparently the thought of wondering how to deal with the situation made me rather nervous.
When I get nervous on a bad date, I talk and talk and talk. Maybe it is because I am hoping something bad comes out of my mouth that turns her off, maybe it is because I was to try to rush through all of the possible topics as fast as I can in the hope that the date might end sooner, or maybe I just would rather dominate the conversation and hope nothing meaningful is exchanged. We, or I should say I, talked about all sorts of random things and did a lot of people-watching and commenting on other people in the bar.
Her size never came up. I wanted to ask about her seeing a trainer three times a week because I wasn’t exactly sure what they accomplished, other than making her bigger. And overall I felt rather deceived. She looked nothing like her pictures, they were likely a few years old. And when that happens, I automatically feel a level of distrust because I feel like I have been lied to and manipulated just for a date.
When it finally came time for me to leave, because I had to go pick up my son, we exchanged a friendly hug goodbye after I walked her to her car. There was no kiss or any other physical contact. I am not sure if she sensed my lack of a connection with her, but I am pretty sure she figured out things didn’t go well.
Post date: After the date, I never heard from her again, nor did I try to contact her either. There was no connection, and I am usually more lenient about physical appearances, but this was just way too far outside my comfort zone. I know it may sound shallow and superficial, but we all know there must be a physical attraction and connection as well as the other connections. Plus, like I said, it really felt a bit dishonest that she represented herself with pictures that were obviously older, and stated she was tall and athletic and toned. I have a hard time getting over initial deceptions like that.