This looks familiar, have I been down this road before?

So, it’s been two weeks of dating Mona (closer to four weeks if you add all the time talking leading up to the first date). Things have been really good. Seen each other a few times, talk/chat dozens of times every day, all that good stuff.

I was supposed to have lunch with her today before I went out of town for the weekend with my son and brother, as well as some other friends, for our annual boys’ football weekend. The reasoning behind it was that I didn’t want two weeks to pass between seeing each other. She has her girls this weekend and has family plans as well. So I figured a little quick get together would be good.

But for some unknown reason, all morning I had this gut instinct that she was going to cancel. I have no idea why, but I did. I didn’t say anything to hear about it or doing anything to alter my normal Friday plan. I dropped my son off at school, read books to his class this morning, and then came home to clean up the house before getting ready to go to lunch.

She was wrapping up the training seminar at her work today that was introducing new products to their line. She said she would be done about noon, so I planned accordingly. About 11 a.m. I started getting ready.

That gut feeling was still lingering. Then about 11:30 a.m., I get this:

Mona: Hi… u r going to be mad at me. 😦

Me: Why?

Mona: But I will make it up to u if u aren’t mad.!
Mona: I won’t make lunch
Mona: But it’s for a good reason!

I told her I wasn’t happy about it, but I wasn’t mad either. I understood and it was fine. Though I didn’t really understand because I still don’t know what the “good reason” was. But anyway … then she said.

Mona: I will make it up to u by going on even more dates with u!!

Playfully I asked for that in a binding contract and asked if those “more dates” are dates she wouldn’t have normally gone on with me. It seems doing saying you will do something you were going to do anyway isn’t really doing anything to “make it up” to someone. Just sayin’.

So after some more back-and-forth, I asked when she wanted to get together again, hoping she would say something like “come over to watch football on Sunday” or ‘how about lunch Monday.” Instead she said “maybe we can shoot for next weekend sometime.”

Duh! I’d already mentioned on our last date that my ex was going to be in town that weekend for his baseball games and she would have him the whole weekend, so I would be free to do whatever she wanted. So again, that’s not anything new, different, or extra.

I know it is different, and it truly does feel different, but there is that part of my psyche that is trying to link this to what happened with Ellen. And to be completely honest, I can’t remember a time ever getting cancelled on ended up well. So maybe I’m lumping all of that baggage on Mona unfairly. But let’s face it, I really don’t want to wait another week to see if she is actually going to follow through with it or not.

I have every indication to think that she will, but there is a part of me that is beginning to question that.

How do you feel when you’ve been cancelled on by someone you’ve been seeing for a little while? Not a first date or someone you are clearly exclusive with, but someone you are just starting out with.

Honestly, I’m a little weirded out. And ladies, here’s how you can tell if you’re guy is interested in just you or has other options out there. If you cancel on him and he doesn’t seem to care, that is generally a pretty good sign he has other girls on stand-by waiting to fill your spot. But if you cancel and he gets upset or seems genuinely wounded, that probably means you’re it on his list and you just torched his plans for the day, evening or whatever.

So why is this bothering me so much?

I’m pretty sure it’s that old self-defense thing kicking in. There is/was a lot of potential with her, more than I can say I’ve had with any others (except maybe Abigail, but I already said that before), and to be frank, I don’t want to have to go back out there and give it another try with someone else again for a while. I’m getting wore out by this dating thing.

And sometimes I am just a pessimist at heart. I have always had a bad knack of being a pessimist when things get questionable, that way, when things work out, they look so much better, or when they fail, then I was kind of expecting it and it doesn’t hurt so bad.

So help me out here. Is there any reason for concern or am I just being overly pessimistic right now? Let me know what you think. And, as always, thanks for reading.

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2 thoughts on “This looks familiar, have I been down this road before?”

  1. It’s a fun trap we get into with this stuff. Fun being a totally sarcastic way of saying the exact opposite. From a girl’s perspective, it’s kind of a double edged sword sometimes. Because on one hand, we may want to schedule a ton of stuff with you – heck – fill up the days! 🙂 .. but on the other hand, we don’t want to come on as too much. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told by guys that girls at this stage you’re in, in a relationship, need to “keep it loose”. I know it’s easy to question everything, question yourself, question her… but for now – I’d say to try and keep optimistic. 🙂

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