Christmas Eve ramblings and updates

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

Since I’m sitting at my parent’s house (totally bored) alone with my sons are with their mothers this year, I figured I’d catch you all up on how things are going.

I told you I pretty much put dating on hold over the Holidays, so … of course, what happens? Yep, multiple interests come seeking me out. Never fails.

I seriously contemplate just forgetting about actively dating because when I ignore the “dating game” prospects just come to me (somehow).

I’ve had two serious prospects over the last week or so. Both contacted me on Match and I’ve been talking with both since. Naomi, is a petite, 40-something CPA, mother of 3; and Olive is my age, a classic country girl with a son about the same age as my youngest son.

Things with Naomi were a little too aggressive and moved a bit too fast. We’d been taking for about a week when I took my son to his mom’s. She was very aggressive in saying how much she was thinking about me and talking about plans and stuff already. This is all before we’ve even met yet. So on my way back from dropping my son off, she called and we talked almost the entire 4-hour trip back. Then she basically invited herself over to meet me at my house when I got home (about 1 a.m.).

We both had to work the next day, but I figured “what the hell, why not?” She met me near my house and followed me home. Honestly, once we got to my place, I figured we’d chat for a while and she’d go home. I was wrong. I grabbed us both some water in the kitchen when she came in and grabbed me and started making out with me. She dragged me to the couch for some more making out, then suggested we go upstairs to the bedroom.

Ok. This was moving a bot way too fast for something that would have any chance of being a serious relationship. But I’m a guy, it’s not like I’m gonna really say NO and stop things. My chances at this are too far and few between.

After a vigorous round of bedroom aerobics, she stayed and cuddled til we both fell asleep. She stayed until about 5 a.m., when she got up to leave and get ready for work. All the next day she texted and called repeatedly. Over the next few days, the conversations trailed because she was becoming too clingy and we hadn’t even really gone a date yet. I was getting highly annoyed, and just couldn’t take it much more. So I told her I wasn’t sure things were working out, maybe we should slow it down a bit and see what happens. It’s been a few days and I haven’t heard from her since.

I haven’t met Olive yet, in person, but we talk every day. She’s very sweet and we have so much in common and our little boys seem almost identical. So far, if there’s a problem of any kind, it’s that our schedules have been seriously conflicting so we haven’t been able it meet yet. It’s not a serious issue since we’ve only been trying for about a week to find a time. But she had her son when I was free and now that he’s visiting his father’s, I’m visiting my family out of town.

But as I’ve been writing this, Olive has been texting me the whole time because she’s bored bad wants me to keep her company.

I am a little paranoid about dragging this out about another week or so, because the last time this happened, coincidentally over the Christmas break, the girl I was into moved on (back to her ex-husband) before I really even had a chance.

But I guess, as they say, “things happen for a reason.” Maybe this one will work out better than that one.

I’m going to sign off for now. “It’s A Wonderful Life” and a 24 hours of “A Christmas Story” are on.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all, and thanks again for reading.

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Holiday Season means I’m on a Break

ImageIt’s the season for giving, family, friends and loved ones. Not new girlfriends.

Once the Holiday season rolls around, if I am not already involved with a woman, I shut things down for a while, kind of like a cab driver who turns off the “In Service” light to prevent new riders from hailing his cab.

Yes, it is great to share the holidays with that someone special, but it is totally awkward when it is with someone new. You have to worry about gifts, holiday plans, and so much more.

The Holidays are the worst time to have a new flame, because you have too many questions that need to be answered:

– Have we been dating long enough to get her a gift? Or should I just get her one anyway, even though she might not get me one?

– How much do I spend? I don’t want to spend too much or get something like a ring that makes me look desperate or like I’m rushing things. What do I get her? A DVD, CD, flowers, clothes, jewelry, a puppy … what???

– How much time do we spend together over the holidays? Do I bring her to my parents’ house? Do I go to her parents’ house?

– Do we spend Christmas Day together?

Ugh. Too much to deal with.

So, instead of going through all of this, I just choose to enjoy myself with my friends and family, and take a break between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. After Valentine’s Day, I’ll put the “In Service” light back on and actually put effort into dating.

Though, I will admit that it is always nice to have a date for New Year’s Eve. But that doesn’t mean I can’t make it work. I’ve done just fine going out solo (or with friends) on New Year’s Eve.

But this doesn’t mean if a good opportunity presents itself in the next month or so, I won’t pursue it. I will. I am just not actively seeking it right now.

That also doesn’t mean I won’t be posting anything, because I will. We still have a lot to talk about, and who knows what might happen over the Holidays.

Fastest Way to a Woman’s Heart: Another Woman

Jealous much?I know I have a lot of women who read this blog, but I’m here to not only share my experiences and entertain, I’m also here to help my fellow men and single fathers through this mess we call dating. So, ladies, if I’m giving away any deep, dark secrets, I hope you understand.

I know this topic seems a little confusing and cryptic, but by the time I’m done explaining, I’m sure it will make sense.

If you’re trying to get a woman, why do you need another woman? If you have one woman, why would you need another woman? Are you trying to pick up women while you’re with your wife or girlfriend? How can another woman help you get a woman?

All good questions, but you’re missing the point. The “second” woman I am referring to is nothing more than a friend. And by that, I mean someone you know, who is female, who has no interest in you sexually and you have no interest in them sexually. You two can hang out and never have to worry about any sexual tension or awkwardness.

Why?

It’s easy; women are very jealous, catty, competitive creatures.

If a woman has ANY feelings for you at all, seeing you having a good time with another woman (regardless of her connection to you) will bring those feelings to the surface and amplify them. And – almost every time – she will end up acting on those feelings – sooner rather than later.

For some reason, women have this automatic “that’s MY man!” defensive reaction when they see a guy they have feelings for with another woman, even if that guy is an ex-boyfriend, ex-husband or even just a guy at work who has caught her eye. It triggers that mechanism in them that makes them think “he must have something going for him if she likes being with him.” The next response depends on the relationship status. If you are exes, her next response will be along the lines of a “I saw him first” type of reaction, but if you haven’t dated yet, it is more of a “I want whatever she’s having” type of reaction. Either way, she will start paying a lot more attention to you, and may even get aggressive about it by inserting herself into your conversation with this “other woman”. Regardless, she will be very flirty with you. Enjoy it!

Not only have I had numerous women confirm this to me, it was recently demonstrated with my ex high school girlfriend. Plus I have another very interesting story to share that will clearly demonstrate what I mean.

A few years ago, before I met and married my son’s mother, I was living in the Washington, D.C. area. I met this girl, Jeni, on Yahoo! Personals (still my #1 choice of dating sites of all-time). Jeni was a tall, beautiful blonde girl originally from Finland. Ok, not quite Sweden but still Scandinavian, close enough.

We had been on a few dates when she invited me out to double date with her and her roommate because her (roommate’s) boyfriend, Chad, was in town (he lived in Ohio). I know that description may have seemed obvious to most of you, some of you might have been confused. I met them at their house and we headed to one of the popular college hangout areas near D.C.

In the car, Chad and I sat in the backseat while the girls rode in the front. Things were pretty cool but not real affectionate. It seemed like four friends heading out instead of boyfriends and girlfriends, or any dating type of vibe. When we got to the bar, it was packed but we managed to find a 4-seat high-top table. When we got to the table, as gentlemen do, we waited for the women to take their seats, and the fact that the girls chose to sit on the same side of the table kind of set the tone for the evening. So Chad sat directly across from Chrissy, and I sat directly across from Jeni.

Something just didn’t feel right the whole night. Chad and I talked about it during their trips to the bathroom together (yes, multiple trips). We figured either they were (A) not really interested in us, but that wasn’t really what we thought was going on, or (B) they were playing hard to get or some other game. So I suggested we raise the ante on the night and make things more interesting. Chad agreed.

So, the next time the girls went to the bathroom, I found the closest waitress at the bar. I gave her $40 – money for two drinks and the rest was tip for her if she played along with my plan. She agreed. The plan was when the two girls returned, wait a few minutes, bring two drinks over to the table and say they “are compliments of the girls down there” pointing across the room to the other end of the bar. There were so many people there, it would be impossible to figure out who she was pointing at.

After the girls returned, a few minutes passed before the waitress came to the table. Just as we discussed, she dropped off two drinks and said they were “from the girls over there” pointing to the other end of the bar. Both Jeni and Chrissy raised up out of their seats to see if they could find them. Chrissy then asked her “which girls?” Playing along perfectly, without missing a beat, the waitress said “Two blondes right there … wait … I don’t see them any more,” and walked away.

You could feel the heat coming from the other side of the table. They asked what that was all about. I told them these two girls were walking by and bumped into me almost spilling their drinks. I apologized and the next thing we knew we were just talking. They asked if we were there with anybody and we told them yes. Then they left.

Almost immediately, within a matter of one or two minutes, the entire mood at the table changed. The girls started reaching over and touching our arms and hands. A little while longer, the girls switched things up to where Jeni and I were on the same side together, as were Chad and Chrissy, and holding hands, snuggling and even light kissing was soon to follow. On the way home, I sat in the back with Jeni, as Chad and Chrissy sat in the front.

Once we got back to their house, the girls went upstairs to change while us boys sat downstairs watching SportsCenter. After the girls were completely upstairs out of earshot, Chad turns to me and says “that was the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. I’m gonna tell all the guys at the firehouse this story when I get back home.” Chad and I still keep in touch, to this day, after that.

The girls came back downstairs in short boy shorts and camisoles – like they coordinated it or something – and mixed some drinks for us all. And the next morning they made breakfast for us all – if you follow me.

So again, my advice; always have a girl or two in your group (but not too many) when you go out looking for women. It will stack the deck in your favor, and if you have any game at all, it will usually work very well. More times than not, if there is a girl at the bar who digs you, she will seek out your female companion and ask her questions about you before she makes her move, or she will tell your female friend to have you go over and talk to her.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, just ask. I’m an open book. And as always, thanks for reading.

20 Years later the Ex is back (sort of)

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving! I can’t believe it is December already. The weather is getting crappy and my dating life is already there.

But I do have an interesting story for ya’ll.

I was visiting my parents over the Thanksgiving holiday. They still live in the same town I grew up in, but not the same house. I had been talking with some of my friends (both male and female) about getting together while I was there. So after I did my Black Friday shopping (in the AFTERNOON and still go all the stuff I wanted), I picked up my good friend Dan and we headed downtown to hit all of the “hot spots”. The town I’m from is about 100,000 people in the Midwest near a lot of farm country, so “hot spots” is a term I use lightly.

Dan and I have been friends forever. We grew up playing basketball together, and he was one only three people I knew growing up that were taller than me. And we’re both pretty good-looking guys, so going out together is always fun because ladies like the tall guys, and we’re like the Twin Towers standing out in a crowd sometimes.

We hit a few places that were dead, maybe a dozen people or so. Then we hit this rather new place and it had a pretty good crowd. We ordered some beers and found a table and were just standing there talking waiting for some of our other friends to meet us there. That is when I noticed, across the room, my ex-girlfriend from my senior year of high school. She was a little younger than me, but I thought I really loved this girl. My whole senior year revolved around her.

Dan and I started talking about her, and he told me that her husband was working at the bar (he was over 6-foot tall and 300+ lbs) and they were swingers and other stuff. He even said he thought she tried hooking up with him at some point a while back. He said he frequently talks with her when they are out. I really didn’t think much of it because I had seen her a couple of times over the years but we had never spoken. And I figured she pretty much hated me.

Well a little while later, she came over to the table to talk to Dan and apparently didn’t know he was there with me. It was a very brief awkward conversation and she left.

About 30 minutes later some of our other friends arrived, including Renee – a cute, little blonde with a sexy raspy voice. I have known Renee since I was about 4 years old and she lived across the street from my grandmother’s house, where I practically lived when I was growing up. So we are very good friends. We never dated – just in case you were asking.

It wasn’t too long before my ex, Sidney, came back to the table and started talking to us more. She was a lot more friendly and much more talkative. We were having fun picking on the “wannabe” boyfriend of Renee’s friend because he was totally jealous of the girls hanging out with me and Dan. He was way older than us and was acting like a stupid insecure teenager.

After a few more beers, Dan and I decided on going to the strip club down the street. Why? Because that was the only way we were going to see naked girls that night, and it sounded like a good place to just hang out and catch up. Well, before we could leave, Sidney had managed to invite herself along somehow. So the three of us headed out. We didn’t even get to the street corner before Sidney grabs my arm and starts walking arm-in-arm with me. I was cool with it. I don’t have any grudges with her and she’s married so I didn’t think it would lead to anything.

But once we got to the strip club, things got crazy. She apparently was there regularly because her husband also works at that bar. She was walking behind the bar getting us whatever drinks we wanted, going up to the stage messing around with the dancers, and more. That was nothing compared to her constantly touching me, rubbing up against me, and oh right, grabbing my crotch and butt frequently.

Over the next hour or so, she was texting me (yes, while we were there together) about how attracted to me she still was and more. Once it came time to leave, she asked if we could give her a ride home since her husband was still working at the bar. We agreed, but once we were in the car, she asked if we could drop Dan off first. Uhhh, ok. I see what’s going on here.

Once we got to Dan’s we all went into Dan’s because we had to go to the bathroom – we drank a lot of beer, remember.

We talked for a few minutes and then Dan started to get ready for bed. Sidney grabbed my hand, got real close and said she wanted to me right there. Dan came into the hallway and I just said to him “we’ll be downstairs” in his basement, where he had a couch, bar and big screen tv set up.

Pretty much as soon as we entered the room she started taking off her clothes. Before you knew it, we were both naked and she was orally taking care of business. I’m not gonna give all the rest of the graphic details, but I’m sure you can figure it out.

I talked to Dan the next day and he was cool with everything, so I didn’t offend him or anything. And we’ve talked about it all again since.

To make a long story not as long, Sidney has since added me to Facebook and texted me every day since. There is no expectation for any sort of relationship, but we have been catching up, even straightened out why we ended up breaking up, and much more. One of the most interesting things we talked about was that night at the bar. I asked her what happened to make her change her mood so quickly. She went from ice queen to in my pants in record time. She told me it was Renee, my blonde female friend. She kept watching us talking and having a good time together at the bar, and it made her jealous. After 20 years, three kids and a husband, she was still jealous about me with another woman. Dan even said she kept asking him about Renee, and if she was my girlfriend and stuff.  I always find it so amusing how much women can make each other jealous and competitive. I have a whole theory on that, but that can wait for another post.

It has been fun and interesting. But she is asking about my plans for Christmas because she wants to try to hook up again then. So, we shall see. But even if it doesn’t, that was one pretty crazy weekend and I never saw any of that coming.

I figured since I don’t have any real dating prospects right now, I’d fill you all in on something that’s between going on with me and the ladies.

Stay warm, and as always, thanks for reading!