We’re nearing the holiday season – Thanksgiving is just days away – so it seemed appropriate to take a break and update you all on how things are going in my world.
Things have been rather busy. I’ve been finishing up my last semester at school and finally graduate in December. Taking two decades off in between college stints can make things a little difficult. When I’m not in class, I’ve been working as an intern at a publishing house. It’s been real fun but doesn’t really pay me anything worth mentioning. I’m definitely looking forward to getting back into a full-time job, so I can just focus on one “job” at a time and have more money again. Things have definitely been tight trying to make it through this final stretch at college and finally get my degree. And trying to find that full-time job has also been consuming a heavy dose of my free time.
So, with all of that plus taking care of my son, on top of still dating Olive, my time to sit down and write you all has been almost non-existent. I apologize if I left you hanging.
It has been almost a year exactly since I first contacted Olive on Match. I first contacted her on Black Friday last year. We didn’t actually meet until early January. We’re still dating exclusively and I haven’t been on Match (or any other dating site) since January.
Things are going really good. We see each other as much as possible. We don’t see each other every day, and that’s not really possible since she lives about 30 minutes away. There just isn’t enough time for either of us to drive all they way to the other’s house and then return home to get our boys’ homework done and ready for bed, and still make it worth it. She does come over every Wednesday night because her son is with his father Wednesday evenings and she only works 10-15 minutes from my house. It saves her a lot of driving to just hang out with us at the house, and it guarantees a chance to see each other during the week. When the weather is nicer, we workout together and go running or something. She’s into working out and keeping herself in shape, like I am. She actually is probably a little more fanatic about it. I work out 3-4 times a week, she works out every day.
Being apart and not seeing each other has its ups and downs. It really keeps us from getting on each other’s nerves and kind of keeps things fresh. The downside is that we don’t get to see each other more.
Our boys are close in age and really get along well together. They’re always asking us when the next time we will hang out is going to be. It makes it a lot easier with them getting along so well. It might be a different story if they were far apart in age and/or not both boys.
The only real issue has been her insecurities. It is very rare that something comes up, but when it does it can get a little crazy. She can definitely over-think things and that can make her a little crazy. Then we have to go through the conversation about whether I see a future with us and where I stand, because she finds it odd that the distance doesn’t bother me like it bothers her. But then I have to explain that it does bother me, but I don’t externalize it like she does because there just isn’t any point in getting upset about it, because there’s nothing we can really do about it. When I ask her what I could change or do differently, she really doesn’t have a good response, because there isn’t anything. The situation is currently what it is, and even she admits were not at the point where we would consider moving in together. We’re definitely on track to get there eventually, just not soon.
Here ex-husband is a total deadbeat douche bag and she lets him really walk all over her and try to control her. And the worst part is that he actually has his new wife do all his dirty work for him and she is the one who actually does all of the “fighting” for him. It’s all I can do not to jump in and give them a piece of my mind. I’m biding my time, but eventually that day will come and I guarantee you that would make for a fun post to read.
But nothing, so far, has given me any reason to doubt the relationship at this point. Olive is a very sweet girl and we fit well together in lots of ways. And I definitely don’t have the feeling that I’m staying with her just to stay with someone and not be single. I’m not doing that again! I definitely feel like I’m with her because I want to be with her. She knows that. I make that clear, just as I make clear that I’m not going to hang around just because I don’t want to be single. I’m totally OK with being single. In a way that kind of bothers her, that I’m so OK with being single.
Well, I just wanted to give you all an update on what was going on. I will definitely try to update more regularly, if that’s what you want. I’ll also try to post more random thoughts about dating issues. If there’s anything else you want to see, please let me know.
Thank you all for reading, and I hope you all have a good Thanksgiving! ‘Til next time …