Staci Update: Mountain out of a Molehill and She cancelled again

Yesterday sucked! There I said it, and got it out of the way. Yesterday was clearly the low point. I guess it was bound to happen but you never expect it or want it to.

Today starts Staci’s 3-day concert binge. I think I mentioned before it was a 4-day event, but tickets for the Sunday concert fell through. So I was trying to make sure I got to spend time with her since it looked like it was possibly going to be more than a week without seeing each other.

Earlier in the week, I offered to make her dinner at her house and hang out. She was all for it. She had corn on the cob that we needed to make, so I settled on making steak and shrimp kabobs to go with it. She even invited her roommate and her roommate’s fiance to join us. Tuesday night I was shopping for the meat and a few extras.

Staci texted to let her know how much it was going to cost so she could pay me for it. I instantly declined, saying it was my idea and something I wanted to do for her. I suggested she could by the wine or whatever drink she wanted to go with it, jokingly suggesting that way she would know it wasn’t “roofied”. It’s kind of an inside joke between us, it’s nothing serious.

However our back-and-forth about that took a weird turn. She said that was a good point and I responded that I was looking out for her. And she mentioned I was saving her from me “roofying” her drink. I countered that it was rather insulting because I would never consider such a thing. There was a little more to it, but then she texted “Are we having our first fight?” To me that turned the whole situation a little more serious. I was completely joking and figured she was as well, until that comment. I said “I can’t tell.” Then her response led me to believe that she was, in fact, just messing with me.

After that, I went home to prepare the meats in marinades to grill them at her house. We texted back and forth for a while. I did most of the texting. Asking a lot of questions about preparing for the next day. Her responses were short and she did not follow up. I did notice that every time I would ask “what are you doing?”, “what do you have planned tonight?”, “what’s going on?”, etc., she wouldn’t answer that particular question. Not normally a big deal, but once you add it up with other (later) factors, it starts to raise concerns.

Then around midnight, I started to notice I hadn’t heard from Staci, nor had she responded to any of my questions in about 3 hours. So I texted her “Is everything OK?” Again, no response.

I started to wonder if maybe she went out with her friends and wasn’t home yet. So, as I tried to get to sleep, I couldn’t help keep an ear open for the phone waiting to see if she texted that she was home or going to bed. Still nothing. From then on, I was lying awake in bed with my brain on overdrive wondering what was going on. Overall I may have got about an hour or so of sleep before having to get up early for work.

Tired and frustrated, I did not text her like I normally do when I get up. I wanted to see how long it would take to hear from her. About 90 minutes later, she texted “Hi”. That’s it. Not “good morning” or anything, just “Hi.” As we talked, I asked “what was up with last night?” She said she got caught up doing stuff. I should’ve probably left it there. But being overly tired and aggravated, I continued, asking her “Like what?” She got a little defensive, the sent a laundry list of things and then asked if I thought she was on a date.

Shortly thereafter, she suggested we cancel dinner for last night. I asked why and she said she was tired and would probably be better off alone. I insisted on continuing with our plans. I even said that I felt crappy enough, being tired, as well as how things went that morning, that the last thing I wanted to do was miss out on seeing her like we planned.

The rest of the day, we texted basically like normal. Everything seemed to be getting better. But I wouldn’t be convinced until I knew we were still following through with our plans. She said she was going to call me on her way home from work.

After I got home from work, I texted her asking what time she wanted me to come over. A little while later she finally called me. She said she wanted to pass on dinner tonight, again, and that she just had too much to do. She had errands and stuff to do before she got home and was just feeling crabby because she didn’t sleep well – apparently.

So I agreed to pass on dinner, and she recommended rescheduling Sunday, but said I still planned on going over to see her. She said she would let me know once she got home, and then I would go over. A couple of hours later she called me to tell me she was on her way to workout at her brother’s house. I asked if she decided to go there to intentionally avoid me. She denied it (obviously) and said she would call me after she was done.

Before she got to her brother’s, we talked for a while. When i mentioned that the cause for concern was that she always said goodnight before bed, or let me know when she got home from going out, her response was not what I expected. Instead of apologizing or adequately explaining why, she went on to explain that she doesn’t follow patterns or regimens very well. She randomly goes to bed and randomly wakes up. So the fact that she did that every night was just a coincidence and not something she does regularly. When I asked if that would be something she would consider doing, she basically said “No” without actually saying those words.

Then I mentioned how all of this didn’t make me feel very important. I explained that a lot of things she has said (including the times she said I was more important than certain people, and even though I called her out for just trying to flatter me, she insisted it was true) really meant a lot to me and made me feel very important, especially when we are together. But that cancelling on me for a second time and the way things went last night didn’t make me feel very important. On a side note, she didn’t even remember the first time she cancelled on me and I had to remind her – in great detail before she remembered or admitted to remembering. However, looking back on this now, I think bringing this up, as well as calling her out about not cancelling on anyone else, actually seemed to resonate with her and made a difference.

Whether you think that makes me sound needy or not, the fact remains that it is hard to make it through any relationship without knowing you are important or loved.

She had said that she was going to call me after she got back from her brothers. About three hours had passed before I heard from her. Just texts, no phone calls. And the texts were pretty “normal” for us under normal circumstances. We chatted for a while until she said she was crawling into bed.

That’s when she asked if I was still mad. I told her that I wasn’t mad, I was never mad. At that point, I decided to call her because I didn’t want to text about this all night. Honestly I hate texting important, serious stuff.

I might have been a lot of things – disappointed, irritated, hurt, confused – but I was not/never mad or angry. Saying I was confused seemed to spark her interest. She asked what I meant. I explained to her that I was confused how things turn from so incredibly good to … whatever this was, so quickly – in a matter of hours.

That’s when I told her I was totally fine with her being the way she was, and I could handle it, as long as I always knew where I stood and how she felt about me. And if she didn’t communicate like most girls do, then she needed to help me understand how she works and how she “communicates” her feelings when we aren’t physically together. I think that was also another point that clicked with her. And guys, here’s a tip; if you can phrase something in the way of asking for help with something -instead of demanding or ordering them to do something, women are a lot more likely to cooperate. Trust me, it works a lot better that way.

The last part of the conversation was much lighter and more like normal. She repeatedly said she really wanted to see me and was sorry how things worked out. We (tentatively) planned to get together Sunday, but only tentatively because there is still a small chance she still goes to the concert with her friends. But she said she is also really wanting to see me Sunday. We’ll see how this pans out.

Today has pretty much back to normal. Typical conversations and she has even been blatantly flirting. And something tells me she’ll contact me when she gets home from her concert tonight. I just have a hunch on this one.

I think even though she tries to maintain the “indifferent, emotionless, strong, self-controlled, independent woman” facade, she knows that any good relationship requires two-way communication and trust. There are always little compromises to make, and she knows she needs to work with me and not just insist on things being the way she always does them or wants them to be.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on how things go. So, please check back again soon.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments. And as always, thanks for reading.

Staci Update: Hot and Heavy but not quite a Home Run yet

Time is quickly running out on my Summer Vacation. My son returns in just under two weeks, which is going to put a serious halt to my spontaneity, as well as my ability to see Staci on a regular basis. We’ve had several discussions about it, it almost seems like a daily thing, because it is really log-jammed in my brain.

I guess it’s mainly just my insecurity creeping through,  but my concern is that she’ll realize it’s not worth it to try and maintain a relationship with me while having to deal with my ridiculous schedule. She insists it won’t be a problem, and when I look at it logically, I’m sure she’s right. We really only see each other once, maybe twice per week as it is – and that’s with me having my open schedule right now. Between spending time with her family (her father, brother and sister all live in the area) and friends, as well as giving her time to do what she needs to do around the house, it’s not like we’ve been seeing each other every day or anything.

The only problem is that once my son returns, we will have to be more deliberate and schedule time together. But again, that’s not a huge change from what we do already. The big change will be on my end having to find someone to watch my son on our date nights. Especially since it is still going to be a while before we start incorporating Staci into events with my son, we will have to set up specific date nights and I’ll have to set up a regular babysitter for that time.

The issue with that is me getting over my guilt. I have a tendency to feel guilty doing things, buying things or taking time for myself. I know I need to take time for myself – all the post-divorce books say so, my friends and family say so, and even Staci says so. I just need to work on it myself.

On with the update …

Things have been going really good. Since last I updated you (when she tried to get me to hang out with her friend), we went to the concert she really wanted to see, last week. Since it was such a big deal for her, I did a little extra work and spent a little extra money to make sure we had excellent seats (within the first ten rows). It was a great night, and she was all over me all night,

I very much like the fact that she is not hesitant about showing her affection for me in public; holding hands, arms around each other, holding each other, and kissing each other – not just pecks, but serious kisses. She initiates it just as much as I do, which is even better.

The next “small leap for man, one giant leap for me” came this weekend. Staci wanted to take me shopping to refresh my wardrobe. My closet definitely needs an update, but I’m a guy, I hate shopping for clothes. To me, if it fits and is comfortable, I don’t see a reason to change.

She said I “already look hot, but would look super hot” with some newer clothes. So I gave her a few hundred dollars and told her to go nuts. We spent about 4+ hours shopping. Though I hate shopping, it was a fun spending that much time with her, and to say there was a lot of flirting is an understatement. She was always wanting me to turn around so she could see my butt in jeans and shorts. She said she really wanted to see me in some specific clothes, and I said I wanted to try on the clothes that she wanted to see me out of. That’s when she rebutted with “Doesn’t that mean the same thing?” And watching her face when I try certain things on was very rewarding and encouraging.

She even joked (how much was joking and how much might be serious is up for debate) that after this (meaning shopping for new clothes) that I would drop her like a bad habit because I would have more/better options available to me now that I would look better going out. Ya, I don’t see that happening. But it was sweet to say.

The only time we disagreed on a purchase was when she wanted to me to get a pair of rather plain khaki shorts. I thought they looked a little simple, and made me look like an old golfer. She loved them on me and insisted and insisted that I get them. So ultimately I said what mattered most what was what she thought about it, not what I thought. If she liked it that much, and it registered on the “Hot and Bothered” meter (which was referenced numerous times during the day – by her), then I might as well get them and wear them sometime when we’re together. I won’t wear them any other time. But I compromised. Ha!

After a long day of shopping, we went back to her house to get ready to go out to dinner with Jack and Amy. I showered while she picked out clothes for me to wear. No, she didn’t pick out the khaki shorts. Once I was ready, and waiting for her, I crashed on her bed for a while because I was exhausted. When she was ready to go, she came out, and instead of sitting on the bed next to me – as I fully expected – she got on top of me straddling & kissing me. Nothing serious happened, except for a few minutes of kissing, before we had to head to the restaurant.

We met Jack and Amy at a Mexican restaurant. Not the best I’ve been to, but it was OK. I mainly drank my dinner anyway, having several fruit-infused margaritas. After dinner, we went to a nearby bar for a few drinks before heading back to Staci’s house.

That is when things got serious. Once we started going, it got very hot and heavy. To the point where she said she was very forward, aggressively saying things like she wanted me to stick my tongue in her mouth (not that wasn’t happening already), to use my tongue on her more, and at one point she grabbed the waist of my shorts with both hands like she was about to undo them saying “I want these off of you.” But shortly after that, when I suggested heading upstairs (to her bedroom), she backed away and stopped saying she wasn’t ready for that, yet. That break happened about halfway through the entire session together, and we continued on for quite a while after that, just not pushing it further, though she was still pressing and rubbing her hip or upper thigh up against my crotch so she could “feel me”.

I am not sure what is exactly going on with her “not being ready, yet” but I am also not pressing the issue. Clearly all the major signs are there, but whatever that final obstacle is – I don’t know. I’m not sure if she’s just scared because it’s been so long since her last time, she’s just insecure about her body, she wants to make sure I’m in it for the long haul and just not in it for the sex, or if she’s waiting for some sort of “I love you” moment where she’s certain she feels that way about me and/or I feel that way about her. I don’t know, maybe it’s something else altogether. I don’t want to get pessimistic here, but I’ve seen instances where a cheating woman – married or in a relationship – will back off just short of sex, because to her that would be cheating. Not the seeing, kissing and making out with other men – clearly. I don’t think that’s the case here, but that’s the dark, pessimistic side creeping through.

Honestly, I’m really hoping it gets resolved within the next week or so, because I really don’t want to have this still up in the air and unresolved when my son is here. But again, if it doesn’t, it won’t be a deal-breaker or anything.

Even the time in between seeing each other is getting much better. She’s calling more, texting more without me texting first, opening up a lot more when she talks/texts. Even this morning she called right as I was getting up because she wanted to talk to me as she was driving into work. She’s also interested in a lot of other aspects of my life, offering suggestions and encouragement, and making sure I follow through on things. I can’t say I’ve had someone looking after me like that in any relationship I’ve been in over the last 10-15 years.

But it still has it’s moments where I wonder if she’s really interested or not. But again, that could just be the pessimism of relationships past creeping in. I could probably write a whole post on all the negative, pessimistic thoughts I get every once in a while. If you want to hear the dark side, let me know.

Well, that should be enough for today. Not that I put a cap on length, but we’ve crossed the 1500-word mark. I’ll definitely post more, don’t worry. And as always, thanks for reading!

Staci, Amy wanted me to go out with their friend tonight – alone

I really hope I can adequately describe what happened last night. It was kind of odd, and I have never dealt with something like that before so I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it.

Staci spent all day (yesterday) at the lake partying with Amy and some other friends. After they got back to their room, I was talking to Staci as they were all getting ready before they went out for dinner.

A little while later, she texted me, mentioning that another one of their friends (Lilly) who was still back here in town was bored and looking for something to do because she was bummed her friends were all out of town this weekend. She asked me if I would be interested in hanging out with her (Lilly). Staci made sure to emphasize that it wasn’t a date, but since we were both back here alone we could hang out together and grab a drink or go to a movie. She even sent me her phone number so I could call or text her.

What? Seriously? Is this a trap? Does this not seem a little odd to anyone else, or was it just me?

I mentioned my reservations about it, and she said both her and Amy discussed it before mentioning it to me and didn’t think it was weird – even though they had to address the question of whether it was weird or not amongst themselves.

I wasn’t opposed to the idea, it was better than staying home all night. But it just sounded weird. So I called Staci to discuss it.

Basically I just said “Are we good?” I wanted to make sure this wasn’t one of those situations where she wasn’t really that into me, and was talking to Amy about it, and they both thought that I might be a good fit for their friend. She insisted that wasn’t the case at all and was quick to assure me that we were good. Then I mentioned that it would probably work better if she called Lilly first to talk things though, since they apparently hadn’t even talked to her about that yet. I’m not making first contact with a girl I have never met before to be like “hey, we both know the same people, so let’s go hang out tonight.” Talk about setting me up to be a total creeper.

A few minutes later Staci texted me that Lilly wasn’t feeling up to going out. Whew! I was off the hook!

We talked for a little while longer, but it was shortly after that that she went to bed and said she’d talk to me tomorrow/today. She didn’t mention one thing about us getting together today. However I only heard like two words from her all day. Seemed a little odd. Finally she texted me that she had been home for a little while and was getting ready to run errands before the stores closed (early on Sunday).

The upside was that we talked on the phone nearly the entire time she was running her errands. She mentioned that Jack and Amy invited us over to his place next Sunday to barbecue and hang out at his pool. So, I took that opportunity to ask about other possible times to get together, since she cancelled last Thursday and “ignored” today.

She said anytime I want to do something, come up with a plan and shoot it at her and she’ll let me know if she’s available. Then we had a fun little back and forth as I mentioned it works easier for me to know if she’s free and what timetable I’m working with so i can plan our activities accordingly. I’m not sure how it will all work out, but we’re making progress.

And the fact that my son comes back in about three weeks came up again. I am really dreading that, because I am not 100% certain how Staci will handle that.

She mentioned that Wednesday would work, but I mentioned that I was surprised Wednesday was open because one of her favorite bands is in town that day. She said she wanted to go but wasn’t 100% certain, but if it was a date-night thing, then she’d be all for going. Somehow I felt like I got suckered into that one.

So, with the door opened, I’m just going to flood the “reservation desk” with all sorts of requests and see how many I can get in before my son returns. I am also very curious to see if this whole “sex” thing will get resolved before then as well. Wish me luck!

Stayed tuned for more, and as always, thanks for reading.

Staci Update: Dinner, meeting her best friend not what I was expecting

Last night, meeting Staci’s best friend Amy (and Amy’s boyfriend Jack) was good but definitely didn’t go the way I would’ve expected it to.

They day was filled with lots of questions about the dinner plans and such. They were planning on making salmon for us. Staci knew I didn’t like fish. But I said I would be OK with the salmon. Later, she asked me to bring my dog over to play with her dog since they made friends during our trip to the concert. The funny thing was, I had thought about asking her about bringing my dog but wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate.

Jack and I arrived at Staci’s at the same time. The girls were almost done with preparing dinner. Staci was making daiquiris while Amy was finishing up the broccoli pasta. That’s when Staci mentioned she was making me brats since I didn’t like fish. I emphatically insisted that wasn’t necessary and I would be fine with the salmon. I felt rather uncomfortable being singled out with something special to eat.

But I ate a brat because she made it and then she asked me to try her salmon. I emphasized I would have been totally fine with the salmon. I’m not sure how it ended up this way, but we were sitting at her bar in the kitchen eating. I was sitting next to Jack, he was sitting next to Staci and then Amy was on the other end. It seemed really odd.

Now to Amy … she’s wild. That’s one way to describe her. She’s loud, mouthy, and doesn’t hesitate to talk about sexual things or turn everything into sexual comment. She even made sure to make a comment while they were making dinner that it had been a year or so since Staci last had sex. I guess it kind of makes sense then that she’s a construction contractor who owns her own business. She definitely seems like a handful, as well as the type of girl who likes to go out with the full intent of flirting with every guy she sees at the bar just to have a cheap, good time.

Jack agreed that she is a handful. He’s a construction worker remodeling homes. He’s was a very easy-going country boy and it didn’t take long for us to make friends. Once, when the ladies were away, he mentioned what a wild, handful Amy is.

Jack and Amy were all over each other most of the night. Like, almost uncomfortably affectionate with each other. And all night Amy kept spouting off about wanting to play Naked Twister. Staci and I were much more reserved. There was plenty of kissing and hand-holding. We even we out to sit on her deck and shared a seat, holding each other, talking and kissing all night. Jack and Amy were a bit more amorous, though they have only been dating a few more weeks than we have.

Staci and I found time alone as well. We talked about how I didn’t like the fact that my “Summer Vacation” was running out of time. It has gone by so quickly. We talked about the fact that I wanted to maximize my time with her during the remainder of the time I had, and she seemed very interested in the idea. However, getting penciled in on her calendar isn’t as easy as it sounds. Amy and Staci already have plans for going to the lake this Saturday. Jack isn’t going either. They like to have a lot of girl outings apparently. They also have a few concerts planned, on top of going out seemingly every night for drinks. I’m not exaggerating. It seems like they are out almost every night at a bar somewhere.

The evening went great. But there weren’t a lot of probing questions into my background or intentions. We just talked about random stuff. I expected more of an interrogation. But it must’ve gone well. Amy wanted us to all go out on another double-date tonight to see one of her favorite local bands play. When I left, it was all set. I left around midnight, just as Jack and Amy were leaving. Our goodbye was sweet, intimate and lingering.

Then this morning when I got up, I got a text from Staci. She said she told Amy that she was cancelling for tonight. She said she wanted to catch up on sleep tonight and was late for work while still recovering from last night. We did have about 4-5 pitchers of daiquiris between us last night. I was more than a little bummed that she cancelled. I was really looking forward to seeing her back-to-back nights. She apologized for cancelling and I said she could make it up to me.

But now I have that lingering feeling about what will really go on tonight. Will she actually stay home? I have a gut feeling that she will still go out tonight. I really hope not. One of the best things about Staci so far, is that every time I get a gut feeling that something is up – based on past experiences – she does something to emphatically prove me wrong. I am so glad I keep all of these negative thoughts to myself and don’t verbalize them or act on them in any way.

But we shall see. I am also interested to see what she does about planning for us to get together this weekend. I am not going to push the issue. I hate to play games like this, but I kind of want to see how she rebounds from cancelling our plans for tonight.

Stay tuned for more, and please let me know if you think I should add a podcast to this blog. And as always, thanks for reading.

Staci Update: Dinner at her place, I’m meeting her best friend

I got an unexpected text from Staci last night. We were chatting/texting after we both got off work – like usual. I was wanting to talk to her about possible plans to get together this weekend. But before I could get around to it, she sent me this:

“You’re coming over for dinner tomorrow, 7:30”

OK, then. Totally out of the blue. Cuts through the chase. Agressive. I love it.

The next twist also addressed something I had been wondering about recently. Staci is really hard to read – as I’ve mentioned. I know she talked about me briefly at work with some co-workers, but that was mainly because we ran into them. So after finally taking a road trip together, I was wondering if she actually had talked to her friends about me (and what did she say?).

Then she texted me that we would be joined by her best friend, Amy, and Amy’s boyfriend.

I guess that answers that question. Not only does she apparently talk to her best friend about me, but I’m being introduced to her in a private little dinner at Staci’s house.

No pressure. Right? Well, I’ll let you know how it goes. 

Should Dating Mr Mom add a Podcast?

Hello everyone,

I have been considering adding a Podcast to accompany my blog for a while now. I don’t want to do a Vlog or YouTube channel. Just an audio Podcast, about 30-40 minutes occasionally to accompany my normal blog posts, as well as talk about dating issues and things I see trending on Twitter about dating.

I’m looking for your feedback. What do you think?

Staci Update: Weekend road trip was great, despite no sex

Let’s just get it out of the way, just like I said in the headline, there was no sex this weekend on our first road trip together.

I know the general consensus was that it was almost a certainty to happen, but the fact that it didn’t doesn’t really bother me very much because the weekend was still exceptionally great.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a minor kick in the Ego that things didn’t get more physical. But it wasn’t from lack of effort, I tried – boy did I try, but I didn’t push the issue or make a big deal about it when my progressive advancements were blocked aside like a hockey goalie.

But again, to emphasize, it was still a great weekend!

Last I left off, Staci mentioned the issue of us staying together in the hotel room. I had arranged for her to be able to bring her dog, who is under medication for some issues for which she just took her to the vet. And we both took our dogs with us.

On the car ride, conversations about my dog, what she was going to do during the day while I spent the day with my son until we needed to leave for the concert, etc., led to me to believe that us staying together was not really an issue any more.

Sleeping arrangements were, as expected, in separate beds. But she did – both nights and both mornings, come lay with me, snuggle and even make out for a while. And like I said, I definitely tried to progress things, but once things seemed to get to a certain point, she would come up with an excuse to do something else (like take a shower) or go back to her bed. I didn’t make a big deal about it, nor did I try to force the issue.

She clearly wants to take things – especially in that department – slow. Though, she was all about kissing and holding hands on the first date, which is actually faster than I would normally have progressed things. I am totally fine with it, as long as the relationship as a whole continues to progress forward.

We had numerous good conversations, including her perspective on some of the “issues” that I claimed I usually have in relationships, and she attributed it to them (other girls) being immature, insecure and generally more needy. She even made the comment that I’ve “been dating girls, when (I) need to date a woman.” She even expounded on how that would make me even better, and she would “expect me to step up my game” and would help with that.

The entire weekend was very intimate and affectionate. She was just as eager to initiate contact, holding, kissing, etc., whether we were alone, at the concert, or even in public.

The concert itself was great. She was latched on to or pressed up against me the entire time. However, at the end she started to feel feel faint and had to leave. The concert was outside and was very hot and humid. As she left to go sit down somewhere to the side, she said she didn’t want me to miss the end of the concert (which was just entering the encore portion). There was no way I was letting her go off somewhere alone while she wasn’t feeling good, so I followed her and stayed by her and watched the rest of the show from the side.

When the show was over, she wanted to head inside the building near the venue to get in the air conditioning while I went to find my friends that I left when going after her. We met up again shortly after by the main entrance and she was feeling a lot better. We had planned to go out for some drinks after the concert, but my friend and his girlfriend – who we rode the concert with – bailed and said they were just going to head back home.

This is where I made my mistake. Probably.

All night, things had seemingly been progressing to the inevitable climax of sex. But it was only a little after 11pm and I know she tends to prefer to hang out later than that. So I suggested going to a bar near the hotel. We went there for another 1-2 hours drinking, playing games, talking … having a good time. But when we got back to the room, she basically crashed. She took her dog outside, came back, got ready for bed and almost immediately went to bed.

Maybe I missed my window, I’m not sure. I can’t say for certain that things would have gone differently if we would’ve just gone straight back to the room instead of going out again. Did she see that as a sign I wasn’t interested? Would things have still worked out the same – ending with no sex – regardless? I don’t know, maybe, but I just have that lingering doubt in my mind that it might have been different.

Heading home was just as good, affectionate, intimate, and productive as the rest of the weekend. Lots of talking and sharing, etc. When I dropped her off at home, I lingered for a while and she seemed to be in no hurry to get rid of me. More “making out” took place, but that was it. We definitely seem to enjoy being intimate with each other. I’ve felt when a girl just tolerates making out, kissing, etc., just to avoid an uncomfortable situation. This is NOT that. Clearly!

I am definitely flirty with her and she responds to it, just as I’d hope, and even reciprocates. I also make sure to tell her how I feel about her and what I’m thinking, so there isn’t any confusion about what my intentions are. Again, she reciprocates right along with me,

I am very much attracted to her. And she seems attracted to me as well. She says she is, but more importantly, her actions definitely show it.

For as good as the weekend was, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t through some negative vibes out there. She is still very hard to read and anticipate. It does make me wonder where this is all going. When we’re together, everything is great! But when we’re apart, I don’t hear from her like I would expect to, she doesn’t say or do things like I would expect her too. It is very hard to read.

Maybe that is just her taking it slow. Maybe that is how a more confident, mature woman does things. Maybe I am used to dealing with clingy, immature “girls” regardless of how old they might be. Then again, maybe I’m not the only one she is seeing or talking to? I don’t think she talks about me to her friends. We haven’t talked about it, but that’s the feeling I get. I definitely haven’t met any of her friends – except the co-workers we met on accident at the baseball game – and have no clue if there is an opportunity coming up or not.

I know that seems like a lot of pessimism, and trust me, I could come up with more if I wanted to. But I’m trying to stay positive. Maybe she just does things differently than I am used to, and that’s the simple answer. Maybe.

But I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my time with this. As you know, I have a short window to really get to know someone when my son is gone.

I have kind of put my chips All-In here with Staci. It’s getting too late to start something new with anyone else.

But I have to be realistic with myself. So, I’m going to give it another month – until right before my son comes back – to see where it is. Two-plus months of dating (longer if you count the Match courtship) is plenty of time to determine potential commitment, right?!? If things are not more clear, and we haven’t even had sex by then, I don’t see the point in trying to prolong it, knowing the hurdles I will have to cross to make it work after he gets back.

I am more than willing to make the effort once he is back to make it work, as long as I know the commitment and mutual feelings are there.

Hopefully things clear up, get more interesting and more solidified in the next few weeks. Stay tuned, and I promise to keep you all updated.

What do you think? What are your thoughts? What do you think about this weekend not culminating in sex, as most of you expected? Where do you think this is going? How do you read into what I’m seeing? Please share!

Staci Update: She said Yes to the weekend getaway

Today I got a little surprising news. Staci said Yes to going with me this weekend up to my parents’ for the concert. As I mentioned before, I was expecting her to say No. I can totally see that it would possibly be a big step for any relationship.

This morning she said she wanted to talk about this weekend later today. The key was noticing she ended text with a “:)”.

Then she was talking about having issues with her dog that might interfere with her being able to go. That was my second hint she was planning on going. So I said I would make sure the hotel we stayed at was pet friendly. She seemed really appreciative of that.

But it wasn’t until this evening that she called and actually confirmed she wanted to go this weekend. She decided she wanted to ride up with me Friday night, instead of driving herself. She is totally OK with me leaving her alone while I celebrate my son’s birthday Saturday.

But now that I have set up everything, my plan was we would spend the weekend at the hotel together. My thought process is that I don’t see someone committing to taking a road trip with someone – in this type of situation – without assuming we would be staying together. But that’s just me. If I stay at my parents’ and she’s in a hotel, I will barely get to see her and spend time with her, which kind of defeats the point. Right?

I guess we’ll see what happens.  And of course, I’ll keep you updated.

Ladies, what would you expect from taking a road trip with your new man, especially if you haven’t had sex yet?

Staci Update: Making Strides But The Big Test Could Be Right Around the Corner

A little over a month (and 5 dates) later, things are seemingly progressing well with Staci. Maybe the gamble is working after all. And I think it’s time to update you all on our progress, especially after throwing out a big relationship test last night.

Since my last update, we’ve been out to see “Ted 2”, she came over to my house to watch “Guardians of the Galaxy” and last night we went to a baseball game.

We didn’t do anything together over the 4th of July weekend because she already had plans to spend the weekend with girlfriends in Chicago, while I had plans to visit my brother in Dallas. That weekend trip went a lot better than the other one she took about a month ago, because this time I heard from her regularly – quite often actually.

Everything is going very well. She is almost as physically affectionate as I am. Lots of hand-holding, arms around the waist, and lots of random kissing. No making out in public, just kissing. But the “goodnight kisses” do tend to last quite a while.

And No, the evening at my house watching the movie did not end in sex. That is about the only part lacking of this whole thing.

However, a few significant events did occur last night during the baseball game. We talked quite a bit throughout the night. We only sat at our seats briefly a few times. It was raining most of the night so we decided to walk the concourse going from bar to bar inside the stadium. Today she even mentioned how much she liked that I was actually paying more attention to her than the game. Well, duh. That’s a pretty easy decision to make.

At one of the bars, we ran into two of her co-workers. She introduced me to them and I also met their wives. So, today at her office, whatever secret I may have been is out of the bag. She has also been hearing from the wives (who also happened to mention they thought I was cute) today for more details. So I guess, now, in the eyes of her co-workers, we are now an item.

But the real interesting part came when I asked her about this weekend. It is a total longshot, but I also look at it as a possible litmus test on where things stand.

I am going up to my parents’ this weekend to see my son for his birthday. As fate would have it, the concert I have been waiting for all year is also there this weekend. I already have a few friends lined up to go with me, but I wanted Staci to go as well.

I know we may not be at the “meeting parents and kids” stage yet but I still wanted her to go. I had brought it up once before a couple of weeks ago, but decided to broach the subject again at the game.

I did preface it by saying I knew it was a longshot, and was totally expecting “No” to be the answer, but wanted to ask anyway because I’d kick myself if I didn’t ask, only to find out later she would’ve said  “Yes.” Knowing she probably wouldn’t go with me on Friday, she’d likely have to drive herself on Saturday. Keep in mind it is a 4+-hour drive to where my parents live. But I offered to not only buy her ticket but to arrange for a place (hotel) for her/us to stay at up there.

She said she really wanted to go but would have to think about it because she had already committed to another event with some of her friends, but said I was more important. Again, she said I was more important. I kind of tried to brush it off, but she insisted that I was definitely more important.

So, now we wait and see. Either she says “No”, which I am expecting – and I wouldn’t blame her – or she says “Yes” and goes up with me Friday night or drives herself Saturday. Not to put too much weight on it, but that could be a totally redefining moment for the relationship. Going away somewhere for the weekend, even without meeting my parents, is a major step.

We’ll see if we actually take that step or not, but I’m really hoping we do.

Please share your thoughts, questions and opinions here. And as always, thanks for reading!