It’s Fall, So Fall Back, Right?

Hello everyone! Sorry it has been so long since my last post, but I’ve kind of been taking a break from things a little bit. I hid the ol’ Match profile, took a step back to do some self-evaluations about where I’m going, what I’m doing, and what I really want out of things. I also did a little research and self-help reading to get my motivated and in the right frame of mind.

So I don’t really have any new, wonderful dating stories to share with you at this point. But some interesting developments have taken place recently, since my last post. Like I said  … Fall back, right?

Well, for some yet-to-be-defined reason, a few boomerangs have returned. No, don’t get your hopes up, Staci was not one of them. If you don’t find that funny, then you just don’t get me. Anyway … I’ve had a few conversations with Olive over the past few months, but I think I already told you that. Nothing serious, just casual conversations about random stuff and we occasionally see each other at 5Ks and stuff. Nothing physical has happened, nor have I even entertained the thought of trying to see if she would be a FWB.

Then Naomi contacted me, right before I shut down my Match profile. I’ll be honest, I knew she looked familiar and I knew we had talked, but I wasn’t sure we had actually dated. After talking with her for a little while, I remembered, yep, it was definitely Naomi. So, we ended up hanging out one night, and then it didn’t take long to remember why things didn’t work out. She goes from 0 to 100 in a flash. After just talking for a little while, it was like we were already in a relationship. And then after hanging out one time – seriously, just one time – she acted like we were boyfriend-girlfriend. I’m not into moving that fast, thank you very much. So once again, I had to put her behind me.

Then, the craziest thing happened. I heard from Abigail. Yes, Abigail, the first, the one who “started” this whole thing. She is also the only one I never got around to writing about. Here’s why …

Abigail was the first girl I dated after my divorce (nearly 3 years ago). My thought process heading back into the dating game was that since I had been out of the scene for 7+ years, it was going to be rough at first. I figured I’d have a handful of bad dates and awkward experiences before I really started to get into finding quality women. It was kind of like kicking the rust off, if you will. I never expected to find something substantial right away.

We dated for a couple of months. We really hit it off. The only negatives I could find about her were that she still lived with her parents while trying to get herself back on her feet after her divorce and she lived more than an hour away. Not major issues, but like I said, those were the only ones I could ever really find.

She was smart, funny, easy to talk to, strong willed, and very passionate about the motorcycle group she was a part of (she would travel to the state capitol to lobby for motorcyclist rights and such), as well as becoming a nurse.

I really started to develop feelings for her. And that was the problem. She was the first girl I dated and I wasn’t comfortable with feeling that way about someone so soon. I freaked out. I panicked. Whatever you want to call it. I don’t blame her for anything that happened (especially now) because the more I look back on things, she was just doing things the way she was supposed to. We were clearly in a relationship, a sexual relationship, as well as exclusive. And she wanted that commitment from me. I remember plain as day, the time we were talking on the phone during one of her trips to the capitol, and she asked me “When are you going to girlfriend this?” It seemed a little corny, but she had every right to want to know where we stood and where things were going.

And that’s pretty much when I shut it down. Again, I panicked. I freaked out. I got scared. Whatever you want to call it.

But things are different now. I’ve evolved. I’ve grown. I’m more comfortable (and confident) with my situation, who I am and what I’m doing.

I don’t know what is going to happen from here on out with Abigail. Clearly we’ve both thought about the other over the past 2-3 years, and maybe we’re trying to see if there really is anything there, I don’t know. The downside to things now, is that she completed nursing school and works at a hospital now. The problem isn’t so much her schedule, it is the fact that the hospital she works at is even farther away and she is considering moving there.

But I’m not letting that be a deciding factor. If things work, they work, if they don’t … well, they don’t. She knows and understood my time restrictions before and was OK with them, and they’re even less now than they were then. We’ll see how it goes.

And if this doesn’t work out, then it’s about time to kick off my Holiday Hiatus again. Those who have been around now that if I don’t have a girlfriend by the time Thanksgiving roles around and kicks off the Holiday Season, I shut down dating all the way until Valentine’s Day. I am NOT looking to add the complications of the Holiday routines to a new relationship. Too much hassle and awkwardness.

Stay tuned, and always, thanks for reading.

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