End of Summer Lovin’: Justine on the outs, Georgia, Abigail and Constance

As Summer begins to wind down, so does the majority of dating activity – or at least I hope not. I tried to pack as much as I could into the short time I had while my son was on his Summer vacation. I met some real interesting girls. Some I wished could’ve worked out, some I’m glad didn’t, and others that are at least good for a good story.

Well, just as I started to think things with Justine were headed to a more serious/committed status, I get blindsided by the trust monster. She hid her Match profile because some guys were getting a little creepy (nothing new) and left it hidden while we were dating. Several times I had mentioned that I hadn’t even checked my profile since our second date, when I decided to focus on her. And my intention was not to check it – period – as long as I was still dating her, regardless of any emails, winks or other contacts I received.

This weekend, that apparently wasn’t good enough and caused a serious rift. The other night, we had said our “goodnights” and a while later I got a message after I had been asleep for a while. It was about 1 a.m. and she texted that she couldn’t sleep and was just messing around on the computer. I didn’t think much of it. Then a little bit later, I got a message going on about how foolish she felt that she had her profile hidden while I did not. It evolved (or devolved, as it may be) into a situation where I was leaving it up because I was still looking for someone better.

First, anyone who knows anything about how Match works know that you just have to look at my profile and it will tell you how long it has been since I last logged into the site, for whatever reason. So anyone could tell it had been over a week since I had last logged in. But that wasn’t good enough, nor the issue – apparently. Now comes the rub. How would she know whether or not my profile was hidden or not? Answer: she was on the site.

The glaring double-standard here was enough to cause good bit of turbulence. As I could feel my blood pressure rise as she tried to make her point as to why this was something I was doing wrong, I opted to let things rest and not address them while I was at my peak of emotion and tired. I said I would talk more about it the next day, but that wasn’t satisfactory. By the time I woke up the next day, I had about 10 more text messages and a voicemail all in variety of tones ranging from apologetic to angry and all shades in between.

So when we finally got a chance to talk about it, the common sense approach didn’t go as well as I thought it might. My opinion was, the only way she knew my profile wasn’t hidden was because she was on the site when she said she wasn’t going to be and had her profile hidden. Her excuse was that she was still receiving messages and communications from the site even though she had her profile hidden and she wanted to find out why. She did mention a few days ago that she was going to check it out, so I figured she did it then. I was also curious that she was on the site after 1 a.m. and what she actually did on the site. When she told me that she also read the messages and spent more time on the site perusing around, that was kind of the tipping point for me.

I could not, for the life of me, figure out why all of this was my fault. I even addressed the fact that we had never discussed me hiding my profile. So, for me, from my point of view, me not visiting the site was a clear and obvious commitment to her and not anyone else. And for her to accuse me of other motives while she was checking out messages on the site from other men she had been in previous contact with, seemed rather hypocritical to me.

But that wasn’t the end. As the conversation went on and I tried to state my case, she made the threat/warning/comment that if I was on the site, she would find out because women have their ways. She went on to say that she had other ways to find out if I was checking out the site and that she has friends who might check in on my profile to see what I was doing. What?? She basically just said she was going to spy on me. We’ve only been dating a couple of weeks and we are already at the spying stage? I didn’t get to that stage until the very end of my marriage.

And that wasn’t the first sign of trust issues with her. So, we had to have a little chat. I cancelled our plans for the weekend because I wanted time to process things. My plan wasn’t to call everything off and break up. But my request for space – with the promise that things would be better after a little time – wasn’t respected. Instead, I kept getting pestered, including overnight as I slept. That was when she went overboard and said she thought we were broken up. More texts and voicemails followed the next day, and it just got to obsessive. So now, we have to have another “big talk” and it is really getting to the point where I am finding it hard to see staying together.

I just can’t handle distrust so early. I understand some people are different than I am, and have an initial distrust or caution, which is understandable. But don’t automatically throw you distrust issues on me when I haven’t done anything to deserve that kind of scrutiny yet. I am the type of person where I will automatically trust you (to a certain level) from the beginning until you do something to prove otherwise.

So it doesn’t look like things will go as well as I thought they might. Then again, her reaction to our discussion about how things will be once school starts also led me to believe we might not last long after school started. But I was still willing to wait it out and see if we couldn’t work it out.

Well, with all that out there and things apparently on the outs and her still checking Match, what should I do? Yep, that’s right, I checked out Match again. And what do you think I found? Georgia was back on Match.

It was rather disheartening, mainly for the reason that I truly believed her when she told me that she thought she wasn’t ready to date again after her last major relationship. It made sense and didn’t totally catch me off guard. My response to her was that I understood and that if she changed her mind to let me know because I would really like to see her again. Before she told me that, her profile was hidden (since before our first date) because she was avoiding some creepy guys. And when I checked Match again, it showed that her profile was available again and active within the last hour (which means she was just on). I was also a little bummed because I really would have preferred things worked out with her, and not have to move onto other girls. But, what’s a guy to do?

Lastly, since I need to wrap this up, the last two date reviews I have yet to post are of Abigail and Constance. I have waited to do those until the end because both of those are not just first date reviews, they are more of a relationship review since both lasted longer than just a few dates. So I will synopsis them to encapsulate the whole relationship.

Thank you for following along, and stay tuned for more.

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Beatrice: Cute Southern drawl, but wasn’t what I ordered (Rewind)

Background: Beatrice was one of my first real communications on eHarmony. There had been Smiles (eHarmony’s version of the Wink) exchanged with other members and I had managed to make it through some levels of the 5-step gauntlet eHarmony uses before you get to actually emailing each other. But Beatrice was the first (I think) that managed to make it through the gauntlet and we actually started exchanging emails. From there we followed the script of exchanging numbers, texting and then started talking on the phone.

We found lots of things to talk about and the connection developing (via email, text and phone calls) was getting better with each passing day. And once we started talking on the phone, that’s all I wanted to do because she had the sexiest Southern drawl that I just ate up.

She was also absolutely adorable (from what I saw from her pictures). Cute as a button would have been a term I would’ve used. She had amazing blue eyes, full lips and the most gorgeous head of naturally curly bright blonde hair. She was a professional chef who worked from home quite a bit, which was interesting. We were always talking about food and cooking. Things were definitely looking up!

We tried for a few days to get together for a date before finally settling for an evening date on a night when I just got back into town from a work trip.

The Date: We decided to do the classic dinner and movie thing, except this time we were going to one of the theaters which serves food at the movies. Since she was coming from another town just to the South of me, and would pass right by my house on the way to the theater anyway, we decided she would just stop at my house and park her car and we would drive together. But on the way she texted me, with what seemed like an innocent enough message, but should have been something I really needed to take to heart. She texted me that she “felt bloated, and like a whale.”

That all became too clear when she showed up at my door. She was clearly at least, at LEAST, 25 pounds heavier than any of the pictures in her profile. Sorry, but that’s not bloated. “Bloated” does not affect your legs, face or arms. As I’ve stated before, one thing I really can’t stand is when people “lie” by posting inaccurate pictures of themselves on their profiles. After the date, I looked back at her profile and there was nothing to even remotely indicate she was heavy. Nothing! 

But, given how good our connection and conversations had been to this point, I was willing to overlook her size because she was still rather cute – but not what was I was expecting. I hadn’t totally shut down the date mentally yet. I was going to give it a chance.

On the way to the theater, and when we first arrived at the theater, the conversation was good and we were both laughing and having a good time. We even had a good chuckle when I pointed out to her that one picture she had posted on her profile showed a little bit of areola around her nipple. She didn’t believe me, so I had to show her. It was pretty funny. We got to the theater early enough that we decided to eat dinner out in the bar area outside the theaters. But that’s where things really turned south.

For some unknown reason, she kept giving our server a hard time. She would make rude comments if the server didn’t answer her questions as she was expecting, or if she thought she was taking too long, or for any number of reasons. I finally got to the point where I asked if she was OK and what that was all about. She tried to explain that she thought the service was bad, but there was nothing worth commenting on, as far as I was concerned. I thought everything was just fine.

That is what stuck under my skin for the rest of the night – how rude she was to people. She made a few other comments to other people that I thought were very unjustified, unnecessary and rude.

During the movie, we didn’t cuddle or hold hands or anything like I had originally hoped. And after the movie we had some basic conversation about the movie on the way back to my place. Once back to my place, we talked for a few minutes and even exchanged a goodnight kiss. The bittersweet part, was that the kiss was actually pretty good, but I was just too turned off at that point to let it be any sort of deciding factor as to whether I wanted to pursue anything with her.

Post date: We continued to talk for a few days after that, but I just couldn’t get the rudeness out of my head, on top of the fact that I was still a bit irked that she misled me about her photos. She knew she was doing it, otherwise why would she make the “bloated” comment right before I was to see her for the first time in person. So we never did get to a second date. But I learned a harsh reality about online dating – some people are dishonest on their profiles because they don’t think people might be interested in them otherwise. I can’t say whether or not I would’ve gone out with her if she would have posted honest pictures of herself, but being dishonest about it doesn’t make me the bad person because she was a little heavier than she let on.

In part because of this date, and a few others (including Daphne), I have come up with a little online dating theory; find the worst picture someone has posted on their profile, and that will most likely be the best representation of what they look like in person. I work with Photoshop every day at work, so I can tell when pictures are touched up, and I’ve seen a whole bunch of altered pictures on dating sites. It’s kind of disheartening.

Grade: C

Side bar: This was the only date I managed to get from eHarmony in the six months I was a paying member. I had maybe a handful of serious conversations, a couple dozen solid interactions. I am not counting every smile I received, only the ones that were reciprocated. So I wasn’t that impressed with it, especially considering the price versus Match, which is probably still my favorite and Chemistry.

The Dilemma: Back to School means major changes

We are only a matter of days away from the beginning of new school year. A new school year means lots of changes for everyone. The kids have new grades, teachers and classes to adjust to, as well as get used to getting up in the morning to go to school again. Parents have to adjust to the school routine of getting the kids ready and making sure they get to school.

It also means a major change in my dating life.

Starting next week, my son will be home from his Summer visit to his mother’s and he will be going back to school. That means a monumental shift in my dating game. My availability goes from “any time” to “rarely”. You see, I don’t have a big support network of family and/or friends who can watch my son while I go out on dates or to just have grown-up time. And with his mother living 8+ hours away, I don’t have every other weekend available like most divorced parents. My son sees his mother on average about once per month, sometimes longer. Her visits are scheduled around his long breaks from school (anything 4+ days long).

This creates some major obstacles in the dating game.

No longer can I go out any night of the week, or spend the night somewhere. Having girls over or spend the night is also out. I want to make sure a woman has serious potential before I introduce her into my children’s daily life. So this seriously limits my window of opportunity to about one or two chances per month, maybe more depending on the month.

This has already been a serious obstacle with girls I dated before my son left for the Summer. Most girls say they understand and don’t have a problem with it. Many will even say they think there is something extremely attractive about a guy who has custody of his kids and devotes so much of himself to them. But the truth soon rears its ugly head.

If I am dating a girl and we cross that certain threshold, whether it’s a certain amount of time together or physical intimacy, I do not talk to, flirt with, or entertain other women in any way. I’m talking about potential female dates, not true female friends. I am not interested in looking around once I have established myself with someone, and regardless of how much I say it or even try to demonstrate it, that usually doesn’t seem to be enough. So far, only one woman has been willing to play the waiting game for me, and that was Abigail (you will read more about her later). Things ended with her not because of my limited availability, but because it was too early in my return to dating for me to be comfortable with the boyfriend/girlfriend labels and other intimate attachments. But she wanted them and I wasn’t willing to give them to her. But (again) we will cover that later.

I had a lot more hopes for what would happen this Summer once I was free to focus all of my free time on dating and women. But alas, the Summer is nearing an end and still do not have what most would consider a real girlfriend. Justine is on the verge of that status, but since we talked about the change in my schedule once school starts, things have a been a little different with her. So I am not sure what that exactly means yet. But she is also very leery about meeting and involving the children too soon, which is something we would have to consider doing to see each other as much as we would like to.

Like I said, I don’t have a large support network her to provide me with opportunities to go out. Sure, my son will occasional have a sleepover at a friend’s house, but those are usually determined within a 48-24 hour time frame. And I am not the most comfortable about hiring a strange babysitter to watch him just so I can go out. I get pangs of guilt and selfishness when I think about doing that.

What do you think? Are my expectations too high? Or should I make more efforts to be available?

Honestly, sometimes I really think I should just drop the whole dating game all together and spend my time and money on places like Adult FriendFinder, Ashley Madison, or even something like Eros and the strip clubs. That way, I’m spending my money on attachment-free fun and not having to hassle with the constraints the dating game places on me. Otherwise it takes months worth of work just to get my basic urges met, when I already know my relationship needs will most likely not be met due to the limitations of my schedule. And no, I’m not going out to the bars looking for random bar skanks to hook up with, because the quality is not as good and it’s usually a futile effort anyway. So let’s just stick with something a little more proven. My free time is rare, and I don’t want to frivolously waste it.

Let me know what you think. And thanks for listening.

Daphne: Ruh roh, Raggy! Get the Mystery Machine (Rewind)

Background: Daphne contact me via Match and after checking out her profile, I figured it couldn’t hurt to talk to her and see what happened. We seemed to have a lot of common interests and the email conversations went very well. But I would have to admit the clincher was her height. She was 5’11” and I’m a sucker for tall women. She was fairly attractive, but her height intrigued me enough to allow me to let something like that not influence me as much.

She was a huge baseball fan, which is always bonus points for me, and a hockey fan. We would chat and text through baseball games and the hockey playoffs talking about the games, as well as other miscellaneous things. The connection was good, but not overwhelming like some others have been. She was a nurse and worked out with a personal trainer three times a week. So, maybe my expectations were a little high. We decided to get to drinks one night at a local bar in our area.

The Date: I got to the bar about 5-10 minutes before she did and grabbed a table with a clear view of the front door, so I could see her when she came in and she would be able to find me easily. We were playfully texting as she was pulling in, and I said I had to confess that I wasn’t a tall guy, that I was actually short and balding. She didn’t buy it.

But my jaw dropped when she entered the bar. I recognized her face, barely, but she was not what her pictures led me to believe. I understood she was not a petite girl, especially since she was almost 6-feet tall. That was OK with me. But the girl who walked in was twice the size of any picture she had posted on her profile. She noticed me almost as soon as I noticed her. If she wouldn’t have, I might have considered sneaking out. I have never run out on a date before, but I really thought about it this time.

I had already ordered drinks, and they arrived just as she arrived at the table. We exchanged hellos, but no hugs or anything. I don’t know if she ever caught the look on my face when I first noticed her, and I really hope she didn’t. Apparently the thought of wondering how to deal with the situation made me rather nervous.

When I get nervous on a bad date, I talk and talk and talk. Maybe it is because I am hoping something bad comes out of my mouth that turns her off, maybe it is because I was to try to rush through all of the possible topics as fast as I can in the hope that the date might end sooner, or maybe I just would rather dominate the conversation and hope nothing meaningful is exchanged.  We, or I should say I, talked about all sorts of random things and did a lot of people-watching and commenting on other people in the bar.

Her size never came up. I wanted to ask about her seeing a trainer three times a week because I wasn’t exactly sure what they accomplished, other than making her bigger. And overall I felt rather deceived. She looked nothing like her pictures, they were likely a few years old. And when that happens, I automatically feel a level of distrust because I feel like I have been lied to and manipulated just for a date.

When it finally came time for me to leave, because I had to go pick up my son, we exchanged a friendly hug goodbye after I walked her to her car. There was no kiss or any other physical contact. I am not sure if she sensed my lack of a connection with her, but I am pretty sure she figured out things didn’t go well.

Post date: After the date, I never heard from her again, nor did I try to contact her either. There was no connection, and I am usually more lenient about physical appearances, but this was just way too far outside my comfort zone.  I know it may sound shallow and superficial, but we all know there must be a physical attraction and connection as well as the other connections. Plus, like I said, it really felt a bit dishonest that she represented herself with pictures that were obviously older, and stated she was tall and athletic and toned. I have a hard time getting over initial deceptions like that.

Grade: D

Justine: The Yoga instructor with a New York state of mind

Background: Justine had a very sarcastic and sassy profile on Match that really caught my attention and made me laugh. We followed the normal Match email-to-text progression, but followed that up with numerous phone conversations. The phone conversations proved to enhance the connection exponentially as we got to know each other.

Oddly enough, part of our initial conversations included talking about issues we were having with other online dating members and our bad experiences. We discussed what ended up being the end of my courtship of Georgia, as well as her issues with guys who had adopted rather inappropriate or immature approaches to asking for a first date. One guy kept whining that he was certain she was going to cancel their date plans, and his insecurity led to a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. While another asked her if she was naked (via text) while she was getting ready for their date – which led to her promptly canceling the date. All winners, and apparently weenies, too. But enough about them.

It took a little while longer for us to actually set up an actual date. We both had conflicting dates and schedules, plus she had her children and needed to wait until their next visitation with her ex-husband. The night she was supposed to go out with the naked-comment-guy, but cancelled, I had a follow-up date with Irene. The advantage was that it bought us a few extra days of chatting and talking, which led to a very deep connection that I had not experienced with online dating in a long time.

She is self-employed as a yoga/fitness instructor. She’s about 5’8″ with a very fit body, almost like a bodybuilder’s, and a New Yorker complete with attitude, accent and Mets sticker in the rear window of her SUV.

Things were getting so good that we just had to make time to see each other. The following weekend, we both cleared our respective dance floors (I had pending plans with Irene, she had a few more options – typical).

The Date: We both decided we wanted as much time as possible on this first date. So we decided to do lunch together and then hit an amusement park. I know it sounds like an unconventional first-date, but we both like amusement parks – and the faster and crazier the rides, the better.

However, our lunch date turned out to be more of a late lunch date. We had been up talking until the wee hours of the morning for the last few days, and we were both rather worn out and tired. Her more than me. We’re not as young as we used to be. Since we were both dragging, I told her to just let me know when she was ready and we would meet. Finally we decided to meet about 2 p.m. at a trendy burger joint (not fast food). It was in her part of town and about a 30-minute drive for me. I arrived on time and when I texted her that I was there, she let me know she still wasn’t ready. Our nerves were frazzled as it was, and her running behind started to create a bit of doubt about her commitment to the date. Especially after witnessing her ability to cancel dates at the last minute with little provocation. So, I was very calm about her running behind. She was very apologetic and repeatedly mentioned how nervous she was about meeting me.

About 30 minutes later she showed up. When we finally met, she literally jumped into my arms. I guess that was a good sign.

At lunch we split a specialty burger because neither one of us wanted to be too full before we went riding amusement park rides. The conversation went very well and she was very conversational with everyone around us. She’s definitely a social butterfly. After eating we headed to the park.

She had a season pass to the amusement park and takes her kids there often. While I was purchasing my own pass into, she proceeded to buy us both VIP passes that gave us front-of-the-line access to all the rides. Yes, it was rather expensive, so I didn’t have time to intercede and offer to pay for them (as any gentleman should on a first date). I think she already figured that out and that is why she did it that way. However, I made sure I paid for all of the snacks we had while at the park.

We made sure we made the most of the VIP passes and hit all the major rides, and even hit some of our favorites several times. With each passing moment, we got more and more comfortable. We started holding hands and getting real close to each other while waiting for rides. She even put a very playful smooch on me while waiting in line for her favorite ride. (Later on she would confess she wished she wouldn’t have done that because she wanted the first kiss to be my idea and something a little more romantic.) We decided to call it a day as evening started to set in and she began to get tired.

On the way out of the park, we both said we were hungry. We decided to stop for Chinese food on the way back to her house because she wanted to relax and watch a movie together. After getting back to her house, we ate and settled in to watch the movie. I had no idea she was a fan of baseball movies ((bonus points)), so we watched “42” the new movie about Jackie Robinson.

As the movie started, I moved in for a real kiss attempt and it was a success. So much so that we were distracted several times during the movie to make out. I don’t think she objected too much considering she initiated as much as I did. Nothing else happened and I was home before midnight. So all-in-all, it was a success.

Post date: Since then we have continued to bond and talk. She invited me over again to hang out before she went to work and it appears we are both settling in for what might actually become a relationship. But we will see. These things have blown up in my face before. ((Remember Georgia?))

Grade: A

Ellen: Beautiful blonde, but maybe a bit of baggage (Rewind)

Background: She contacted me on Match with an email sounding like she was interested in me but that because of my job and her job, there might be a conflict of interest to where she wouldn’t be able to date me. I responded back clarifying the issues and it actually started a line of communication that opened us up to a potential date. There were lots of things she wanted us to do together; karaoke, go to the gun range, go horseback riding together, etc. So we decided on meeting for lunch one afternoon while she was traveling about town for her job. She was a financial consultant who worked from home, so her car was basically her office.

The only potential red flag to this point was the stalker behavior of her ex-fiance. While we were emailing, texting and talking, there were several instances where he would stalk her at Wal-Mart, or mess with her animals while she was away from the house. She has a ranch with horses and other farm animals. Yes, she’s quite country. The kind of girl who likes pickup trucks over regular cars. I tried not to let that all get in the way because everyone has issues, a little drama, and things they can’t control in their life.

The Date: We met for lunch on a Wednesday at a popular italian restaurant chain. There was a car accident two blocks from the restaurant, so my normal practice of being the first one there was thwarted. So when I arrived she was sitting in the lobby finishing up some work while she waited. She was absolutely beautiful. Natural curly blonde hair, fit but not muscular, about 5’10” in heels wearing a short, sleeveless dress. She big round eyes and large, teeth-bearing smile. Very attractive.

Since she was clearly attractive and looked even better than her profile pictures, I was definitely interested and went for the introductory hug. I don’t shake hands with a girl on a date, that just seems so cold and impersonal. She did not display any hesitation or recoil during the hug and actually seemed to reciprocate. She had an excellent ice breaker that really seemed to ease any nerves that were lingering. After the hug, the fist thing she said was “Wow, you’re short!” Considering I am well over 6-feet tall, that surely wasn’t the case. I feigned being wounded by the comment to play along, and it definitely got us both laughing.

The conversation went well during the meal, with plenty of laughs and no awkward moments. We covered the basics, sharing a bit about our pasts and kids, and such. Her husband was killed in a car accident before her 7-year-old son was born, and later she got engaged to another guy and they bought a house together. Things fell apart and she kicked him out, keeping the ranch house. But the ranch is a bit much for a single mom to manage alone, so she has lots of random help stopping by to assist. This wouldn’t be any sort of issue, except apparently it’s nothing but locals offering to help to get into her house and ask for dates. She claimed it really bugged her sometimes, but I got the sense she really liked all the attention.

We had a hard end-time for the date because she had to leave to make appointments with other clients. As we walked out, she commented on how good I smelled (which is normally a pretty good sign). I walked her to her car and we exchanged another hug goodbye. I didn’t attempt a kiss because I really liked this girl and was a bit nervous about messing it up with a possibly unwanted advance on the first date. We also made (tentative) plans for another date on Saturday, and she was going to find a babysitter for her son. She left for her appointments and everything seemed to be going well. I even got a nice text only minutes after she left.

Post date: Our conversations remained the same the rest of the week. No sign of any changes or anything. The only thing was that neither one of us mentioned the date on Saturday. I did not want to seem like I was pressing the issue, and was letting her handle it. However, on Friday, when I had not heard anything regarding plans for Saturday, I asked about them. That is when she just casually said she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.

The problem with that is I would have hoped for a little courtesy informing me of this at some point instead of waiting to the last-minute. Sure I could have brought up our Saturday plans earlier in the week, but something tells me that wouldn’t have made a difference. And when I asked about rescheduling, she was very non-committal about setting up another time. I started to get the distinct impression that she just made the date to avoid confrontation and had every intention to cancel. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.

We talked daily, like usual, for another few days before the conversation started to tail off. Then it was reduced to her returning simple replies to my texts. She would not initiate conversations and her responses were very short, direct responses and she never would ask me questions or get into full-fledged conversations. So I decided to stop communicating altogether to see her response. I’ve heard from her very very rarely. And it’s just a very vanilla “how are you doing?” type of thing that lasts about 4-6 texts before it’s over.

However, if a second chance ever presented itself, I’d definitely take it. She was a very sweet, smart, grounded and beautiful girl. How could I pass that up?

Grade: B+

Fiona: She really works out, but it didn’t work out (Rewind)

Background: Another Match date that had a quick connection with us going from Match emails to texting to dating in a relatively quick fashion. Part of that seems to be the trend of girls on the site wanting to get right to that in-person event to see if there is any connection there. There seems to be a lot of connections that are made via emails that fizzle out in person. It makes sense. These quick turnaround dates also seem to favor simple happy hour or lunch get-togethers to limit the amount of time of the first, possibly awkward, encounter. So we decided to meet at a popular happy hour bar not too far from her work.

The Date: We met at the bar for some drinks and snacks. I was only a few minutes late because I had to drive almost completely to the other side of town right in the middle of rush hour. So, the odds were against me. We started off talking at the bar and then moved upstairs onto the roof where they have more tables and a bar.

She was very beautiful in her summer dress with her hair in a pony tail because she worked out in the gym over lunch. She was about 5’9″ in heels.

She works out more than most men and has the body of a bodybuilder without actually lifting competitively. She is about 120 lbs of muscle and is very sexy about showing it off. She shared several pictures showing off her back and legs muscles, while also showing me her tattoos.

The conversation went well, though I was a little more shy than usual. I was so concerned about impressing her that it actually caused me to seem nervous around her. But I wasn’t I really enjoyed being around her. There definitely seemed to be some sort of chemistry and we started talking about making other plans. The date came to an end because she said she had to be home when her son got home from his after school job. I walked her to her car and we had a good, meaningful hug goodnight.

Post date: We talked regularly and the date didn’t seem to change our talking habits or our chemistry. She was however obsessed with asking me to send pictures of my “junk”, which I never did because it just seemed creepy. I tried to play it into something suggestive by saying if she really wanted to see it, she just needed to let me know when and where to meet her and she could see it. It never went anywhere, nor did I expect it to.

Then I went out of town one weekend. While away, I was planning to visit some high school friends that Friday night, and she said she had plans with high school friends too. We playfully talked about drunk dialing each other later in the night and having fun together on the phone. As it turned out, I didn’t go out that night because plans changed. I texted her that I was staying in, but didn’t hear anything back from her.

The next morning I woke up and saw that I had a text message from her – timestamped about 2:45am. Saying that she had met someone and wanted to see where it went, and that we couldn’t talk anymore.

My advice is to tell someone you’re not going to see them anymore BEFORE you hookup with someone else, not immediately after. Just saying.

So that was it. Until a few weeks later ….

Grade: B