It was nothing spectacular; no fireworks, no screaming and/or crying, no cheating, nothing noteworthy like that. It just died a slow death.
Not wanting to break up on or right before Mother’s Day or during her work trip, I waited until she got back. We hardly talked during her work trip and hardly spoke once she returned. When she finally called, we both knew things were just not compatible anymore. She started off by asking “Are we still dating?” and my response was “It doesn’t feel like it.”
We discussed how I was feeling about her pulling away and not showing me that she was back into the relationship – and it had been more than three months since things were any sort of “normal” between us. That is also the time when we had the conversation about me being strict and whether that would affect our long-term relationship and she blew up on a tangent.
A month later we went out with her co-workers, and it just never fault right. We really weren’t acting like a couple. She came over that night and argued about things and she stayed the night (without any sex or intimacy). The month leading up to that, I made it a point to let her know that I was still interested and wanted to be with her and spend time with her so there would be no doubt about where I stood. See the post updating this in more detail here.
Things only got worse from there. When I brought that up, she stated that she was waiting for me to make a move. I restated that it was she that pulled away, and I was waiting for a sign (ANY SIGN) showing that things were back on the mend. But nothing. There were no spikes in the relationship after that point. Our conversations became very basic and friendly. We had morphed into just friends. There were no more “I love you”s, no more “I miss you”s, nothing.
We both confessed that we had been contemplating this move for a few weeks and just couldn’t get around to actually pulling the plug.
We left it open to still eventually be friends, when she is feeling up to it (if ever). That is not how I normally deal with breakups. Normally, I just cut the anchor loose and never intend to have any further contact with it. Usually when breakups lead to “friendships” someone retains some sort of residual feelings and only maintain the relationship as a potential opportunity to get back together.
It actually went well – as breakups go. We actually civilly talked it through. But we will see how things evolve over the next few days.
And No – there isn’t another girl. At least not yet. But I will be dusting off and updating my Match profile, so there might be something on the horizon.
So stay tuned for any upcoming dating updates. And as always, thank you for reading!