Wanda Update: We Escaped the Room but Not the Monsoon

I hate when I waste my best stuff on a dead end.

OK, to be fair, I had no idea it was (going to be) a dead end when I planned my second date with Wanda, nor did I think it was a dead end as it was all happening. This is my hindsight talking.

But Date 2 with Wanda started off swimmingly (sarcasm meter is beeping). The sitter was 10 minutes late, it was a 30-40 minute drive to begin with, then for some reason all the leisurely drivers were all on the road at the same time in my way cruising along at 65 in the FAST lane. Argh! Seriously??

Well, I got where we were meeting about 20 minutes later than planned, but still in plenty of time for our activity. Wanda was sitting on a bench, killing time on her phone. As I approached, I playfully said she looked like she was waiting for someone. She responded she was. So I asked if I could join her while she waited, and she said Yes. As I sat down next to her, I put my arm around her and kind of leaned in a bit (to gauge where she was at tonight). Nothing (1). She stood up and I followed her. I moved closer to see if a hug or anything was an option. Nope (2). So I asked if she was ready for this, she said Yes, so I extended my hand to hold hands as we walked. Again, Nothing (3).

We walked a few blocks to an old warehouse. A few times during the week, she had asked what we were doing, and I refused to tip my hand. I just told her where to meet me, and wanted to keep it a surprise. I booked us in one of the Breakout or Escape rooms, where you get locked in a room for an hour and have to solve the puzzles in order to find the code to get out. Neither one of us had done it before and it sounded really fun. It was also a diabolical plan to see how well we can work together, communicate, deal with a (moderately) stressful situation, and have fun at the same time. We were teamed up with a group of 6 other people who worked together.

It took us nearly the entire hour, but we managed to solve the riddles and get out before time expired. It was really fun.

While we were waiting to start, we had to sign waivers. While I was signing my waiver, the girl at the counter was asking Wanda if she’d ever done this before. She told her she hadn’t and that this was a surprise, etc. The girl behind the counter was gushing how cool and how sweet it all was. Then when Wanda went to the bathroom, the girl asked me a bunch more questions about our date night and thought it was cool. So when Wanda came back, she was gushing even more about our night. I don’t think I could’ve planned that better, even I would have paid the girl to say those things. It was definitely big bonus points in my favor (or at least should’ve been).

While we were waiting, and during other various points of the night, I tried getting close to her, even putting my arm around her in a half-hug at one point, but it all seemed to fail or not be reciprocated. (4-9) After we finished, I went to offer to hold her hand again as we walked to the restaurant. More Nothing (10). I didn’t say anything or act put-off by it. I just rolled with it.

The place at which we ate, was rather pricey, but we each ordered the chicken and quinoa and a glass of wine. We talked about all sorts or random things. So I tried to bring up some future events I had going on, like when my son was gone to gauge her interest of doing something then. Didn’t bite. (11) I noticed on her Facebook page that she had mentioned going to see something at the theater that I also wanted to see, so I brought that up. She’s going the weekend before me with her friends, and has her kids the weekend I have tickets. No “Oh, I wish I would’ve known, I would’ve loved to go with you.” or “maybe we’ll do something else while your son is gone.” Nothing. (12)

Then the monsoon hit. Ok it wasn’t a monsoon – we don’t live on the coast – but it sure looked, felt and sounded like one. Remember the whole “Duck” thing? And the radar looked ominous. THe hostess at the restaurant came around from table to table showing everyone – it looked BAD.

So, since Wanda had to drive and hour (plus) to get home, I suggested we should probably wrap things up early so she can get somewhere safe before it gets worse. She decided to stay in town with her friend (that I mentioned she routinely stays with) instead of going all the way home. In no way was I going to offer her coming to my place. That didn’t seem right. ¬†So we called the night a little early – something I did not want to do, but felt it was the right thing. Also, as you can see, lots of warning signs were popping up, so it wasn’t like calling it early was going to kill any mood or chances.

Look, at the breakout room and as we were talking about other ideas I had had for the night, she was always making it work related. “Oh, we had talked about that at work, and I thought we should do that as a team exercise,” or “I really wanted to check that place out to see if we could hold an event there. How many people do you think it holds?” Stuff like that. Look, I don’t mind talking about work, but I want my date present there with me, in the moment. Not me planning her next work outings for her. It was like she was more focused on that than me. And then we were talking about the charity functions she has going on this weekend. Now this certain pair or group of guys always comes up in discussions about their plans. Going to baseball games, and one of the guys texting her “hey, what about me?” and stuff like that. Well, these same guys (I don’t know if they are friends, co-workers, married, single, nothing) came up in conversation last night. One of the guys set something up for them at the first charity event and said she “owed” him. So she was saying, “Fine, I’ll hold your drink for you when you go to the bathroom,” or “Fine, I’ll hold your hand if some girl tries to flirt with you.” SMH, WTF?? Why are you talking about holding some other guy’s hand when you won’t even hold mine? Got it, aye aye, message received, Captain! Moving on …

As we left I offered to get my car and pick her up at the door and drive her to her car. Like I said, it was a torrential downpour outside. She passed. She insisted on walking the block and a half to her car. So I walked her to her car. We got to her car and she put her stuff inside. She turned and gave me a very strong, lingering hug. I thought, “Ok, there was no first date kiss, so this is my last chance.” You never get the first kiss on date three, that’s like unheard of. But the moment the lingering hug lightened up, she spun and ducked in her car before I could even think about making a move. (what are we on, 13 now?) I mean I was intended to try at the beginning of the date, and now this. Stuck out.

She did the standard “I’ll let you know when I get there, and let me know when you get home,” thing. She texted me promptly when she got to her friend’s. She said she had a fun (complete with smiley face ūüôā ¬†). I asked if she wanted to do it (go out) again, no response (14). And then I didn’t hear from her all night.

After contemplating where things are going with this, I finally texted her again this morning to say “good morning” and to see if she was home yet because I knew she had early appointments back home. She said she was back home, at work, and would call me later. I’m not sure I like the “tone” of that. Maybe she’s going to tell me she definitely wants to see me again and that she really is interested in me. But I’m not holding my breath for that. Remember, I’m trusting my gut again, and it isn’t telling me any good news right now.

Look, I like her, I really do. But together, there’s little chemistry. She’s not flirty (not even texting or on the phone), lord knows I’ve tried to pull it out of her. No takers. She’s not affectionate. I’ve tried that too. She’s also not very “talkative”. I don’t hear much from her. Especially compared to other girls who have been clearly interested in me. If she’s interested in me, she has a funny way of showing it. ¬†But I’m guessing, and planning on, that she’s just not that into me. Which is totally fine. It’s not the end of the world.

It was a long distance long shot anyway. I gave it a shot. I’ll keep you updated. And as always, thanks for reading.

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Wanda: Former Fitness Model bends the dating rules in her favor

I wasn’t supposed to go out with Wanda until tomorrow night. She was coming into town for work and to catch a baseball and since she lives more than an hour away, so she’d stay with her good friend that she stays with on her frequent visits here. We really wanted to get together to meet before I went out of town for Labor Day weekend.

But today, she had the day off from work because she’s been traveling for nearly a week straight. She was telling me all of the stuff that she had to do today, including mowing and bailing her acreage. I was working from home today and playfully said I was available if she needed a playful distraction. I totally meant for her to call or text me. She immediately took it an ran with it as an excuse for us to see each other today. She prefaced it with saying she’d only be casual, with her hair in a pony tail and probably little to no makeup.

So we decided to meet this afternoon in the college town located midway between us, at a popular soda shop that sells just about every imaginable type and brand of soda (including international brands). Before I get into the date itself, how about a little background …

Wanda contacted me on Match with a fairly long, detailed message “selling” herself on why I should check her out and give her a chance, very similar to what Uma did. The main concern was her distance away from me. She lives more than an hour away, and my preferences are set to keep things rather local, because on top of my rigorous schedule with my son, having a partner living that far away only complicates the matter further. But she explained that she travels into town frequently for her job, is considering moving here, and has the flexibility with having two older kids (18 and 16) along with an 8 year old (like my son) who spends lots of time with his dad.

She also mentioned the fact that my Age parameters are set to 45 years old – and she’s 46. I’m sure that was much more of a joke, whereas the distance issue was an actual concern.

She travels frequently as an event planner/coordinator for a major bank setting up their corporate events across the country. And, yes – as I mentioned, she used to be a competitive fitness model. Something I did not learn until we added each other as Facebook friends. I don’t usually do that with dates until much later. But she mentioned it, and I ran with it. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t see a lot of potential in this one. Even more than Violet, Talia and possibly even Staci.

I know what you’re all thinking … he says that about all of them; “they have potential.” Well, they don’t make it this far if they don’t have potential. I don’t go on dates with them if I think they don’t have real potential. You don’t see the numerous women I have to go through and talk with before I find one to actually go out on a date with. As recent as this weekend, there were seven (7) girls on my radar that I was talking to off Match (texting or calling) – including Uma and Violet. Now, I’m down to only three (including Wanda), and I may not actually set dates with the other two, especially if things go well with Wanda.

She’s 5’9″ (about the perfect height for me), has a gorgeous smile and captivating brown-hazel eyes, and is just overall very beautiful. Quite possibly the most attractive woman I’ve dated, so far since I’ve been doing this site (but Talia is close, just a bit too short).

Back to the date … I showed up slightly before her and began checking out the place. Before long, she walked in and there was no mistaking it was her. It helps that she’s been sending me pictures just about every day (including today). We immediately hugged and made small talk as we checked out the store together. There was lots of brushing against each other and her standing in my personal space. There was also lots of laughter. After checking out the thousands of different soda brands, we finally settled on four very unique ones (including a chocolate covered maple smoked bacon soda) that we decided to sample together.

After purchasing our sodas (yes, of course I paid) we headed down the street to a local park where we sat next to each other on a bench in the shade. I grabbed my bottle opener out of my car, just in case they all weren’t twist tops. One by one we sampled them. I’d open them and hand them to her to drink first.  Then we would share the bottles, discussing the flavors, checking out the calories and ingredients. Though all the sodas were twist tops, and I didn’t need my bottle opener, they all weren’t easy to open. I even (unknowingly) cut my hand open. Neither of us noticed until I noticed blood on my shorts. It made for good conversation, and possibly a unique memory. Nothing like bleeding on a first date.

While sitting on the bench, she turned her body sideways on the bench to face me, and even put her leg behind (obviously touching me). When it seemed like she was actually rubbing her leg and foot against me, I put my hand on her leg to gauge her reaction. It didn’t phase her. No flinching, no pulling away, not even after nearly an hour like that. She also smiled a lot, not really at anything I said, but right at me while she was leaning in toward me. Almost like she was moving in for a kiss, but I can’t say for sure. I wasn’t about to try and be wrong. That will come tomorrow night.

The time for us to go came way too quickly. We both had to head home to pick up our kids from school. I walked her to her car and we talked about our plans for tomorrow night. Then we hugged – a lingering embrace, not just a quick hug – and she commented on how I smelled (and how she liked it).

We texted a bit back and forth tonight but nothing excessive. She still seems excited about seeing each other tomorrow night, even though it is going to be late (after 9 pm) and not very long (only 2 hours or so).

So we shall see how tomorrow goes. Check back for more updates, and as always … thanks for reading!

Update:  Since posting, her friend has an unscheduled medical procedure tomorrow (Thursday) morning, Wanda isn’t coming to town tonight, she’s coming in in the morning. So our follow-up date has been moved to next Thursday. Still being positive

Doubleheader weekend and more on deck

You know the whole “things happen for a reason” business, and the line about “when one door closes, another opens”? Staci who?

Ya, so true. It has been a crazy week. My Match profile has been blowing up this week. Granted, 75% of that has been your typical Match.com fake profiles, spam and scam accounts, which by the way is about ready to cause me to suspend my profle for a while to get away from all that. But I’ve had lots of prospects.

I had originally planned to see Uma (ok, my only 2 “U” name options were Uma and Ursula, what would you have done?) Saturday night. She’s an assistant principal at a local high school. Never married, no kids and her profile didn’t have a picture. Three strikes, right? But she contact me first with a very long, meaningful message and seems very interested in meeting me. We’ve talked over the past week a little, but she’s not like most girls on Match. I don’t hear from her very much, yet when I do she seems very interested. However, a work function came up for Saturday night so we’re going to meet for an hour or so Saturday for appetizers and drinks before her work function.

That opened the door for Violet on Saturday night. I am so relieved! I have really been wanting ask Violet out but didn’t have a window of opportunity any time soon, with my commitments with my son plus going out of town over Labor Day weekend. Violet and I have had a really good connection. She’s an accountant, mother of ¬†4, fitness buff, blonde and gorgeous. But today, we were chatting and she mentioned she’d really like to see me tonight, even though our date is just tomorrow night. So i suggested we meet for drinks this afternoon before I picked my son up from school. She said she was just in workout clothes and had her hair up in a ponytail wearing a baseball hat. I said, “So?” She agreed and we met for a little over an hour. It was really good and fun. The conversation was great, she was beautiful even in her workout clothes, though I will admit she was a little heavier than I would’ve guessed from her pictures. But that didn’t bother, I thought she still looked great. So now we have the “first date” out of the way and we’ll see each other again tomorrow night.

Now, for those who routinely follow this page, you’re probably noticing that seeing Violet today throws my naming game off. True. But I had already decided on who was Uma and Violet before making plans today, so I’m sticking with it. Deal with it, you’ll get over it.

And ironically, one of these lady’s real name is actually one I used as a pseudonym for one of the girls recently posted on here. I really try to avoid using names I might actually run into.

There are also a few other developing options. One in particular I really hope develops into something, but she is a long-distance situation, which I really try to avoid. But again, she make a serious effort to contact me and sell herself why she was worth me making an exception to my distance “rule.” But we’ll see how that develops.

So please stay tuned for more updates, and as always, thanks for reading!

Talia: Date was great but my son is only 8

By now, everyone should be familiar with my naming game for my dates. I name them alphabetically (so we’re up to “T” since I started this thing) with random, false names to easily keep track and anonymous. And yes, I do have a master list of coinciding real names, but it isn’t stored electronically anywhere in case some Chinese or Iranian hacker wants to try to blackmail me someday.

This update features Talia, a name inspired by the fact that I was watching the Rocky marathon on TV when we were really starting to get to know each other. For those wondering how that ties with Rocky, well, Adrian – Rocky’s wife – is played by Talia Shire. Ok? Moving on.

Talia is about as close to being the opposite of Staci (and many of the other girls I’ve dated recently) as you can get without actually be a dude. She’s a nurse, only 5’4″, dark hair that she has slightly tinted with a redish-purple, busty, very expressive and communicative, and light-hearted. She had been married twice before and has a 24-year-old son and a 15-year-old daughter.

She contacted me on Match and we began talking. We really hit it off quickly and spent the first few days sending countless emails and texts, along with numerous phone calls asking all sorts of questions and talking about everything imaginable. We had SO much in common it was scary. We answered just about every basic question the same, with the exception of her liking fish and me hating it, and her favorite color was Orange … and mine isn’t.

We set up a date for Thursday because she was heading out of town Friday to spend the weekend with an old friend of her’s in San Diego as part of birthday celebration. Thursday was Talia’s birthday. She was insistent that we go out Thursday (on her birthday) because her deceased twin (who passed away 2 years ago in an accident) would want her to spend her birthday doing something with someone that would make her happy [1].

Things continued to develop very well up until Thursday. Lots of talking, texting and selfies. This girl had way too many selfies of herself, and she’d send me a few every day. I mean dozens that she sent me. She was gorgeous – don’t get me wrong – but I mean a bit too many selfies of yourself if you ask me. [2]

But in the meantime, I was a bit stressed out. I was struggling to find a babysitter for my son and was on the verge of having to cancel when one of my son’s friends’ parents (who knew of my situation) invited him along to a pool party they were going to. Yay, saved! So the date was on. I didn’t share these issues with Talia, by the way.

We met for dinner and immediately upon meeting she gave me a very intimate hug. I’m all for going for an introductory hug, if the moment feels right, but this was a bit intimate and lingered. [3] Dinner conversation was great! We talked about her interest in getting married again – she definitely wanted to, but I’m just open to the idea, that’s not my goal here. We talked about past relationships, and somehow we even had things in common with our past relationships and ex’s, so we understood where the other was coming from.

After dinner, since it was her birthday, I asked if there was anything particular she wanted to do for her birthday. She didn’t have any preference. So I mentioned we should just go have drinks at this bar I like to go to that has a rooftop bar with nice cozy couches and always has sports on the TV. She’s a big baseball fan, almost as much as I am. She would text me game updates and ask questions even when I didn’t have the game on. She was on top of it more than I was. Not a bad sign.

She thought that sounded perfect, even though I threw some alternate ideas out. At the bar, on the rooftop, we found a perfect sofa lounger with a perfect view of the game. We talked about random things as well as the game. That’s when she started telling me about this guy that strung her along and messed with her, she thought they were dating but he only thought they were just friends (with benefits). [4] She even mentioned that at some point, she is pretty sure she freaked him out [7], but she wouldn’t tell me how she thinks she freaked him out. So, even though I asked this once previously, I made sure she wasn’t still hung up on this guy. You can guess I’m a bit gunshy on the whole “hung up on ex’s” thing after Staci. She insisted she wasn’t and that it wouldn’t be a problem with us. She even clutched my hand (and didn’t let go the rest of the night) and snuggled closer after I brought that up, as a way of trying to ease my concern.

Well, that was until she mentioned “the other guy.” [5]

Right about the time we set up the date, she hid her profile on Match. She mentioned it to me because she said she wanted to “focus on getting to know” me. So after our discussion, I did the same thing. I really liked her and wanted to see where things were going, and I didn’t have any other serious conversations going on at the time.

Things were going so well, I brought up seeing her again and when she was available. Being a nurse, her schedule is very odd and whacked out. The next Thursday was about the only time I could realistically have a chance of seeing her because she was working lots of weekends and I am¬†going to my brother’s over Labor Day weekend. So I said Thursday would have to do, because I wasn’t going to wait three weeks in between dates.

That’s when she brought up “the other guy.” She said that the day she met me on Match, another guy showed interest in her too, and she has been talking to both of us and she had a date set up with him on Monday (after she got back from San Diego). Needless to say that changed the tone of the whole date for the rest of the night (about the next 30-60 minutes). She insisted that she really liked me and wanted to see me again, but she was going out with this guy because she made the plans with him before she made up her mind about me and didn’t want to be rude and cancel.

Things tapered a little after that, and then around 9pm I said I needed to wrap things up because I had to go pick my son up from the sitter because it was a school night. She knew about the timing from the beginning, so this wasn’t a cop-out or anything. As we walked out, she grabbed my hand and we held hands as I walked her to her car. At her car, we said goodnight and kissed. However this wasn’t your typical first-date goodnight kiss. As soon as I went in for the kiss, she was clearly ready for it and it ended up being a long, deep, passionate type of kiss that lasted a while, not your normal easy, gentle, non-tongued kiss.

After we went our own ways, she texted me numerous times the rest of the night, just like everything was cool. But it clearly wasn’t.

Starting the next day, things clearly started falling apart. I hardly heard from her Friday.[6] I texted a few times to see if she was on her way, etc. Her responses were short and non-engaging. She said she would let me know when she landed in San Diego. She never did. I texted her later that night just to say “I hope you’re having a good time.” I’m guessing some of you are wondering why I was being kind of clingy with her about it. Well, she mentioned early on that she likes to know that her guy is thinking about her and likes to hear from him every once in a while. So I was just trying to make sure I didn’t give the impression I wasn’t interested. But I definitely wasn’t overdoing it.

Saturday was more of the same. I hardly heard from here. And when I did, it was in response to my text and it wasn’t very engaging either. Short, quick responses, then nothing for several hours (meaning like 5-6 hours). I wasn’t sweating it, but I was noting it. I was totally intending to give her her space to enjoy her time with her friend, while also still trying to maintain a level of interest with her.

Sunday was a little better. She communicated a lot more on Sunday, and actually let me know when she got back home. However I did notice she never responded to my question about Thursday. Earlier in the day,I asked her about Thursday again because I needed to make sure I could secure a sitter for Thursday. But I got no answer. After she got home, we chatted for a little bit, and I told her that after she got settled in, and had time later, we should talk about her trip because I wanted to hear how it went. I’m very partial to San Diego after living there for more than 6 years, so I wanted to hear what she did and where they went.

That’s when I got the text message saying she didn’t think we were a match. She thought I was a great guy and everything, but she doesn’t want to date anyone with kids younger than her’s. That may sound a bit odd and selfish, but to her credit, she DID have that written in her Match profile, so it’s not like it was some out of the blue thing. However, remember, SHE contacted me first on Match, and my profile also clearly states that I have an 8-year-old son that lives with me full-time.

And that was that. Just like that, it was over. In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, if you go back and look at the highlighted numbers (i.e. [1] ) you’ll see some of the warning signs that I noticed immediately and let pass, or that caught my attention later.

Moving on.

And I’ve been getting some questions asking if I have heard anything from Staci yet. NO, I have not. It’s only been a week people. I told you, after a month, maybe two, she’ll realize what a bad idea getting back with this guy was. But the more I think about it, the more I think I won’t hear from her again, and the less I think I want to. So again, moving on!

I hope you all have a good week, and as always thanks for reading! Please share this site with your friends and readers on your own blog.

Staci Update: Touching all the bases, but still no home run

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I know I read that somewhere once. OK, saying it was the worst of times is likely an exaggeration, but you get the idea; the Love Rollercoaster (The Ohio Players and Red Hot Chilly Peppers) is in full swing.

OK, last we talked, I mentioned I needed to update you on meeting Staci’s brother and sister-in-law (SIL).

Last week, Staci and I decided to just have a quiet night together. We really hadn’t had one since the night we watched Guardians of the Galaxy together. We wanted a night without concerts, movies, bars, sporting events, large crowds, driving all over and spending a lot of money. Just a night to be together.

The plan was to pick up take-out from a local Italian place, bring it back and hang out. Once we started talking about it – while she was still in the bathroom getting ready – she mentioned it was her brother’s favorite place to get food from. So she texted him to see if they wanted anything since we were picking it up. One thing led to another, and before you know it, we were on our way over there to have dinner with her brother and SIL. FYI, they only live about 5-10 minutes from Staci’s house.

It didn’t bother me that this was interfering with our alone time, because it meant that meeting family was another positive step in the relationship. So I was all for it. To keep things brief – because I have a lot of other stuff to get to – it went really well. We made easy conversation, Staci even commented afterward how I was making them laugh (which was a big bonus in my favor), and she said they really seemed to like me. Score! Now I just have to meet her sister and father (who both live in our same town).

I mentioned going over to her house a few nights ago and then we were supposed to go to a baseball game Saturday night. Then “IT” happened again. She went out Thursday with Amy to a charity golf gala – staying out much later than she really reasonably should have (but I digress) – then Friday she went out to dinner with Amy and a few of her other girlfriends.

A while back we had this conversation about me being concerned and her at least letting me know when she got home safely. But “IT” happened again. I talked to her about 7:30pm. She was on her way to meet Amy and I told her my friend cancelled plans with me, and she was all bent out of shape that he would cancel at the last minute (to go hang out with his girlfriend). See the irony there?

She said she would call me when she¬†was done. Let’s fast forward 18 hours. Yes, I8 hours. I had sent about a half dozen texts between 8pm-2am. Casual “what’s up?” texts, to something random on my mind, to eventually “what’s going on on?” and “Is everything OK?” So we had another one of THOSE nights. So, I decided to play the waiting game, a game of Chicken, if you will. Didn’t hear from her until after¬†1pm Saturday.

She still was planning on coming over. She wanted to help me start gutting my basement before I remodel it. She was admittedly hungover. She allegedly didn’t drive home, she was so drunk. So when I asked her how she got home, she said she took and cab and then had her sister drive her to go get her car. She asked me if I was still wanting her to come over. I answered with a question; “Do you want to come over?” Yes, I was being snarky. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t directly answer any questions, just basically said, “whatever you want to do.”

She came over, we didn’t clean my basement. I wasn’t in the mood. So we talked for a while instead. I explained to her how this happened another night before I had big plans for us (making dinner for her and her friends) and her excessive partying interfered. I had a fun day planned, all of which was blown out of the water because she got up so late, wasn’t ready to go anywhere, and we were running out of time before heading to the baseball game. We still had to go to her house for her to get ready before the game.

So I finally cut to the chase. I asked her if I was the only guy in the picture. A reasonable question given recent events and conversations. She quickly said yes and I didn’t get any feelings of suspicion or intentional deceit. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t any. Then she said she was still “feeling us out.” I really don’t think that’s what she meant, because “feeling us out” means she has one foot out the door and isn’t sure about “Us.” I don’t get that feeling from her. I get that she wants to take things slow, but that’s not the same as feeling things out.

So things picked up after that conversation (they always do after our little heart-to-hearts). We went to lunch and continued talking. We started talking about planning our schedules and time to see each other (now that my son is back, he wasn’t then but is now). But the big “bomb” was still to come.

She mentioned that her and Amy were planning a trip to Mexico over the Christmas/New Year’s break. I was thinking to myself, Oh wonderful, this is her way of saying ‘don’t make any plans to see me over the biggest week of the year.’¬†I was wrong! That’s when she mentioned that her and Amy were talking about Jack (Amy’s boyfriend) and I coming down to join them for a few days in Mexico.

Whoa!! Hold the phone! You’re “feeling us out” but still talking about me going to Mexico with her in December? DECEMBER, that’s 5 months from now! I don’t think you’re “feeling me out” if you’re thinking that far ahead like that. But I’m not complaining, I’m IN!

We finally made it to the game and met up with Amy and Jack, who were also there. We hopped from bar to bar at the stadium, watching the games on the screens and occasionally watching the live action on the field. It was a sold out stadium so lots of people and good people watching. It was fun.

We even had an interesting conversation about having kids as we walked through the parking lot. She totally initiated it. Talking about whether we each wanted (more) kids, starting “the clock” over with a new kid, her age and trying to have a baby. I wasn’t really expecting that, especially not yet, but I went with it just the same and it didn’t freak me out or anything.

An interesting moment that Staci found particularly intriguing was after the game when we stopped by a local restaurant for a quick bite before heading home. I really didn’t eat anything, but Staci did. Amy and Jack were there, as well as another couple. I was ready to go home, not hang out, but anyway. Near the end, they were talking about Staci’s roommate’s upcoming wedding, and how they didn’t even know when it was and Staci was going to find out. Amy – who is very loud, boisterous, and a huge diva – was going on about the open bar and wedding cake and stuff and she looked right at me and said with attitude “Sorry, I’m going to be her Plus One!” My response and reaction was simple and to the point. I cocked my head to the side with a bit of raised eyebrow and just said, “No. No. I don’t think so. That’s definitely not happening.” Staci was impressed because guys usually don’t stand up to Amy very often, enough so that she mentioned as we were driving home. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Knowing Amy and her influence, I’ll probably get the short end of the stick, but don’t think I’ll just go down without a fight. WHO takes a girl friend to a wedding when you actually have a date, boyfriend or husband? Not anyone I know (yet).

After, we came back to my house. She left her car at my house after stopping by. She didn’t want to come inside, in order to avoid any possibility of sex (still). I’m still not exactly sure why she isn’t “ready” because every indication I have is that she IS ready (which you will see in a moment), except for mentally (or maybe emotionally) for some reason. But as has happened numerous times, a simple kissing session escalated into a hot and heavy makeout session.

I won’t go into extreme detail here, but we were in my garage, up against my car “going at it” for a very long while. Several times I asked if she’d rather go inside because it was still a rather humid night out. The garage was open, but I live at the end of a cul de sac and it was after midnight, so there was no vehicle traffic passing by. By the end, her top was basically off, she had her hands (yes both) down my my pants and I had my hand in her pants. And that lasted for a while. It’s not like she stopped immediately once I reached in her pants or exposed her breasts – like she would have before. But she did eventually stop before any actual type of sex (regular or oral) happened. And then we just hugged and caressed and kissed each other for a while longer before we finally said goodnight and she went home.

After she got home and was texting me while she was in bed, another significant milestone (if you want to call it that) happened. One our way back to my house, her phone kept blowing up with text messages. She was ignoring them, and I made a comment about it being Amy (since we just left her and Jack), but I had a suspicion it wasn’t Amy. Once home, she told me it was an ex texting her while he’s drunk and she told him to stop and said it was nothing to worry about.

Here’s why it’s significant (to me) and why I believe her. She didn’t have to tell me that. Even if it was 100% nothing, she didn’t have to tell me. She could’ve left it alone and assume I thought it was Amy and never mentioned it again. But she told me. She made sure I knew the truth, and the she handled it. Again, I can’t emphasize enough, she didn’t have to tell me. Ladies, do you tell your man every time some ex or an interested guy texts you randomly? I’m guessing not. I’m guessing you think it wouldn’t be worth the effort to bring it up and have to explain it. But she did. So instead of making a big deal about how inappropriate I think it is for him to be doing that, I just said “Thank you for telling me. I really appreciate it.” I want to foster this sort of thing, not give her reasons to hide it from me, because we all know people don’t need reasons to hide things from their partners.

She’s also forwarding me emails and messages from friends about things, so things are definitely opening up. Again, I really don’t think she’s applying “feeling us out” in the correct way. She wouldn’t be this open and upfront if she was.

OK. That’s enough for today, I think 2000 words is enough. Don’t you? We have another concert on our schedule for tomorrow and then getting together with friend’s son (Max) for karaoke Thursday. So be on the look out for more updates later on in the week.

And as always, thanks for reading!

Want to ensure your new relationship fails? Post your new undying love online.

I know it has been way too long since we last talked, but life has been crazy. Finished up my semester at school, now only have one left before graduating in December, been struggling trying to find a job so I can pay the bills over the Summer but the job market sucks, been coaching my son’s baseball team this Spring/Summer, and of course things with Olive have been going well (still) – we’ve been officially together almost 6 months now.

I’m no sociologist. I’m no psychologist. My theory has not been scientifically studied (yet). But I feel I had to put my recent thoughts down for you all (or ya’ll, if you’re from the South) because one of my pet peeves reared its ugly head once again, seriously affecting a friend of mine (and someone you’ve already met).

If I’ve said it at 100 times already, at LEAST 100 times, and I know I’ll say it at least 100 times more:

NEVER POST YOUR NEW “UNDYING” LOVE ONLINE!

I hate when I’m on Twitter or Facebook and see my friends gushing about their new “soulmate” they’ve only been seeing a few days or weeks. It is almost exclusively a woman thing, but it did recently bite a male friend of mine in the butt recently.

They rant and rave, and post gooey sweet musings about love, and destiny, and soulmates, and blah blah blah. Ick!! I get especially uncomfortable when they start invoking “God” into their postings like the divine creator chose this person for them – the one they’ve been waiting for all of their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get the “honeymoon” feeling, and I have similar thoughts and wonder to myself “Could this be the one?” But that is where I differ from them. I keep it TO MYSELF. I don’t go evangelizing it everyone and anyone who will listen (or in this case read it). I am rational about it, because I have seen this script 100 times (at least), and I just keep things inside and limit my information to the public.

It’s kind of like those people who don’t tell anyone about their pregnancies until after the first trimester, just in case something would go wrong early on. I’ve been down that road, and it’s not fun.

Maybe you believe in jinxes, maybe you don’t. But this is one time I won’t risk the jinx. I have yet to see someone professing their love on Facebook and Twitter very early on in the relationship ever work. It has a FAIL rate of 100%. Of course most dating relationships end and don’t last long, but these ones always seem to have a glorious Hindenburg-type of demise.

The reason this came up, was this just happened to a female friend of mine this week. You may remember Ellen. We’ve stayed in touch and remained acquaintances/friends with most of our contact on Facebook, especially since I’ve been dating Olive.

She went on a trip to Colorado with her son, and her new boyfriend was supposed to join them there. It was a calamity of issues from the beginning. The road trip was a little too interesting for her liking, she spent her first two days there extremely sick, her car died so they (her and her son) had to walk everywhere until it got fixed, and on an on. She is very religious so every post has some sort of god-directed focus. Then the other day she posted a serious rant about what a horrible person this guy was because he ended up not going out there and pretty much left them stranded out there in Colorado and she had to try to find another way home because her car is too jacked to make it home.

I don’t know all the details behind it, but it apparently escalated to the point where HE was threatening to file a police report on her for harassment (and actually did) and more. Then of course she thanked god for pointing out what a tool and loser he was now, before it got too much farther down the road.

That is why I hate mentioning of “God” in these types of posts. Because when it implodes in epic fashion, god always gets the blame for things horribly going wrong. I’m a huge god or churchy person, but I hate when people lay their fortunes and failures solely on his shoulders like they had no responsibility in any of it.

I know relationships end every day, some even in glorious and spectacular fashion, but it is practically guaranteed that if you gush about your new love online (Facebook or Twitter) – blogs are OK, but notice I don’t gush too much just in case – it is guaranteed to fail in short and glorious fashion.

Then I have to hear all the posts about what a douche or bitch the other person was and it just gets hard to watch. However, sometimes, when both sides decide to trash each other with comments on each other’s pages, it can get real interesting real fast. Kind of like sitting on the porch of a double-wide watching the neighbors air their business in the middle of the trailer park. That’s reality TV at its best.

So, please, whatever you do, when you’re dating that new someone, feel free to share bits and pieces. But PLEASE don’t go on and on about how this person (you just met a month ago) is the love of your life, the god-sent answer to all of your prayers, and your soulmate. Save it for when you’re inviting me to your wedding a year or two down the road.

Take care and hopefully I talk to you all sooner, rather than later.

Another Dating First: Running into a past date

Hello all! I know my posts have been rare lately, but I promise things will pick up a bit more. Not because I’m expecting a lot of action or anything, because things with Olive are going very well. I’ll just be updating you on all sorts of things going on with me, Olive and everything else. But on with the show …

Saturday night, Olive and I were out on one of our rare “adult-only” dates. Her son was spending the night at a friend’s house and mine was out of town visiting his mother. We went to a Japanese steakhouse we’ve been wanting to go to for a while. We sat down around the hibachi with the other people waiting for the “dinner show” to start. While waiting, Olive noticed that directly on the other side of the table from us was someone she went to high school with. This is a lot more common than you’d think. She runs into people she knows all over the place. The guy was with his wife and kids and they never actually said anything to each other.

After our drinks arrived (sake and beers) and they took our order, Olive departed to the restroom. As I watched her walk away, I noticed someone I thought looked very familiar sitting at the table. After I did a double-take, I notice it was Constance and her kids sitting right next me. Actually, her daughter was sitting right next to me and Constance was next to her.

I don’t know if she recognized me, but neither one of us said anything to the other. It was just odd, because it has been like a year since I dated her and this is the first time I have run into any of the other girls I have dated here.

As you have probably noticed, I just posted the update of when Constance and I first dated. That’s because I’ve had it written and sitting in the draft folder for a while and since I wanted to share this story, I figured I’d better post it to give you all a little background on her.

I hope you’re all staying warm (preferably with someone special).

Come back again, and see me sometime.