Trinity: She said Yes, then said Goodbye*

Hello everyone,

I know it has been quite a while since you last heard from me. I’ve been rather busy; still trying to find a job, recovering from hand surgery, and spending a lot of quality time with an amazing woman, Trinity, whom I asked to share my life with.

I haven’t been posting about her because I felt like I might jinx things if I share them here online. But I guess that doesn’t seem to be much of an issue now. I’ll try to keep this as short as I can and update your more on her and our time together later.

Things with Trinity, as I’ll call her for numerous reasons, were going great up until about a week ago. I asked her to marry me in July and we were planning a wedding for early Spring next year. We had our wedding and reception venues reserved, and were going to book our hotel guest room contract. We had sent out the “Save the Date” notices to our friends and family. I was on cloud nine with her.

Then a week ago Thursday (10 days ago) she called me before going to bed (as she did every night) after her regular Thursday night dinner with her best friend. Out of the blue, she told me she was feeling very stressed about all of the wedding plans, to include our finances because of my lack of a job currently and her lack of income from a rental property she hasn’t had filled for months, along with other personal concerns. She said she felt rushed a little and wanted to postpone the wedding date for a while until we had things established a little better. I was totally supportive and had even told her that I had considered that us getting married next Summer right after school restarted would probably be a much better time to get married.

You see, she wanted to incorporate all of our children in the ceremony and my son gets back from visiting his mother for the summer in mid August right before school stats.

Everything had been OK since then, but she was still acting a little weird. And I was still adjusting to the news. You can’t expect her to drop news like that on me without it bothering me a little bit. Though I was supportive and understanding, the fact that the change was bothering me didn’t set well with her. And then my normal joking, flirty ways – that she originally fell madly in love with – began to annoy her. It seemed I couldn’t say much of anything substantial (especially something related to my feelings) without her getting upset or irritated.

Then Friday (2 days ago) we met for lunch and discussed things further. I started feeling much better after our talk, because she was reassuring me that she still loved me, I still made her happy, and her goal of marrying me and spending our lives together has not changed. We spent the rest of the day texting like normal. Then after her kids went to bed, she called me and dropped the bomb on me.

None of it really makes sense. Yes, we had bumps in the road just like everybody else. Yes, she likes to shut down when she gets stressed and isn’t the best communicator. But none of the issues were remotely close to “relationship killers”, hell, not even the sum total of the issues were enough to terminate a serious relationship like this.

This issues definitely seemed to be the stress of combining our households and her maintaining her free time, and a few smaller issues which we had dealt with early on that seemed to linger. But again, nothing that couldn’t be resolved or worked out.

I tried reassuring her that the wedding plans were not the priority – that her happiness was – but she insisted I was just saying that, but wouldn’t give me the chance to prove it. And several of her “issues” were easily explained away or remedied, but she made sure to say that it wasn’t going to change her mind. She finally ended it by saying she was going to return the ring to me. I reiterated that it didn’t have to be this way and we deserved more of a shot than this.

Since Friday, I have not heard from her (as I’ve mentioned). I’ve desperately wanted to hear her voice or just tell her the usual nonsensical things that transpired in my day. I’ve had to fight from texting her good morning or calling her before bed every day.

Everyone I’ve talked to says I just need to give her some time and space. If I try to reach out too soon, it will just make things worse and push her farther away. I definitely don’t want that. I hope they’re right. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

How much time? How long do I have to wait before I can reach out to her?

She still hasn’t removed me or my family and friends from her Facebook. If you knew her, you would know how serious keeping her Facebook private is to her. She only has about 35 friends and family on Facebook. She’s been on Facebook numerous times since Friday night, so if she was going to do that I figure she would’ve done it by now. I can’t help but hold onto that as a small glimmer of hope that she isn’t fully committed to terminating our relationship.

And though everyone is telling me that I will hear from her and she might come back, because they all saw how great we were together and can’t imagine someone throwing it away so hastily. I sure hope they’re right, but I’m not getting my hopes up and am doubtful I will hear from her anytime soon. That’s why I have the asterisk (*) in the headline.

I’ll definitely keep you all updated on things as they transpire – if anything does happen. In the meantime, if you have any specific questions you want me to address about in my next posts, or if you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to drop me a line. I’m especially curious to know if any of you have taken “a break” like this and how long it lasted.

And as always, thank you all for reading!

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Bella: We have all the time in the world

Following our great breakfast date, Bella spent the day working at the salon.

Now here’s the dilemma I have when she’s at work, she’s very busy with all of her regulars who will wait up to an hour just to have her cut their hair. She has almost no time to take a break or even eat lunch most days. And she asks me to send her text messages regularly because she likes to see messages from me while at work, but she rarely, if ever, has time to respond. The problem is that it is difficult to come up with stuff to say throughout the day when she doesn’t respond. It’s like coming up with one-liner after one-liner all day.

I want it to be clever and witty, and I just don’t want to say “I’m thinking about you”, or something lame like that, all day. It’s kind of stressful. But I do my best.

So Friday after she got home from work, I went to her place for a relaxing night of watching movies. She had to get up early to be at work Saturday morning for an 11-hour day at work.

I showed up while she was still getting ready after showering. She left the front door unlocked for me. So I let myself in and began setting up the movie and drinks that I brought for us. Shortly, she joined me downstairs in the kitchen while she made her dinner. We embraced and kissed for nearly the entire time her food was cooking.

Bella is clearly more demonstrative about her interest and affections for me than Ariel ever was. Which, in hindsight, reflects what I should have been reading during my time with Ariel. Bella shows her interest much  more, in how she is with me in person as well as when we’re away. Bella is already starting to use “pet names” like “babe” and “baby”, and actually compliments me. Ariel never complimented me – except once to tell me I smelled good – or ever used any sort of “pet name” or term of endearment.

We spent the evening with her wrapped in my arms, drinking cocktails and watching “The Best of Me” (yes, the same Nicholas Sparks movie Ariel wanted to see) – it was totally Bella’s choice. Of course, there was kissing – lots of kissing. But knowing she had to get up so early for such a long day, along with the fact that I was going to see her again Saturday night, I/we didn’t push the issue even though the sexual tension was very high.

I left a little after midnight as she was heading off to bed.

Saturday, however didn’t go as originally planned. She spent most of the day keeping me updated on the situation with her youngest son’s father. He hadn’t picked up his son all weekend (which starts on Thursday for him) from the father’s parents where her son was currently staying. So she had to pick him up from her ex-in-laws after she got off work.

Our plans weren’t cancelled but seriously altered. I had purchased her a simple rose bouquet for Valentine’s Day – which neither one of us really celebrates. But I definitely wanted to express my appreciation for her. So I just went over to her house for about an hour to give her the flowers and spend a little time with her.

She was already in her pajamas sitting on the couch eating dinner when I arrived. Her son  was already asleep. She was very grateful for her flowers. And we spent the short time I was there snuggling on the couch again, of course kissing again. She snuggled in very close and I stroked her hair, and she actually fell asleep on me twice. So we called the night short so she could go to bed.

The best part was when I was preparing to go and we started kissing again and she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist as she passionately and intently kissed me. The urge to carry her upstairs like that and take her to bed was difficult to fight. But that would have to wait for another night.

As we walked to the door, she apologized for having to cut the night short, hoped that I wouldn’t be mad at her for altering our plans, and offered to come stop by in between her split-shift at work Monday since I live rather close to her salon. I told her I understood, that these things happen and there was no way I could be mad at her for something like that.

That’s when she said, “Plus, we’ve got all the time in the world to see each other.” That simple comment meant so much, as she clearly meant she plans to see a lot of me and doesn’t plan on going anywhere.

Sunday I drove through bad weather to get my son (nearly a 10-hour day) while she worked nearly the same amount of time and then had to go get her boys. We didn’t talk much during the day, as I was driving in bad weather and she was working. So I asked her to call me once the boys went to bed. The last I heard from her was she was snuggling in bed with the boys watching cartoons. She never did get around to calling. She fell asleep watching cartoons with them.

Then, this morning, she informed me that her oldest son woke up with an ear ache and her youngest had a bad cough. So her mom took her oldest boy to the doctor where he got antibiotics for his ear. She never officially cancelled our time together, but I was pretty clear we weren’t going to see each other today. She decided not to work her afternoon shift so she could get the boys, after going to the gym, and take them home. I held out hope that she might decide to just swing by for a minute to say Hi. But it didn’t happen.

She hung out at her mom’s for a few hours before going home. On her way home, she said she missed me (for the first time). And SHE said it first. Once, again, that simple comment lifted all of the dark clouds that had been building during the day.

As of now, we don’t have any plans for seeing each other this week or weekend – yet. She has Tuesdays off but has her kids all day, so I’m almost certain she will stop by before work Wednesday and will see her Friday night. She has her oldest son Saturday night after work.

But I will definitely keep you all informed what happens next. And please, follow me on Twitter for more live updates, comments and posts. To get post updates, please click the “Follow” button to the right. Or post your comments and questions below.

And as always, thank you for reading!

Introducing Bella (my stylist, first offline date)

Many sayings could apply here. Sometimes you have to go off the grid. OR Sometimes you have to get back to the basics. No matter what it is, it’s ironic.

I say it’s ironic, because after all the money I’ve spent online dating, it seems meeting someone the old-fashioned way (flirting and talking with someone in public) works just as well, if not better than online.

So let’s start at the beginning. Bella is my hair stylist, my exclusive stylist. She’s also the only one my son let’s cut his hair. I can’t tell you how long it has been, definitely more than a year now, maybe close to two years.

We’ve always had good rapport and find it real easy to talk to each other. My son always walks out of the salon saying “You guys are hysterical together.” He even suggested several times that her and I date.

But there’s a problem, OK, maybe two problems. First, I have a strict policy about trying to pick up waitresses, bartenders (i.e. Zoey), Hooters girls, strippers, or any woman who makes her money interacting with men for tips – especially at her workplace. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated all of the above at one time or another, but I’ve never picked them up at their work. I’ve met them outside of work and found out they were a bartender or waitress. Well, except for strippers, I met them at the club. So sue me.

The second issue is I’m 42 and she’s 25 (birthday in June). I’m 16.5 years older than she is and she’s barely 7 years older than my older son.

But she’s funny, smart, in shape, and absolutely beautiful. And we connect so well. She also has two little boys (4 and 14 months) and is divorced.

However, back in the Summer I decided to step up my conversations with her. I made them more flirty, playful, with several comments that – even though were fairly innocent – had plenty of built-in innuendo for someone who’s looking for sexually charged comments. And that’s precisely when I also noticed her demeanor changed toward me.

Without going into too much detail (yes, this is the abridged version), we made a bet on the World Series in November. When we made the bet, she asked what she would get if she won, I said “Anything you want.” And I confirmed that several times with her during the conversation. All of this took place while she was cutting my hair. Then, when I went to pay, I asked her what I would get if I won the bet, she replied with the same thing, “Anything you want.”

It was on! I knew right there what my “prize” was going to be. I was going to have her go on a date with me.

I won the bet. We had seen each other a few times at the salon after the bet and had talked about settling it, but I was too reluctant to tell her what I wanted, for fear she would reject it. I tried getting her to tell me what she would have picked if she had won, and she wouldn’t tell me.

Then came my birthday, last month. I was in getting my haircut on my birthday, as was my son. But we were on a time crunch. Remember, that was also the night of my first date with Ariel. And Bella always has a long wait-list of guys waiting just to have her cut their hair. So I just took the first girl who was available. When I sat down in Andrea’s chair, Bella was cleaning her station and started making comments like I was cheating on her and such. I retorted with comments like clearly I wasn’t a priority in her life, etc. She saw my son there and grabbed his ticket and began cutting his hair.

We talked back and forth across the salon the entire time. Andrea and the two other stylists were getting a kick out the banter back and forth. We went into the back to wash my hair, and Bella and my son soon followed. We continued the conversations )and flirting).

When I was done getting my hair washed, Andrea noticed my tattoos on my arm which I had recently had done. She was admiring them, so I was pulling up my sleeve to show all the work that goes up my arm and onto my chest. After that, we went back to finish up in the salon. Shortly after, my son took his seat back in Bella’s chair.

He tells me that she got his shirt wet. I asked how. He said she was distracted looking at my tattoos when I was showing them to Andrea and wasn’t paying attention and got water all over the front of his shirt. So across the salon, I said (loud enough for all to hear), “Oh, so you were checking me out, huh?” She turned 50 shades of red and had to turn away to hide her face she was blushing and so embarrassed.

Right then I knew I had her. So after we were all done, I was at the counter paying Andrea for both haircuts. When we were finished, Bella already had a new client in her chair. I walked back into the salon and from across the room said, “I’m not done with you yet,” and we walked out.

About a week later, I got a weird Facebook friend request. I didn’t recognize the name or the small picture on my phone, and we had no friends in common. So I didn’t open it right away. Later that night I finally got around to opening it. Then it hit me! It was her! Bella from the salon.

She stalked me – it was so sweet. She went into her work system and pulled out my full name and looked me up on Facebook. (Now I know she debated for days whether to send me something or not.) We chatted on Messenger for a few days before exchanging numbers. We’ve talked everyday since, and I mean we’ve talked a lot.

And yes, this was all overlapping my time with Ariel. But I wasn’t sure Bella was really serious about me, or us for that matter. But then last week, with Ariel pulling away and something clearly being wrong, and Bella obviously showing showing interest in me, I started to play along with the conversation as it escalated.

It was just talking and I was fully reserving my time for Ariel, if that is what worked out. Well, coincidentally or ironically or however you want to put it, Bella said she wanted to see me this weekend yesterday – just ask Ariel was preparing to have the break-up talk with me. So we made plans. She wanted to see me for breakfast Friday, Friday night as well as Saturday night. I committed to Friday plans, holding back on Saturday until I heard from Ariel.  Obviously, I committed to Saturday once things with Ariel fell through.

We had breakfast late this morning in between her time at the gym and before she had to go to work. It was really fun, friendly and flirty. She was nervous the whole place was listening to our conversations about the bet, guys flirting with her at work, and other such nonsense. We also discussed plans for the evening. She gets off work late and has to work all day Saturday, so she wants to just chill and watch a movie at her place.

I walked her to her car and we lingered chatting for a few minutes. A nearby was getting ready to pull out of the lot. As soon as it did, I pulled her close me and we embraced at first, holding each other tighter and tighter. I released a little, allowing her to pull back just enough to make room to kiss her. It wasn’t your typical first date kiss. She even grabbed my face as we kissed for a couple of minutes, even though it seemed so much longer.

So things definitely look promising, and I will – of course – update you on the rest of our weekend together.

And as always, thanks for reading!

Wanda Update: We Escaped the Room but Not the Monsoon

I hate when I waste my best stuff on a dead end.

OK, to be fair, I had no idea it was (going to be) a dead end when I planned my second date with Wanda, nor did I think it was a dead end as it was all happening. This is my hindsight talking.

But Date 2 with Wanda started off swimmingly (sarcasm meter is beeping). The sitter was 10 minutes late, it was a 30-40 minute drive to begin with, then for some reason all the leisurely drivers were all on the road at the same time in my way cruising along at 65 in the FAST lane. Argh! Seriously??

Well, I got where we were meeting about 20 minutes later than planned, but still in plenty of time for our activity. Wanda was sitting on a bench, killing time on her phone. As I approached, I playfully said she looked like she was waiting for someone. She responded she was. So I asked if I could join her while she waited, and she said Yes. As I sat down next to her, I put my arm around her and kind of leaned in a bit (to gauge where she was at tonight). Nothing (1). She stood up and I followed her. I moved closer to see if a hug or anything was an option. Nope (2). So I asked if she was ready for this, she said Yes, so I extended my hand to hold hands as we walked. Again, Nothing (3).

We walked a few blocks to an old warehouse. A few times during the week, she had asked what we were doing, and I refused to tip my hand. I just told her where to meet me, and wanted to keep it a surprise. I booked us in one of the Breakout or Escape rooms, where you get locked in a room for an hour and have to solve the puzzles in order to find the code to get out. Neither one of us had done it before and it sounded really fun. It was also a diabolical plan to see how well we can work together, communicate, deal with a (moderately) stressful situation, and have fun at the same time. We were teamed up with a group of 6 other people who worked together.

It took us nearly the entire hour, but we managed to solve the riddles and get out before time expired. It was really fun.

While we were waiting to start, we had to sign waivers. While I was signing my waiver, the girl at the counter was asking Wanda if she’d ever done this before. She told her she hadn’t and that this was a surprise, etc. The girl behind the counter was gushing how cool and how sweet it all was. Then when Wanda went to the bathroom, the girl asked me a bunch more questions about our date night and thought it was cool. So when Wanda came back, she was gushing even more about our night. I don’t think I could’ve planned that better, even I would have paid the girl to say those things. It was definitely big bonus points in my favor (or at least should’ve been).

While we were waiting, and during other various points of the night, I tried getting close to her, even putting my arm around her in a half-hug at one point, but it all seemed to fail or not be reciprocated. (4-9) After we finished, I went to offer to hold her hand again as we walked to the restaurant. More Nothing (10). I didn’t say anything or act put-off by it. I just rolled with it.

The place at which we ate, was rather pricey, but we each ordered the chicken and quinoa and a glass of wine. We talked about all sorts or random things. So I tried to bring up some future events I had going on, like when my son was gone to gauge her interest of doing something then. Didn’t bite. (11) I noticed on her Facebook page that she had mentioned going to see something at the theater that I also wanted to see, so I brought that up. She’s going the weekend before me with her friends, and has her kids the weekend I have tickets. No “Oh, I wish I would’ve known, I would’ve loved to go with you.” or “maybe we’ll do something else while your son is gone.” Nothing. (12)

Then the monsoon hit. Ok it wasn’t a monsoon – we don’t live on the coast – but it sure looked, felt and sounded like one. Remember the whole “Duck” thing? And the radar looked ominous. THe hostess at the restaurant came around from table to table showing everyone – it looked BAD.

So, since Wanda had to drive and hour (plus) to get home, I suggested we should probably wrap things up early so she can get somewhere safe before it gets worse. She decided to stay in town with her friend (that I mentioned she routinely stays with) instead of going all the way home. In no way was I going to offer her coming to my place. That didn’t seem right.  So we called the night a little early – something I did not want to do, but felt it was the right thing. Also, as you can see, lots of warning signs were popping up, so it wasn’t like calling it early was going to kill any mood or chances.

Look, at the breakout room and as we were talking about other ideas I had had for the night, she was always making it work related. “Oh, we had talked about that at work, and I thought we should do that as a team exercise,” or “I really wanted to check that place out to see if we could hold an event there. How many people do you think it holds?” Stuff like that. Look, I don’t mind talking about work, but I want my date present there with me, in the moment. Not me planning her next work outings for her. It was like she was more focused on that than me. And then we were talking about the charity functions she has going on this weekend. Now this certain pair or group of guys always comes up in discussions about their plans. Going to baseball games, and one of the guys texting her “hey, what about me?” and stuff like that. Well, these same guys (I don’t know if they are friends, co-workers, married, single, nothing) came up in conversation last night. One of the guys set something up for them at the first charity event and said she “owed” him. So she was saying, “Fine, I’ll hold your drink for you when you go to the bathroom,” or “Fine, I’ll hold your hand if some girl tries to flirt with you.” SMH, WTF?? Why are you talking about holding some other guy’s hand when you won’t even hold mine? Got it, aye aye, message received, Captain! Moving on …

As we left I offered to get my car and pick her up at the door and drive her to her car. Like I said, it was a torrential downpour outside. She passed. She insisted on walking the block and a half to her car. So I walked her to her car. We got to her car and she put her stuff inside. She turned and gave me a very strong, lingering hug. I thought, “Ok, there was no first date kiss, so this is my last chance.” You never get the first kiss on date three, that’s like unheard of. But the moment the lingering hug lightened up, she spun and ducked in her car before I could even think about making a move. (what are we on, 13 now?) I mean I was intended to try at the beginning of the date, and now this. Stuck out.

She did the standard “I’ll let you know when I get there, and let me know when you get home,” thing. She texted me promptly when she got to her friend’s. She said she had a fun (complete with smiley face 🙂  ). I asked if she wanted to do it (go out) again, no response (14). And then I didn’t hear from her all night.

After contemplating where things are going with this, I finally texted her again this morning to say “good morning” and to see if she was home yet because I knew she had early appointments back home. She said she was back home, at work, and would call me later. I’m not sure I like the “tone” of that. Maybe she’s going to tell me she definitely wants to see me again and that she really is interested in me. But I’m not holding my breath for that. Remember, I’m trusting my gut again, and it isn’t telling me any good news right now.

Look, I like her, I really do. But together, there’s little chemistry. She’s not flirty (not even texting or on the phone), lord knows I’ve tried to pull it out of her. No takers. She’s not affectionate. I’ve tried that too. She’s also not very “talkative”. I don’t hear much from her. Especially compared to other girls who have been clearly interested in me. If she’s interested in me, she has a funny way of showing it.  But I’m guessing, and planning on, that she’s just not that into me. Which is totally fine. It’s not the end of the world.

It was a long distance long shot anyway. I gave it a shot. I’ll keep you updated. And as always, thanks for reading.

Wanda: Former Fitness Model bends the dating rules in her favor

I wasn’t supposed to go out with Wanda until tomorrow night. She was coming into town for work and to catch a baseball and since she lives more than an hour away, so she’d stay with her good friend that she stays with on her frequent visits here. We really wanted to get together to meet before I went out of town for Labor Day weekend.

But today, she had the day off from work because she’s been traveling for nearly a week straight. She was telling me all of the stuff that she had to do today, including mowing and bailing her acreage. I was working from home today and playfully said I was available if she needed a playful distraction. I totally meant for her to call or text me. She immediately took it an ran with it as an excuse for us to see each other today. She prefaced it with saying she’d only be casual, with her hair in a pony tail and probably little to no makeup.

So we decided to meet this afternoon in the college town located midway between us, at a popular soda shop that sells just about every imaginable type and brand of soda (including international brands). Before I get into the date itself, how about a little background …

Wanda contacted me on Match with a fairly long, detailed message “selling” herself on why I should check her out and give her a chance, very similar to what Uma did. The main concern was her distance away from me. She lives more than an hour away, and my preferences are set to keep things rather local, because on top of my rigorous schedule with my son, having a partner living that far away only complicates the matter further. But she explained that she travels into town frequently for her job, is considering moving here, and has the flexibility with having two older kids (18 and 16) along with an 8 year old (like my son) who spends lots of time with his dad.

She also mentioned the fact that my Age parameters are set to 45 years old – and she’s 46. I’m sure that was much more of a joke, whereas the distance issue was an actual concern.

She travels frequently as an event planner/coordinator for a major bank setting up their corporate events across the country. And, yes – as I mentioned, she used to be a competitive fitness model. Something I did not learn until we added each other as Facebook friends. I don’t usually do that with dates until much later. But she mentioned it, and I ran with it. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t see a lot of potential in this one. Even more than Violet, Talia and possibly even Staci.

I know what you’re all thinking … he says that about all of them; “they have potential.” Well, they don’t make it this far if they don’t have potential. I don’t go on dates with them if I think they don’t have real potential. You don’t see the numerous women I have to go through and talk with before I find one to actually go out on a date with. As recent as this weekend, there were seven (7) girls on my radar that I was talking to off Match (texting or calling) – including Uma and Violet. Now, I’m down to only three (including Wanda), and I may not actually set dates with the other two, especially if things go well with Wanda.

She’s 5’9″ (about the perfect height for me), has a gorgeous smile and captivating brown-hazel eyes, and is just overall very beautiful. Quite possibly the most attractive woman I’ve dated, so far since I’ve been doing this site (but Talia is close, just a bit too short).

Back to the date … I showed up slightly before her and began checking out the place. Before long, she walked in and there was no mistaking it was her. It helps that she’s been sending me pictures just about every day (including today). We immediately hugged and made small talk as we checked out the store together. There was lots of brushing against each other and her standing in my personal space. There was also lots of laughter. After checking out the thousands of different soda brands, we finally settled on four very unique ones (including a chocolate covered maple smoked bacon soda) that we decided to sample together.

After purchasing our sodas (yes, of course I paid) we headed down the street to a local park where we sat next to each other on a bench in the shade. I grabbed my bottle opener out of my car, just in case they all weren’t twist tops. One by one we sampled them. I’d open them and hand them to her to drink first.  Then we would share the bottles, discussing the flavors, checking out the calories and ingredients. Though all the sodas were twist tops, and I didn’t need my bottle opener, they all weren’t easy to open. I even (unknowingly) cut my hand open. Neither of us noticed until I noticed blood on my shorts. It made for good conversation, and possibly a unique memory. Nothing like bleeding on a first date.

While sitting on the bench, she turned her body sideways on the bench to face me, and even put her leg behind (obviously touching me). When it seemed like she was actually rubbing her leg and foot against me, I put my hand on her leg to gauge her reaction. It didn’t phase her. No flinching, no pulling away, not even after nearly an hour like that. She also smiled a lot, not really at anything I said, but right at me while she was leaning in toward me. Almost like she was moving in for a kiss, but I can’t say for sure. I wasn’t about to try and be wrong. That will come tomorrow night.

The time for us to go came way too quickly. We both had to head home to pick up our kids from school. I walked her to her car and we talked about our plans for tomorrow night. Then we hugged – a lingering embrace, not just a quick hug – and she commented on how I smelled (and how she liked it).

We texted a bit back and forth tonight but nothing excessive. She still seems excited about seeing each other tomorrow night, even though it is going to be late (after 9 pm) and not very long (only 2 hours or so).

So we shall see how tomorrow goes. Check back for more updates, and as always … thanks for reading!

Update:  Since posting, her friend has an unscheduled medical procedure tomorrow (Thursday) morning, Wanda isn’t coming to town tonight, she’s coming in in the morning. So our follow-up date has been moved to next Thursday. Still being positive

Doubleheader weekend and more on deck

You know the whole “things happen for a reason” business, and the line about “when one door closes, another opens”? Staci who?

Ya, so true. It has been a crazy week. My Match profile has been blowing up this week. Granted, 75% of that has been your typical Match.com fake profiles, spam and scam accounts, which by the way is about ready to cause me to suspend my profle for a while to get away from all that. But I’ve had lots of prospects.

I had originally planned to see Uma (ok, my only 2 “U” name options were Uma and Ursula, what would you have done?) Saturday night. She’s an assistant principal at a local high school. Never married, no kids and her profile didn’t have a picture. Three strikes, right? But she contact me first with a very long, meaningful message and seems very interested in meeting me. We’ve talked over the past week a little, but she’s not like most girls on Match. I don’t hear from her very much, yet when I do she seems very interested. However, a work function came up for Saturday night so we’re going to meet for an hour or so Saturday for appetizers and drinks before her work function.

That opened the door for Violet on Saturday night. I am so relieved! I have really been wanting ask Violet out but didn’t have a window of opportunity any time soon, with my commitments with my son plus going out of town over Labor Day weekend. Violet and I have had a really good connection. She’s an accountant, mother of  4, fitness buff, blonde and gorgeous. But today, we were chatting and she mentioned she’d really like to see me tonight, even though our date is just tomorrow night. So i suggested we meet for drinks this afternoon before I picked my son up from school. She said she was just in workout clothes and had her hair up in a ponytail wearing a baseball hat. I said, “So?” She agreed and we met for a little over an hour. It was really good and fun. The conversation was great, she was beautiful even in her workout clothes, though I will admit she was a little heavier than I would’ve guessed from her pictures. But that didn’t bother, I thought she still looked great. So now we have the “first date” out of the way and we’ll see each other again tomorrow night.

Now, for those who routinely follow this page, you’re probably noticing that seeing Violet today throws my naming game off. True. But I had already decided on who was Uma and Violet before making plans today, so I’m sticking with it. Deal with it, you’ll get over it.

And ironically, one of these lady’s real name is actually one I used as a pseudonym for one of the girls recently posted on here. I really try to avoid using names I might actually run into.

There are also a few other developing options. One in particular I really hope develops into something, but she is a long-distance situation, which I really try to avoid. But again, she make a serious effort to contact me and sell herself why she was worth me making an exception to my distance “rule.” But we’ll see how that develops.

So please stay tuned for more updates, and as always, thanks for reading!

Talia: Date was great but my son is only 8

By now, everyone should be familiar with my naming game for my dates. I name them alphabetically (so we’re up to “T” since I started this thing) with random, false names to easily keep track and anonymous. And yes, I do have a master list of coinciding real names, but it isn’t stored electronically anywhere in case some Chinese or Iranian hacker wants to try to blackmail me someday.

This update features Talia, a name inspired by the fact that I was watching the Rocky marathon on TV when we were really starting to get to know each other. For those wondering how that ties with Rocky, well, Adrian – Rocky’s wife – is played by Talia Shire. Ok? Moving on.

Talia is about as close to being the opposite of Staci (and many of the other girls I’ve dated recently) as you can get without actually be a dude. She’s a nurse, only 5’4″, dark hair that she has slightly tinted with a redish-purple, busty, very expressive and communicative, and light-hearted. She had been married twice before and has a 24-year-old son and a 15-year-old daughter.

She contacted me on Match and we began talking. We really hit it off quickly and spent the first few days sending countless emails and texts, along with numerous phone calls asking all sorts of questions and talking about everything imaginable. We had SO much in common it was scary. We answered just about every basic question the same, with the exception of her liking fish and me hating it, and her favorite color was Orange … and mine isn’t.

We set up a date for Thursday because she was heading out of town Friday to spend the weekend with an old friend of her’s in San Diego as part of birthday celebration. Thursday was Talia’s birthday. She was insistent that we go out Thursday (on her birthday) because her deceased twin (who passed away 2 years ago in an accident) would want her to spend her birthday doing something with someone that would make her happy [1].

Things continued to develop very well up until Thursday. Lots of talking, texting and selfies. This girl had way too many selfies of herself, and she’d send me a few every day. I mean dozens that she sent me. She was gorgeous – don’t get me wrong – but I mean a bit too many selfies of yourself if you ask me. [2]

But in the meantime, I was a bit stressed out. I was struggling to find a babysitter for my son and was on the verge of having to cancel when one of my son’s friends’ parents (who knew of my situation) invited him along to a pool party they were going to. Yay, saved! So the date was on. I didn’t share these issues with Talia, by the way.

We met for dinner and immediately upon meeting she gave me a very intimate hug. I’m all for going for an introductory hug, if the moment feels right, but this was a bit intimate and lingered. [3] Dinner conversation was great! We talked about her interest in getting married again – she definitely wanted to, but I’m just open to the idea, that’s not my goal here. We talked about past relationships, and somehow we even had things in common with our past relationships and ex’s, so we understood where the other was coming from.

After dinner, since it was her birthday, I asked if there was anything particular she wanted to do for her birthday. She didn’t have any preference. So I mentioned we should just go have drinks at this bar I like to go to that has a rooftop bar with nice cozy couches and always has sports on the TV. She’s a big baseball fan, almost as much as I am. She would text me game updates and ask questions even when I didn’t have the game on. She was on top of it more than I was. Not a bad sign.

She thought that sounded perfect, even though I threw some alternate ideas out. At the bar, on the rooftop, we found a perfect sofa lounger with a perfect view of the game. We talked about random things as well as the game. That’s when she started telling me about this guy that strung her along and messed with her, she thought they were dating but he only thought they were just friends (with benefits). [4] She even mentioned that at some point, she is pretty sure she freaked him out [7], but she wouldn’t tell me how she thinks she freaked him out. So, even though I asked this once previously, I made sure she wasn’t still hung up on this guy. You can guess I’m a bit gunshy on the whole “hung up on ex’s” thing after Staci. She insisted she wasn’t and that it wouldn’t be a problem with us. She even clutched my hand (and didn’t let go the rest of the night) and snuggled closer after I brought that up, as a way of trying to ease my concern.

Well, that was until she mentioned “the other guy.” [5]

Right about the time we set up the date, she hid her profile on Match. She mentioned it to me because she said she wanted to “focus on getting to know” me. So after our discussion, I did the same thing. I really liked her and wanted to see where things were going, and I didn’t have any other serious conversations going on at the time.

Things were going so well, I brought up seeing her again and when she was available. Being a nurse, her schedule is very odd and whacked out. The next Thursday was about the only time I could realistically have a chance of seeing her because she was working lots of weekends and I am going to my brother’s over Labor Day weekend. So I said Thursday would have to do, because I wasn’t going to wait three weeks in between dates.

That’s when she brought up “the other guy.” She said that the day she met me on Match, another guy showed interest in her too, and she has been talking to both of us and she had a date set up with him on Monday (after she got back from San Diego). Needless to say that changed the tone of the whole date for the rest of the night (about the next 30-60 minutes). She insisted that she really liked me and wanted to see me again, but she was going out with this guy because she made the plans with him before she made up her mind about me and didn’t want to be rude and cancel.

Things tapered a little after that, and then around 9pm I said I needed to wrap things up because I had to go pick my son up from the sitter because it was a school night. She knew about the timing from the beginning, so this wasn’t a cop-out or anything. As we walked out, she grabbed my hand and we held hands as I walked her to her car. At her car, we said goodnight and kissed. However this wasn’t your typical first-date goodnight kiss. As soon as I went in for the kiss, she was clearly ready for it and it ended up being a long, deep, passionate type of kiss that lasted a while, not your normal easy, gentle, non-tongued kiss.

After we went our own ways, she texted me numerous times the rest of the night, just like everything was cool. But it clearly wasn’t.

Starting the next day, things clearly started falling apart. I hardly heard from her Friday.[6] I texted a few times to see if she was on her way, etc. Her responses were short and non-engaging. She said she would let me know when she landed in San Diego. She never did. I texted her later that night just to say “I hope you’re having a good time.” I’m guessing some of you are wondering why I was being kind of clingy with her about it. Well, she mentioned early on that she likes to know that her guy is thinking about her and likes to hear from him every once in a while. So I was just trying to make sure I didn’t give the impression I wasn’t interested. But I definitely wasn’t overdoing it.

Saturday was more of the same. I hardly heard from here. And when I did, it was in response to my text and it wasn’t very engaging either. Short, quick responses, then nothing for several hours (meaning like 5-6 hours). I wasn’t sweating it, but I was noting it. I was totally intending to give her her space to enjoy her time with her friend, while also still trying to maintain a level of interest with her.

Sunday was a little better. She communicated a lot more on Sunday, and actually let me know when she got back home. However I did notice she never responded to my question about Thursday. Earlier in the day,I asked her about Thursday again because I needed to make sure I could secure a sitter for Thursday. But I got no answer. After she got home, we chatted for a little bit, and I told her that after she got settled in, and had time later, we should talk about her trip because I wanted to hear how it went. I’m very partial to San Diego after living there for more than 6 years, so I wanted to hear what she did and where they went.

That’s when I got the text message saying she didn’t think we were a match. She thought I was a great guy and everything, but she doesn’t want to date anyone with kids younger than her’s. That may sound a bit odd and selfish, but to her credit, she DID have that written in her Match profile, so it’s not like it was some out of the blue thing. However, remember, SHE contacted me first on Match, and my profile also clearly states that I have an 8-year-old son that lives with me full-time.

And that was that. Just like that, it was over. In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, if you go back and look at the highlighted numbers (i.e. [1] ) you’ll see some of the warning signs that I noticed immediately and let pass, or that caught my attention later.

Moving on.

And I’ve been getting some questions asking if I have heard anything from Staci yet. NO, I have not. It’s only been a week people. I told you, after a month, maybe two, she’ll realize what a bad idea getting back with this guy was. But the more I think about it, the more I think I won’t hear from her again, and the less I think I want to. So again, moving on!

I hope you all have a good week, and as always thanks for reading! Please share this site with your friends and readers on your own blog.