Staci Update: Weekend road trip was great, despite no sex

Let’s just get it out of the way, just like I said in the headline, there was no sex this weekend on our first road trip together.

I know the general consensus was that it was almost a certainty to happen, but the fact that it didn’t doesn’t really bother me very much because the weekend was still exceptionally great.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a minor kick in the Ego that things didn’t get more physical. But it wasn’t from lack of effort, I tried – boy did I try, but I didn’t push the issue or make a big deal about it when my progressive advancements were blocked aside like a hockey goalie.

But again, to emphasize, it was still a great weekend!

Last I left off, Staci mentioned the issue of us staying together in the hotel room. I had arranged for her to be able to bring her dog, who is under medication for some issues for which she just took her to the vet. And we both took our dogs with us.

On the car ride, conversations about my dog, what she was going to do during the day while I spent the day with my son until we needed to leave for the concert, etc., led to me to believe that us staying together was not really an issue any more.

Sleeping arrangements were, as expected, in separate beds. But she did – both nights and both mornings, come lay with me, snuggle and even make out for a while. And like I said, I definitely tried to progress things, but once things seemed to get to a certain point, she would come up with an excuse to do something else (like take a shower) or go back to her bed. I didn’t make a big deal about it, nor did I try to force the issue.

She clearly wants to take things – especially in that department – slow. Though, she was all about kissing and holding hands on the first date, which is actually faster than I would normally have progressed things. I am totally fine with it, as long as the relationship as a whole continues to progress forward.

We had numerous good conversations, including her perspective on some of the “issues” that I claimed I usually have in relationships, and she attributed it to them (other girls) being immature, insecure and generally more needy. She even made the comment that I’ve “been dating girls, when (I) need to date a woman.” She even expounded on how that would make me even better, and she would “expect me to step up my game” and would help with that.

The entire weekend was very intimate and affectionate. She was just as eager to initiate contact, holding, kissing, etc., whether we were alone, at the concert, or even in public.

The concert itself was great. She was latched on to or pressed up against me the entire time. However, at the end she started to feel feel faint and had to leave. The concert was outside and was very hot and humid. As she left to go sit down somewhere to the side, she said she didn’t want me to miss the end of the concert (which was just entering the encore portion). There was no way I was letting her go off somewhere alone while she wasn’t feeling good, so I followed her and stayed by her and watched the rest of the show from the side.

When the show was over, she wanted to head inside the building near the venue to get in the air conditioning while I went to find my friends that I left when going after her. We met up again shortly after by the main entrance and she was feeling a lot better. We had planned to go out for some drinks after the concert, but my friend and his girlfriend – who we rode the concert with – bailed and said they were just going to head back home.

This is where I made my mistake. Probably.

All night, things had seemingly been progressing to the inevitable climax of sex. But it was only a little after 11pm and I know she tends to prefer to hang out later than that. So I suggested going to a bar near the hotel. We went there for another 1-2 hours drinking, playing games, talking … having a good time. But when we got back to the room, she basically crashed. She took her dog outside, came back, got ready for bed and almost immediately went to bed.

Maybe I missed my window, I’m not sure. I can’t say for certain that things would have gone differently if we would’ve just gone straight back to the room instead of going out again. Did she see that as a sign I wasn’t interested? Would things have still worked out the same – ending with no sex – regardless? I don’t know, maybe, but I just have that lingering doubt in my mind that it might have been different.

Heading home was just as good, affectionate, intimate, and productive as the rest of the weekend. Lots of talking and sharing, etc. When I dropped her off at home, I lingered for a while and she seemed to be in no hurry to get rid of me. More “making out” took place, but that was it. We definitely seem to enjoy being intimate with each other. I’ve felt when a girl just tolerates making out, kissing, etc., just to avoid an uncomfortable situation. This is NOT that. Clearly!

I am definitely flirty with her and she responds to it, just as I’d hope, and even reciprocates. I also make sure to tell her how I feel about her and what I’m thinking, so there isn’t any confusion about what my intentions are. Again, she reciprocates right along with me,

I am very much attracted to her. And she seems attracted to me as well. She says she is, but more importantly, her actions definitely show it.

For as good as the weekend was, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t through some negative vibes out there. She is still very hard to read and anticipate. It does make me wonder where this is all going. When we’re together, everything is great! But when we’re apart, I don’t hear from her like I would expect to, she doesn’t say or do things like I would expect her too. It is very hard to read.

Maybe that is just her taking it slow. Maybe that is how a more confident, mature woman does things. Maybe I am used to dealing with clingy, immature “girls” regardless of how old they might be. Then again, maybe I’m not the only one she is seeing or talking to? I don’t think she talks about me to her friends. We haven’t talked about it, but that’s the feeling I get. I definitely haven’t met any of her friends – except the co-workers we met on accident at the baseball game – and have no clue if there is an opportunity coming up or not.

I know that seems like a lot of pessimism, and trust me, I could come up with more if I wanted to. But I’m trying to stay positive. Maybe she just does things differently than I am used to, and that’s the simple answer. Maybe.

But I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my time with this. As you know, I have a short window to really get to know someone when my son is gone.

I have kind of put my chips All-In here with Staci. It’s getting too late to start something new with anyone else.

But I have to be realistic with myself. So, I’m going to give it another month – until right before my son comes back – to see where it is. Two-plus months of dating (longer if you count the Match courtship) is plenty of time to determine potential commitment, right?!? If things are not more clear, and we haven’t even had sex by then, I don’t see the point in trying to prolong it, knowing the hurdles I will have to cross to make it work after he gets back.

I am more than willing to make the effort once he is back to make it work, as long as I know the commitment and mutual feelings are there.

Hopefully things clear up, get more interesting and more solidified in the next few weeks. Stay tuned, and I promise to keep you all updated.

What do you think? What are your thoughts? What do you think about this weekend not culminating in sex, as most of you expected? Where do you think this is going? How do you read into what I’m seeing? Please share!

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Staci Update: She said Yes to the weekend getaway

Today I got a little surprising news. Staci said Yes to going with me this weekend up to my parents’ for the concert. As I mentioned before, I was expecting her to say No. I can totally see that it would possibly be a big step for any relationship.

This morning she said she wanted to talk about this weekend later today. The key was noticing she ended text with a “:)”.

Then she was talking about having issues with her dog that might interfere with her being able to go. That was my second hint she was planning on going. So I said I would make sure the hotel we stayed at was pet friendly. She seemed really appreciative of that.

But it wasn’t until this evening that she called and actually confirmed she wanted to go this weekend. She decided she wanted to ride up with me Friday night, instead of driving herself. She is totally OK with me leaving her alone while I celebrate my son’s birthday Saturday.

But now that I have set up everything, my plan was we would spend the weekend at the hotel together. My thought process is that I don’t see someone committing to taking a road trip with someone – in this type of situation – without assuming we would be staying together. But that’s just me. If I stay at my parents’ and she’s in a hotel, I will barely get to see her and spend time with her, which kind of defeats the point. Right?

I guess we’ll see what happens.  And of course, I’ll keep you updated.

Ladies, what would you expect from taking a road trip with your new man, especially if you haven’t had sex yet?

Staci Update: Making Strides But The Big Test Could Be Right Around the Corner

A little over a month (and 5 dates) later, things are seemingly progressing well with Staci. Maybe the gamble is working after all. And I think it’s time to update you all on our progress, especially after throwing out a big relationship test last night.

Since my last update, we’ve been out to see “Ted 2”, she came over to my house to watch “Guardians of the Galaxy” and last night we went to a baseball game.

We didn’t do anything together over the 4th of July weekend because she already had plans to spend the weekend with girlfriends in Chicago, while I had plans to visit my brother in Dallas. That weekend trip went a lot better than the other one she took about a month ago, because this time I heard from her regularly – quite often actually.

Everything is going very well. She is almost as physically affectionate as I am. Lots of hand-holding, arms around the waist, and lots of random kissing. No making out in public, just kissing. But the “goodnight kisses” do tend to last quite a while.

And No, the evening at my house watching the movie did not end in sex. That is about the only part lacking of this whole thing.

However, a few significant events did occur last night during the baseball game. We talked quite a bit throughout the night. We only sat at our seats briefly a few times. It was raining most of the night so we decided to walk the concourse going from bar to bar inside the stadium. Today she even mentioned how much she liked that I was actually paying more attention to her than the game. Well, duh. That’s a pretty easy decision to make.

At one of the bars, we ran into two of her co-workers. She introduced me to them and I also met their wives. So, today at her office, whatever secret I may have been is out of the bag. She has also been hearing from the wives (who also happened to mention they thought I was cute) today for more details. So I guess, now, in the eyes of her co-workers, we are now an item.

But the real interesting part came when I asked her about this weekend. It is a total longshot, but I also look at it as a possible litmus test on where things stand.

I am going up to my parents’ this weekend to see my son for his birthday. As fate would have it, the concert I have been waiting for all year is also there this weekend. I already have a few friends lined up to go with me, but I wanted Staci to go as well.

I know we may not be at the “meeting parents and kids” stage yet but I still wanted her to go. I had brought it up once before a couple of weeks ago, but decided to broach the subject again at the game.

I did preface it by saying I knew it was a longshot, and was totally expecting “No” to be the answer, but wanted to ask anyway because I’d kick myself if I didn’t ask, only to find out later she would’ve said  “Yes.” Knowing she probably wouldn’t go with me on Friday, she’d likely have to drive herself on Saturday. Keep in mind it is a 4+-hour drive to where my parents live. But I offered to not only buy her ticket but to arrange for a place (hotel) for her/us to stay at up there.

She said she really wanted to go but would have to think about it because she had already committed to another event with some of her friends, but said I was more important. Again, she said I was more important. I kind of tried to brush it off, but she insisted that I was definitely more important.

So, now we wait and see. Either she says “No”, which I am expecting – and I wouldn’t blame her – or she says “Yes” and goes up with me Friday night or drives herself Saturday. Not to put too much weight on it, but that could be a totally redefining moment for the relationship. Going away somewhere for the weekend, even without meeting my parents, is a major step.

We’ll see if we actually take that step or not, but I’m really hoping we do.

Please share your thoughts, questions and opinions here. And as always, thanks for reading!

Is it wrong to ask for Christmas ideas?

This time last year, I was entering my dating moratorium for the Holidays. If I’m single, my vow is to not start a new relationship between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. It makes for awkward moments. Like what do you do on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, do you spend it together or will someone get upset if you don’t spend it together? Do you get them a Christmas gift? Is it OK not to get them a Christmas gift? What on earth do you get them for Christmas? And the same goes for my most dreaded holiday – Valentine’s Day.

But since it has been a year since Olive and I first started talking, and almost a year that we’ve been officially dating, I’m in a similar yet completely different predicament.

I’ve been trying to tell you women readers, and any women I talk to about dating, that men are really simple and not that hard to figure out. We like to keep things simple. Problems need solutions. Emotions only cloud things up. Regular sex and attention will keep a man happy and faithful. Simple stuff like that.

So when it comes time for Christmas, men are very simple. If you need an idea for a Christmas gift for someone, ask them. So that’s what I did. I asked Olive for some ideas for Christmas. She gave me this puzzled look, like I asked her her weight or if it was ‘that time of the month.’

She said she shouldn’t have to tell me what she would like, that I should “know” what she would like. That’s all fine and good, and under normal circumstances, that’s how I would operate. But I already tried that. I went over all the possibilities in my head and struck out. Nothing seemed to fit or work. So, Plan B is to just ask. In my opinion, I would much rather get a good gift, with some help, than guess and get it totally wrong. But, that might just be me.

Then she asked me to name some of her favorite things, and I nailed them. She’s a health and fitness nut, she’s addicted to Netflix, and she loves horses. She agreed that I pretty much hit the top 3. But there’s nothing in my price range this year that would work in the health & fitness department this year (and I’m not getting her a gift card to the Vitamin Shoppe or GNC). She’s already got the Netflix thing covered (obviously) and she doesn’t want anything horse related because she tries to avoid being associated as a cowgirl. So … I just had to ask.

It wasn’t until she talked to her coworkers that she finally came around to the idea. The guys at her work echoed what I had already said. They ask their wives and girlfriends because it’s better to ask and get it right then not ask and get it wrong. She she finally acquiesced and gave me some ideas.

By some, I mean two. Way to keep the element of surprise alive. It was pretty much the same scent products from either The Body Shop or Bath & Body Works. Real original. I really like gifts to be something special and meaningful. Maybe it will really mean something to her and she will love using it every day. Or maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

What are your thoughts? Not just on asking for ideas, but giving gifts in a rather new relationship.

‘Til next time … Have a great weekend and stay warm!

Another Dating First: Running into a past date

Hello all! I know my posts have been rare lately, but I promise things will pick up a bit more. Not because I’m expecting a lot of action or anything, because things with Olive are going very well. I’ll just be updating you on all sorts of things going on with me, Olive and everything else. But on with the show …

Saturday night, Olive and I were out on one of our rare “adult-only” dates. Her son was spending the night at a friend’s house and mine was out of town visiting his mother. We went to a Japanese steakhouse we’ve been wanting to go to for a while. We sat down around the hibachi with the other people waiting for the “dinner show” to start. While waiting, Olive noticed that directly on the other side of the table from us was someone she went to high school with. This is a lot more common than you’d think. She runs into people she knows all over the place. The guy was with his wife and kids and they never actually said anything to each other.

After our drinks arrived (sake and beers) and they took our order, Olive departed to the restroom. As I watched her walk away, I noticed someone I thought looked very familiar sitting at the table. After I did a double-take, I notice it was Constance and her kids sitting right next me. Actually, her daughter was sitting right next to me and Constance was next to her.

I don’t know if she recognized me, but neither one of us said anything to the other. It was just odd, because it has been like a year since I dated her and this is the first time I have run into any of the other girls I have dated here.

As you have probably noticed, I just posted the update of when Constance and I first dated. That’s because I’ve had it written and sitting in the draft folder for a while and since I wanted to share this story, I figured I’d better post it to give you all a little background on her.

I hope you’re all staying warm (preferably with someone special).

Come back again, and see me sometime.

Huge sports night and I miss it to be with Mona

I don’t miss big sporting events for just anything or anyone!

Every woman in my life knows there are certain games and events  that take precedent over everything (except child-birth, weddings, anniversaries and birthdays). I am not going shopping, out to dinner, to a friend’s house or anywhere else.

Saturday night, Alabama was playing Johnny Manziel (that little punk) and Texas A&M, my favorite team was in a crucial baseball series with playoff implications on the line, my alma mater was having its biggest rivalry game of the year, and Floyd Mayweather was fighting on pay-per-view. Normally, I’d be at a Buffalo Wild Wings trying to watch all of them at once.

However, this was the only night this weekend I was going to be able to see Mona again. So a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. If I miss these sporting events, nothing will really change. But if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity with Mona, that could be it, and I’d possible lose out on seeing her ever again.

I’ve had too much fun talking to her, and had such a great time hanging out with her the other day, I wasn’t about to risk something with that much potential.

During our conversations, it came up that she loves horror movies and no one will go with her to see them. So we talked about go to see the new horror movie, Insidious 2, and then we thought about going to the drive in where they were showing Insidious 2 and The Conjuring. I’m not much a horror movie fan, I think most of them are kind of dumb and very predictable. But I wanted to see The Conjuring and never had the chance to go see it. When she heard that, she was all about going to see The Conjuring. Well, since we decided against the drive-in because neither of us would be able to get our kids from the babysitters until after  1 a.m., I found a local theater that was still playing The Conjuring (even though it comes out on DVD in a few weeks).

I was real playful about it. I told her that if we went to see it, she had better be ready for me to latch on to her or jump into her lap when I get scared. She was playful about it in return. A pretty good sign.

We went out to eat and then to the movie. It was the oldest theater I have been in in more than 10 years. No stadium seating. The screen was small. We sat in the 3rd row just to get close enough to see it. I mean, it would have probably looked better on my TV at home. She (forcibly) bought the snacks at the theater. She knew it goes against my principles to let her pay for anything, without at least clearly stating it ahead of time.

Yes, during the early phase of dating, I won’t let a woman pay for anything on a date, unless it has been discussed before the date. I won’t let her get the check, pay for movie tickets, or anything else once we’re on a date. Now, if she wants to pay, then just say something before we go out, like “hey, I’ve got dinner tonight” or “The movie is on me this time.” Stuff like that.

During the movie, we got very close, without me actually putting my arm around her or holding hands.  She leaned into me quite a few times and then eventually just stayed that close to me.

After the movie we headed back to the restaurant where we ate, which was near the theater, because she left her car there and rode with me to the theater.  Back at the restaurant, we decided to go back in for a few drinks and talk for a while before we each had to get our kids.

She is so easy and fun to talk to. We talked about everything from our bad online dating experiences to catching up on the sports scores from the day. If I didn’t mention it before, she is a big baseball and football fan but loves all sports. So lots of our regular conversations have to do with sports, which is so cool.

On a side note, one thing we talked about was her perfume. She always smells so amazing, it’s almost distracting. In case you were wondering, she said it was Victoria’s Secret Bombshell.

When it was time to leave, we lingered in the parking lot for a while longer talking. We hugged once goodbye, and then talked some more. I am not talking a friendly hug you give to someone after an average date. I’m talking a deep hug like something you exchange after a passionate kiss (minus the actually kiss).

We started talking about when we would see each other again. She has her kids this weekend and I will be out of town. She mentioned that eventually, likely after another date or two, we might start doing things with the kids sometimes. We kicked around a few ideas, and then I said, a minimum I will go visit her for lunch sometime this week before I go out of town. Basically, we tried to figure out how to see each other this week, and next weekend we would be able to plan something because my ex will be in town visiting my son, giving me free time to spend more time with her. We hugged again (just like the first), but managed to talk for a little while longer.

This time she brought up how much she appreciated how respectful I was. She mentioned how she has only been with three lovers before and wants to take things slow. She was very put off by a guy who tried to aggressively kiss her on their first date, which she had told me previously, so I knew to kind of take it slow with her. And she said she wants to make sure the person she is with wants to be with her for her, not for the sex or whatever.

I told her that I was good with that because I saw a lot of potential with her and I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to make things work. She was very appreciative of that, and we hugged one last time. But this time seemed even more meaningful and longer than the others. It was real nice, though I do admit I really wanted to kiss her. But she said that would come – sooner than later, she promised.

We finally both departed to get our kids. Once we got home, we still chatted for a while before going to bed. Today was a great day of chatting all day through all of the football games and our team’s baseball game today. She was hanging out at her parent’s house all day with her family and kids, so it was nice to know she was making that much time for me.

Something I never discussed her was our Match online profiles because I didn’t know exactly what she thought about where we were, since it was still a little early to expect that conversation. But I had received an exceptional number of notifications from Match this weekend, so I logged onto Match to clear them out, plus a few other reasons. That’s when I noticed she had hidden or removed her profile. Normally, when someone hides their profile, it still shows up in certain areas. But her profile no longer shows up anywhere that I can find. Since I seriously doubt she blocked me, it looks like she may have completely removed her profile. I’m not exactly sure what to make of it, but it seems like a pretty good sign. But I have been wrong before.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading!

Update: Why do we always have to have “The Talk”?

I told you things would dramatically shift gears once the new school year started. And I haven’t even started my college class schedule yet. Yes, I’m about 40 and I’ll explain how that all works later, but not now. So I figured I owed you guys an update, and today would be as good of a day as any.

Things with Krystal are going well. I can’t say they’re progressing, because this type of relationship isn’t really going anywhere. It’s not like some day in the near future she is going to be someone I’m going to introduce to my family as my girlfriend, or eventually make my fiance or wife. We talk every day (texting or actual phone calls).

Today was about the third time we’ve been together in person. Today was one of those times where it was all about the sex. It went a little quicker than expected, but not because of any shortcomings on my end. She had a little embarrassing condition that she apparently didn’t realize until we had already started. It became such a distraction for her (long before I even realized it) that she started incessantly rambling on about it. It was kind of getting annoying and killing the mood.

She opted to finish things orally so we could bring this “embarrassing” situation to an end. She even nearly snuck out the door while I was cleaning up because she was that embarrassed. We talked about the fact that it was normal, I wasn’t freaked out about it, I would call her and want to see her again.

But something she mentioned after she left has really stuck with me. Basically she’s concerned about me finding and being with someone else while I’m seeing her. As she puts it, she “doesn’t like to share.” This kind of struck me funny. She’s married – happily, as she puts it – and frequents a swingers club, and is looking for friends-with-benefits. All of these indicators point to me being someone who has to be OK with “sharing” and I don’t mind – in this particular situation – because I know what it’s all about. I know what I’ve got myself into, and that’s fine.

However, I don’t understand how that translates to me not being able to see other people. I totally get her feelings that once I start an intimate physical relationship with another girl that she doesn’t want to share. Then again, if I was at the point with a girl where I would be ready to begin an intimate relationship, I would definitely end the relationship with Krystal first. There is no way I would try to start a relationship with a new girlfriend with my swinging side-piece in my back pocket. That’s just not right.

But as soon as I started to question what she meant about the whole “sharing” thing, she shut it down, saying she was just being emotional because she recently changed some medication she was taking and was adjusting to it. Red flag??

Inception occurred.  The thought about having “The Talk” began to grow in my brain like a fertilized egg splitting cells until it becomes an embryo. And when that happens, that’s when you need to have “The Talk.” My philosophy has always been; once you have the thought that you should have “The Talk,” that’s when you should have “The Talk.” Don’t wait for some sign from god, or some major event that pushes you over the edge to talk about whatever it is that’s on your mind. It’s the same advice I tell people when they ask me about having “The Talk.” If you have the conversation early, there is always a chance to remedy the situation before it becomes a point of no return.  And the longer you wait, the more you will push it off and procrastinate until you are faced with a situation where you are backed into a corner and have to fight your way out. That leaves only one outcome, blood, guts and a bad breakup.

I need to get this straightened out now before things get any more involved. And this weekend has been interesting. I’ve had a major family function this weekend and not been as readily available to talk and text. So of course, I get the messages asking if I’m mad at her, if she said something or did something to upset me, and all that business.  She wants to meet tomorrow for coffee as a first attempt to “make up” for the other day.

I’m going to meet her, but I’m not as into it as I would’ve been a few days ago. She has been a little clingy this weekend, which is a bit of a turnoff, regardless of the situation and circumstances. And remember when I said that with my luck, the minute I started things off with Krystal, a relationship-worthy girl would present herself. I’m not saying that has exactly happened, but I have been talking with another girl and things are going well.

I definitely want to start dating this new girl, Lola, but we haven’t got to a point where we’ve actually set a time for a first date. It will most likely be this weekend (if at all). So I definitely need to get things straightened out with Krystal beforehand.

In a normal situation, I’m not even talking to other girls once we’ve been on a few dates and especially after having sex. But this isn’t a normal situation. In this particular situation, I’m a side-piece, and not a paid side-piece, so exclusivity is kind of a foggy no-man’s-land. Hence, the reason for “The Talk.”

Even though I despise “The Talk,” I guess it’s inevitable in every relationship. Just as inevitable as that first time you go into the bathroom after your boyfriend/girlfriend and they didn’t use the air freshener. You know it’s coming one day, you just hope it isn’t that bad when it does.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks for reading. And have a great week dating out there!