The End might be near, contemplating pulling the plug

Olive and I have been together over a year now. But things have been really odd over the last month or so.

Because of her work schedule, she wasn’t able to travel with me for Christmas with my family and I was gone over week. We had a good stretch of days (and nights) together in between Christmas and New Year’s. But then illness struck.

My son returned home from his mother’s with the flu, so we kept our distance to ensure she or her son didn’t get sick. But once that cleared up, her son had strep throat, keeping us apart a bit longer. Things looked to clear up and she was supposed to travel with me to go spend the extended MLK weekend at my parents’ while I visited my oldest son.

Well, days before our trip, her son came down with a bad stomach virus which altered his plans to spend his normal weekend with his father, thus interfering with Olive’s ability to go with us for the weekend.

I tell you all of that boring background information to show that we’ve been missing a lot of time we would normally spend together over the past month or so. She was finally able to come over on Wednesday night, per usual, and I had been mentioning it all week that I was looking forward to seeing her Wednesday because it had been over two weeks since I last saw her.

But all week, she didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm. And then when she got to my house Wednesday, I was being more affectionate than usual because I hadn’t seen her in over 2 weeks. But she didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm and seemed almost bored or annoyed to be there.

On top of that, her attitude over the last couple of weeks has also been that of annoyance and disinterest. That worries me.

She has explained to me several times that when she is in a relationship and doesn’t feel things are progressing the way she thinks it should, she starts to pull away. I’m concerned that might be the case here.

The final straw was her reaction to me seeing the American Sniper movie today. I saw it this afternoon while my son was in school. She has expressed interest in seeing and every time I tried to find a way for us to see it together, she poo-poo’s it and says “you might as well just go see it without me, since we’ll never find a way to see it together. I’ll just have to see it when it comes out on RedBox or something.” There were possible options available, but she didn’t really ever want to hear them.

When I told her I was at the movie, she said she didn’t want to talk about it because “it was another reminder of another thing we can’t do together.”

We have had discussions numerous times about not being able to do things together because of her schedule with her ex, and his knack for bailing on his weekends, on top of my schedule with my ex. So there are few windows of opportunity for us to do things alone without involving sitters and such.

The Rub is; when we do have time together and i offer to do stuff, she says “we don’t always have to do something.” Even after I explain that she complains about not having chances to do stuff together.

And you women wonder why men have the opinion of women: “Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.”

So I think it’s time to have a heart-to-heart about this. I’m tired of getting the “bad boyfriend” vibe from her all the time. And if she’s starting to have those feelings of wanting out, then it’s time to just pull the plug and move on. I’m not staying in a relationship just to be in a relationship. Especially when the sex is this infrequent.

What do you think? And again, thanks for reading!

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Is it wrong to ask for Christmas ideas?

This time last year, I was entering my dating moratorium for the Holidays. If I’m single, my vow is to not start a new relationship between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. It makes for awkward moments. Like what do you do on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, do you spend it together or will someone get upset if you don’t spend it together? Do you get them a Christmas gift? Is it OK not to get them a Christmas gift? What on earth do you get them for Christmas? And the same goes for my most dreaded holiday – Valentine’s Day.

But since it has been a year since Olive and I first started talking, and almost a year that we’ve been officially dating, I’m in a similar yet completely different predicament.

I’ve been trying to tell you women readers, and any women I talk to about dating, that men are really simple and not that hard to figure out. We like to keep things simple. Problems need solutions. Emotions only cloud things up. Regular sex and attention will keep a man happy and faithful. Simple stuff like that.

So when it comes time for Christmas, men are very simple. If you need an idea for a Christmas gift for someone, ask them. So that’s what I did. I asked Olive for some ideas for Christmas. She gave me this puzzled look, like I asked her her weight or if it was ‘that time of the month.’

She said she shouldn’t have to tell me what she would like, that I should “know” what she would like. That’s all fine and good, and under normal circumstances, that’s how I would operate. But I already tried that. I went over all the possibilities in my head and struck out. Nothing seemed to fit or work. So, Plan B is to just ask. In my opinion, I would much rather get a good gift, with some help, than guess and get it totally wrong. But, that might just be me.

Then she asked me to name some of her favorite things, and I nailed them. She’s a health and fitness nut, she’s addicted to Netflix, and she loves horses. She agreed that I pretty much hit the top 3. But there’s nothing in my price range this year that would work in the health & fitness department this year (and I’m not getting her a gift card to the Vitamin Shoppe or GNC). She’s already got the Netflix thing covered (obviously) and she doesn’t want anything horse related because she tries to avoid being associated as a cowgirl. So … I just had to ask.

It wasn’t until she talked to her coworkers that she finally came around to the idea. The guys at her work echoed what I had already said. They ask their wives and girlfriends because it’s better to ask and get it right then not ask and get it wrong. She she finally acquiesced and gave me some ideas.

By some, I mean two. Way to keep the element of surprise alive. It was pretty much the same scent products from either The Body Shop or Bath & Body Works. Real original. I really like gifts to be something special and meaningful. Maybe it will really mean something to her and she will love using it every day. Or maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

What are your thoughts? Not just on asking for ideas, but giving gifts in a rather new relationship.

‘Til next time … Have a great weekend and stay warm!