Staci Update: She said Yes to the weekend getaway

Today I got a little surprising news. Staci said Yes to going with me this weekend up to my parents’ for the concert. As I mentioned before, I was expecting her to say No. I can totally see that it would possibly be a big step for any relationship.

This morning she said she wanted to talk about this weekend later today. The key was noticing she ended text with a “:)”.

Then she was talking about having issues with her dog that might interfere with her being able to go. That was my second hint she was planning on going. So I said I would make sure the hotel we stayed at was pet friendly. She seemed really appreciative of that.

But it wasn’t until this evening that she called and actually confirmed she wanted to go this weekend. She decided she wanted to ride up with me Friday night, instead of driving herself. She is totally OK with me leaving her alone while I celebrate my son’s birthday Saturday.

But now that I have set up everything, my plan was we would spend the weekend at the hotel together. My thought process is that I don’t see someone committing to taking a road trip with someone – in this type of situation – without assuming we would be staying together. But that’s just me. If I stay at my parents’ and she’s in a hotel, I will barely get to see her and spend time with her, which kind of defeats the point. Right?

I guess we’ll see what happens.  And of course, I’ll keep you updated.

Ladies, what would you expect from taking a road trip with your new man, especially if you haven’t had sex yet?

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Olive Update: So much for being on a break

So much for being on a break, huh?

I can’t believe it has been more than a month since my last post on Christmas Eve. I apologize for that, but things have been 50 shades of busy and crazy. The Spring semester of college has started (only one more semester left after this), I’ve started looking for a job to get me through the Summer, my son and I are getting ready for baseball season, and things with Olive have been going very well.

I guess that’s what I should probably update you all on, since that’s pretty much the only reason you read this.

This update won’t be as much of a date night play-by-play as the others, but more of a encapsulated overview. And I’ll try to make it short and sweet since a lot has happened since my last post.

Olive and I met literally on New Year’s Day, after more than a month of emailing and talking. The Holidays really got in the way of us finding time to meet. My Match subscription ended at the end of December, and as I stated previously, I was done dating for a while and was going to take a break.

Maybe I should have quit and given up sooner, because once I did, Olive entered the picture and totally blew me away. She had to in order for me to forego my Holiday Hiatus.

She’s a sweet, blonde, country girl with a rock-hard body because she is crazy into fitness and works out every day. She may look small but she’s all muscle which makes her surprisingly heavier than you’d expect. She has a son about the same age as my little guy, and they get along famously. Yes, at this point, we’ve met each others’ kids and they’ve met each other.

Things started off real slow and easy, due in part to scheduling issues, but once we started seeing each other, it became more and more regular and with greater frequency. At this point, she’s over every Wednesday when her son is spending time with his father, and pretty much all weekend whether she has her son or not.

Things were going so well with her, I was more cautious trying not to mess things up. It took several visits together before we actually kissed and then much longer before we actually slept together. Then again, my schedule with my son probably played a big part in that because I don’t have a lot of free nights with him around and we’re not having “adult sleepovers” with him in the house.

For the first time since starting this dating journey, I’m actually willing to call someone my girlfriend and start to make plans for things more than just a week or two out. Like my son is very excited to go to her parent’s farm where all of her horses are, which we are putting on hold until the weather gets better. Freezing temps and snow don’t make horseback riding very enjoyable. We’ve also signed up for some running road races together. So, that’s a good sign she’s willing to do that and I’m not freaking out about it.

And yes, we have plans for next weekend, but NOT on Valentine’s Day – per se. We might be together, but not making any plans or going out. Go figure, the one holiday I was most trying to avoid with a new girlfriend, and here I am, caught in the trap.

This weekend I’ll post the update about the conversation with my ex-wife when I told her about Olive. Just reinforces why I’m glad I’m not with her anymore.

I hope you’re all staying warm and not buried in too much snow.

Til later!

The Experiment continues, we go swinging for the fences (pt. 2)

OK, just remember you all asked for the sequel to my last post. I really hope I can do this story justice.

I left off after we decided to get together this weekend for some fun, dancing, drinking, and other such shenanigans. Then this story took off like my typical driver shot off the tee at the golf course. I thought I crushed it and it looked pretty – straight, strong and true – then at the apex of its flight, you see the turn signal blinking right before it takes a sharp left hand turn into the rough or the water. Something that looked so promising ends up totally different from I expected. So with that…

I told you Krystal’s husband knew about me and was OK with me, because he has his girls on the side. They’re very open about things like that. So open about it, they are members of the local swingers club.

We were kicking around ideas about what we were going to do Saturday night; everything from a movie to going dancing and all sorts of options in between. But she couldn’t decide.

In the meantime, she’s telling me how she’s been talking to this guy who wants to swing with her and her husband (of course his wife is included in the deal). She doesn’t like this guy, doesn’t want to be with him, and he’s trying to convince them to go to the swingers club Saturday. She’s getting mad because apparently this guy is rather dominant over his wife (and rather abusive as well) and she’s really not digging how he’s talking to her or his wife. So she is totally set against going to the club with them this weekend, or anytime.

Finally, it’s Saturday afternoon and we still haven’t decided on what to do. She is planning on meeting me at my house about 7 p.m. and we’ll figure something out from there. Right at 7 p.m. I get the phone call, “How would you like to go with us to the swingers club?”

My first reaction is to freak out a bit. Not because it’s a swingers club, because I’ve been to a couple in my day – not what you think, it’s a whole different story, if you really want to know, I’ll tell you offline – but because it’s our first real date, I haven’t personally met her husband yet and even though she says he’s cool with me, I’m going to show up at the swingers club and all that entails and expect everything to be cool? Not so sure. But I play it cool and say I’d meet them there.

She sends me the instructions on how to get there. And trust me when I say this place is a nondescript old warehouse out on the edge of town practically in the middle of nowhere. It’s at the end of a long dirt road that winds through the trees with no lights until you round the corner and see the yellow lights of the parking lot. I seriously was waiting to hear dueling banjos playing on the wind.

Krystal said it was a t-shirt and jeans type of place. I was a little more dressed up than that because the other similar clubs I’ve been to were more fancy types of places – suit or sport coat. When I got there, she was right. Jeans everywhere, and coolers. I had not idea this was a BYOB establishment. OK, my expectations were being shattered left and right.

I met them at the front door. It was Krystal and her husband Ken, and Ken’s co-worker Aaron and his wife Jennifer. This was Aaron and Jennifer’s first time at a club like this. Ken is a bit taller than me and a little bigger. He’s an amateur MMA fighter when he’s not working construction. Aaron is kind of  an average looking Joe – not fat, but not fit either, but his wife Jennifer was hot – way hotter than you would expect to be with him.

I hit it off with everybody right away. I’m just easy like that. Ken was really cool about it all and showed us around the club. We took a booth right off the dance floor, and then he showed us the lounges and the private rooms (do I need to explain what these are for?). So we sat down in the main room at our booth and broke out the drinks. I stuck to the rum & cokes, the other guys had beer, the girls started off with grapefruit & vodka (oh my, talk about gross), but they soon switched to the rum & cokes.

Let me paint a picture for you. It is corset night. Most of the women are wearing some sort of corset or bustier. The average age in this room is easily 40 if not higher. It is definitely an older crowd, most of them in their 50s to 60s. Some women were classy about their attire, while others sported the more risqué “convertible corset” which let the boobs hang out exposed to the world. Others were wearing nearly nothing, and what was there was hanging on for dear life with fishing line, tape or magic. While the guys were in jeans, and regular shirts, nothing fancy or dressy. I might have been the best dressed guy there.

We had a great time. Ken and I were talking like two guys hanging out at a football game together. Aaron was included too, but he was a little distracted worrying about the other guys “vulturing” his wife. His wife was hot, did I mention that? She was clearly in the top 5% of women there. Then again she was only 28, quite possibly the youngest one there.

Most of the night, Ken was the 5th wheel. Krystal was all over me, which became easier to handle as the night went on, and Aaron and Jennifer were hanging onto each other for dear life. Finally Ken’s girl showed up. This isn’t his normal, regular girlfriend. This is another girl he’s been hanging around with recently. Krystal is not a big fan of hers – because she’s cute with a small body and she sees her as competition. It was apparent. So much so, that Krystal hooked him up with the wife I mentioned earlier who was married to the real dominating guy (but he didn’t show up at the club that night). And when I say hooked up, yes I mean they went to one of the rooms and got it on. This girl was NOT attractive at all. By my standards, maybe a 4. I won’t get into details, but I would never hook up with her.

So Krystal thinks things are good, girl # 2 (Sarah) is apparently out of the picture, or so she thought. The night is winding down, the girls have been dancing together, and us guys were just sitting around talking about girls (other ones that were there, too) and drinking and having a merry old time. A little while later, we’re all sitting in the booth, and Krystal slides a condom into my pocket and says for me to follow her.

We make our way to a back room and she puts me down on the couch before shutting and locking the door. Things progress pretty quickly – as you can imagine they have to with other people waiting. But you really don’t want to get completely naked in a place like that because you have no idea what went on in that room right before you. Things were going real good – I mean real good. But then she heard some people talking loudly outside the door and we both heard someone mention Krystal’s name and saying something about hurrying it up. So we decided to wrap things up at that point, but by no means were either of us “finished” but we had been in there a while.

Once we got dressed and opened the door, there standing right in the doorway was Ken and Sarah (girl #2). Let’s just say that didn’t go over very well with Krystal. I tried to defuse the situation, with a light “you two kids have fun” comment. We went back to our booth and waited for a while. We danced and talked. But then she pulled Jennifer aside and they talked for a while, then she finally decided to go stop Ken and Sarah in the room. But they were done by the time she got back there. Cutting to the end, it was a source of contention between them (Ken and Krystal) for the rest of the night that he still ended up hooking up with Sarah. I spent most of the night hanging out with Aaron and Jennifer, even coaxing Jennifer out the dance floor a few times. You thought I was going to say I coaxed her into a back room, didn’t you? I thought about it. Ha!

Overall, the night ended well. Ken was still real cool with me, we all went our separate ways, and the next day I talked to her like everything was cool. She still wants to see me more. Can you blame her? I’m irresistible. And Ken is still cool with me. Apparently I get brought up in conversations at home and he asks when I’m hanging out them next. That part is still real hard for me to get used to. I’ve been the “other guy” before, but the main guy never knew about me, and sometimes I didn’t even know about him. This is way different.

There is so much more I could tell here, but this is already my longest post by far. If you want to know more, just ask me, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know (except real life names and places). And as my luck would have it, no sooner do I go out with her, and my Match and other profiles started blowing up on Sunday. Go figure. It’s just my luck.

Stay tuned for more. Thanks for reading.

Make the first time about her, you will be rewarded over & over again

This is for all the guys out there who happen to read this – Listen up!!

It is very apparent women are very dissatisfied with the effort they are getting from the men they date. How do I know this? I listen to them.

That’s Tip #1. Listen! It’s so stinking simple, yet so many guys think they are witty enough, good-looking enough, or rich enough (gag!) to skate by without really listening to what their date has to say. We all know the “cliché” that women want a guy who actually listens to them. But it’s more than that. They want a guy who listens to them, but who will also take what they have heard and use that information to treat them the way they want their men to treat them. Because generally they are complaining about past relationships and what went wrong. Take that information, use it and don’t make the same stupid mistakes. Some guys aren’t getting the memo.

I’m getting a little sidetracked here, but the point is, if you listen, what I am about to tell you will be so much easier.

Tip #2 (it’s almost tip #1, but without #1 there is no #2): When presented with the rare and precious opportunity of that first sexual experience – make it ALL about her!!

Most guys, when presented with the opportunity, regardless of how long it took them to get there – 2 dates or 2 months – get so excited at the sight of boobs and a naked woman, they give into their animal urges and turn it into a Discovery Channel episode. News flash: she wants the love scene from The Notebook, not Mating Practices of African Wildebeests.

Now if you have been paying attention to what she has been telling you, I’m pretty sure she has hinted at what she disliked during past physical relationships. For example, I had a girl tell me all she wanted from her man was for him to just take control and just have his way with her sometimes (memo noted), and some other simple things that I could NOT believe her past boyfriends did not do for her, that were basic practice for me. It seemed too easy.

But when that moment comes, bury every selfish urge you have to dominate her and finish the race first. This is the one time when finishing first will cost you the race. Make it all about her!!

Caress her, lightly running your fingertips all over her body. Don’t just start groping at her breasts, gently tickle them around the nipples almost teasing her. Everything needs to be gentle and sensuous. Hit all the sensual erogenous zones (nape of the neck, ear lobes, soft sides of the breasts, a few inches below the bellybutton, the insides of her thighs, etc.). Work your way from the ear lobes down.

If she gives you a distinct sign she really enjoys something, like sucking on or play-biting her nipples, linger there for a while before moving on. And make sure you are paying attention to her body language so you know what she likes, what she REALLY likes, and what she doesn’t like. It will make things so much easier. Don’t ruin it all by missing the cue she doesn’t like something. End, obviously, with the oral sex. Make sure it is soft and gentle. It’s not like licking a bunch of stamps. Think of it more like kissing. Keep it soft, sensual, know when and how to use the tongue, and most importantly, vary the speed and intensity. Sometimes you want to go fast and light, other times you want slow with more pressure. There are some good resources to help teach you the best ways to please a woman “down there”, but my best advice is to watch some lesbian pornos. Watch and learn. Or just ask your woman what she wants.

Do NOT let her start “working” on you until she has at least one orgasm. If you can manage it, try to keep as much of your clothing on as possible and maximize her number of orgasms before getting your turn. It is almost my personal guarantee, that if you can do this, she will undress you faster than you have ever seen before in your life. She will take care of you with a passion and vigor you never would have seen otherwise.

But best of all, she will REMEMBER it and think about it – and think about it some more. And the next time she has the chance to have sex with you, you will receive carryover from the first time and it will be another vigorous round of love-making. But don’t stop pleasing her! I can’t stress that enough. Just because you took care of her the first time, doesn’t mean your work is done. You have to keep taking care of her needs.

My first rule of sex is to make sure she gets off first. There are very few exceptions to this rule, but some do exist and most of them hinge on her controlling the situation. If you can do that, AND listen to what she tells you before, during and after sex, you will never lose her because your sex life is bad. She may leave you for other reasons, but the bedroom game won’t be one of them.

But so many men are so selfish they screw it all up. If you don’t believe there’s any truth to what I’m saying, have your woman read this. But be careful, I am not responsible for what she does after that. And I have no idea how she got my phone number.

Good luck!