For starters, I was going to wait until tomorrow to post an update on things with Ariel, but changes in circumstances have freed me up to write an update today.
She called a bit ago to tell me she’s sick – “throwing up sick”. However, she has not officially cancelled all of our plans, she just wants to see how she feels and sounds optimistic we’ll still see each other tonight. However, it remains to be seen how much of our plans remain in tact. We were originally going to watch “The Best of Me” (Nicholas Sparks, chick flick), I was going to make chicken flatbread pizzas (she doesn’t like red meat) and then watch the Super Bowl together.
So, on with the update.
This week was full of major dating milestones. I picked her up at her office for lunch earlier in the week. She invited me up to her office to meet her friends/co-workers. We even waited around for her cubemate to get back from lunch so I could especially meet her. That’s a pretty big step. Intentionally introducing me to friends and co-workers isn’t something you do with just some casual date. Sure, it happens when you might run into someone you know while you’re out on a date, but this was intentional. To top it off, the first thing she did once we stepped into her office was kiss me, a serious kiss not just a peck. That surprised me somewhat. After the last time I dropped her off at her office and she was a little concerned about showing too much PDA at the office, I never expected to kiss her there, I figured that would wait until we go to the car. So that was another pleasant surprise.
After we had lunch and she returned to her office, she was texting that all of her co-workers we all raving about me. Several of them even commented on how good I smelled – which was literally the first thing Ariel said when we first met. They asked what I wore because they wished their men smelled that good. I refused to share my secret and told her I didn’t want other guys walking around smelling like me, especially ones she knew. Playfully of course.
Ariel is not a very flirty, or complimentary. She doesn’t use pet names or anything like that, or even say “babe or baby”. That’s totally fine. Which is why when she does say things like she’s excited to see me the next time, or calls me wonderful, or whatever, it really resonates. She’s not like others who jump into things like “I love you” too early.
Things all week were very positive, nothing questionable. Conversations and texts were solid, fun and enjoyable. She even called me one night because she was working on the Match profile for her good friend’s 22-year-old son. OK, ya, I was like why is a 22-year-old on Match? Turns out he’s a little nerdy (plays video games and Magic the Gathering) and has never been kissed (or had sex obviously) at age 22. So he’s trying to find somebody. So she asked me for help and advice on putting his profile together. First thing, this kid’s expectations were out of whack. In his present state, he’s looking for a 20-something supermodel. OK, who isn’t? Dial down the expectations into the realistic zone there, son. I thought that was a positive sign, involving me in this thing she was doing.
Then Friday, we were going out with her best friend in the world, Darma. No pressure at all, right? She had plans for Saturday with all of her sisters and girlfriends coming over to her house, so Friday was my night.
We met up at this quaint little place they both like to frequent. We talked about everything from my son, my military background and even that I am a gun guy. Darma was just so enthralled, continuous saying that her fiance and I would get along so well. They were making plans for us all to go to their favorite winery together, among other plans for all of us – like date nights at the range.
At one point, Ariel dismissed herself to go to the bathroom. You know, the old “I’m leaving for the friend to ask the tough questions” routine. As soon as Ariel was out of ear-shot, Darma started in. They were all pretty tame and straightforward, I didn’t have any problems with answering them. We even discussed how my ex-wife and Ariel’s ex-husband are so similar, and how Darma “hates” her ex. The only question I struggled with was the question about my feelings for Ariel. I didn’t want to say too much, but wanted to definitely convey I was very interested in her. I was in the middle of trying to explain something when Ariel returned, so we stopped in the middle.
You see, the majority of people who know me (friends, family and colleagues) will refer to me frequently using such words as stoic, robot, emotionless, and intimidating because I don’t talk a lot and am very quiet. Now, I have no problem socializing, but I’m generally very quiet. I warned Ariel about this from day one. However, I haven’t shut up from the moment I met her. People also know I never smile. I always hear complaints about pictures because I will smirk, but never smile. But my face hurts after all the smiling I do around her. She just brings that out of me. I can’t explain it any better than that.
So a little while later, Ariel brought up my not talking and not smiling, playfully calling me a liar because she has no idea what I’m talking about because she’s never seen this side of me. I even warned her I’d probably be nervous and quiet around Darma. Again, I wasn’t. So I playfully jabbed back about airing all of my business out to her friend the first time she met me.
That’s when Darma asked me about me allegedly being quiet and not smiling. I told her I could provide a laundry list of people who could back up my story, especially my ex-wife (who to this day attacks me for never showing her much affection when we were together, but I didn’t tell her that part) who could easily confirm I’m an emotionless robot, and never smile.
Then she asked me to explain why I’m not that way now. As we discussed it, I basically repeated something to the effect of “I don’t know, I really can’t explain it” while subtly pointing at, or glancing at Ariel while I said, to suggest it has something to do with how I feel when I’m around her. I really wish I could recall exactly how the conversation went in order to properly convey it.
But when the conversation was over, she was in tears – good tears. We wrapped up dinner and went our separate ways. Darma gave me a big hug and said she was glad to meet me and we’ll all have to get together soon. I think I passed the BFF test.
After, we went to see “The Choice” (yes another Nicholas Sparks chick flick) and then back to her house. It had to be an early night because she had a major workout session early Saturday morning at the gym.
I was fully intending to just walk her to her door and head home, I didn’t want to try to push things when she made it clear she needed to go to bed early. But she invited me in for a while. We talked for a while and I checked out her paintings. She’s a painter, a very good one. I was really impressed.
But then we started kissing heavily. After a while, I suggested that I wasn’t going to leave, she was going to have to kick me out if she wanted me to go. We kissed more. Again, I said, look if I don’t leave soon, we’re going to be up very late and she wouldn’t be happy in the morning. We kissed even more. However, I was looking for any sort of sign for something more, but never got it. No suggestive touching, no leaning, angling or moving back toward the bedroom, and definitely no more overt gestures of grabbing my hand and leading me in that direction. As much as I wanted to drag her into the bedroom, I just couldn’t help but think it wasn’t the right time and definitely didn’t want to spoil things by moving too fast for her.
That brings us to today. Last night, she had her friends over and she was up past midnight drinking Crystal Light vodkas (dangerous) and eating pizza (regular pizza, not healthy pizza), which both seem to be the contributing factors to her feeling ill. I know it all too well. Once I started eating healthier, any fast food or junk food (especially KFC) made me feel totally ill.
And I don’t think she’s using it as an excuse not to see me. I know some people do that. But she at least called me to tell me and explain, so I could hear her voice as she told me. Not just texting it. She’s also called a few times to update me. She still talks as though she’s hoping to better so I can come over at some point. If she was just trying to use it as an excuse to cancel, she would’ve cancelled right away.
So hopefully today is not a total loss. I bought all the supplies for dinner tonight and a few other things, and would hate to see all of that go to waste. She definitely sounds like she feels genuinely bad for altering our plans. I’m not too upset, but I am definitely disappointed.
Our next scheduled time together is next Saturday, but I’m sure we’ll see each other at least once before then, probably for lunch during the week. And if she does cancel tonight, I get the feeling she’ll ask to make it up to me tomorrow night.
I’ll keep you posted. I guess it’s a good thing I posted today and didn’t wait until tomorrow. This was long enough.
And, as always, Thanks for reading!!
p.s. please follow along on Twitter as I will post some more causal updates along the way, instead of waiting for a big post update like this.