Justine: The Yoga instructor with a New York state of mind

Background: Justine had a very sarcastic and sassy profile on Match that really caught my attention and made me laugh. We followed the normal Match email-to-text progression, but followed that up with numerous phone conversations. The phone conversations proved to enhance the connection exponentially as we got to know each other.

Oddly enough, part of our initial conversations included talking about issues we were having with other online dating members and our bad experiences. We discussed what ended up being the end of my courtship of Georgia, as well as her issues with guys who had adopted rather inappropriate or immature approaches to asking for a first date. One guy kept whining that he was certain she was going to cancel their date plans, and his insecurity led to a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. While another asked her if she was naked (via text) while she was getting ready for their date – which led to her promptly canceling the date. All winners, and apparently weenies, too. But enough about them.

It took a little while longer for us to actually set up an actual date. We both had conflicting dates and schedules, plus she had her children and needed to wait until their next visitation with her ex-husband. The night she was supposed to go out with the naked-comment-guy, but cancelled, I had a follow-up date with Irene. The advantage was that it bought us a few extra days of chatting and talking, which led to a very deep connection that I had not experienced with online dating in a long time.

She is self-employed as a yoga/fitness instructor. She’s about 5’8″ with a very fit body, almost like a bodybuilder’s, and a New Yorker complete with attitude, accent and Mets sticker in the rear window of her SUV.

Things were getting so good that we just had to make time to see each other. The following weekend, we both cleared our respective dance floors (I had pending plans with Irene, she had a few more options – typical).

The Date: We both decided we wanted as much time as possible on this first date. So we decided to do lunch together and then hit an amusement park. I know it sounds like an unconventional first-date, but we both like amusement parks – and the faster and crazier the rides, the better.

However, our lunch date turned out to be more of a late lunch date. We had been up talking until the wee hours of the morning for the last few days, and we were both rather worn out and tired. Her more than me. We’re not as young as we used to be. Since we were both dragging, I told her to just let me know when she was ready and we would meet. Finally we decided to meet about 2 p.m. at a trendy burger joint (not fast food). It was in her part of town and about a 30-minute drive for me. I arrived on time and when I texted her that I was there, she let me know she still wasn’t ready. Our nerves were frazzled as it was, and her running behind started to create a bit of doubt about her commitment to the date. Especially after witnessing her ability to cancel dates at the last minute with little provocation. So, I was very calm about her running behind. She was very apologetic and repeatedly mentioned how nervous she was about meeting me.

About 30 minutes later she showed up. When we finally met, she literally jumped into my arms. I guess that was a good sign.

At lunch we split a specialty burger because neither one of us wanted to be too full before we went riding amusement park rides. The conversation went very well and she was very conversational with everyone around us. She’s definitely a social butterfly. After eating we headed to the park.

She had a season pass to the amusement park and takes her kids there often. While I was purchasing my own pass into, she proceeded to buy us both VIP passes that gave us front-of-the-line access to all the rides. Yes, it was rather expensive, so I didn’t have time to intercede and offer to pay for them (as any gentleman should on a first date). I think she already figured that out and that is why she did it that way. However, I made sure I paid for all of the snacks we had while at the park.

We made sure we made the most of the VIP passes and hit all the major rides, and even hit some of our favorites several times. With each passing moment, we got more and more comfortable. We started holding hands and getting real close to each other while waiting for rides. She even put a very playful smooch on me while waiting in line for her favorite ride. (Later on she would confess she wished she wouldn’t have done that because she wanted the first kiss to be my idea and something a little more romantic.) We decided to call it a day as evening started to set in and she began to get tired.

On the way out of the park, we both said we were hungry. We decided to stop for Chinese food on the way back to her house because she wanted to relax and watch a movie together. After getting back to her house, we ate and settled in to watch the movie. I had no idea she was a fan of baseball movies ((bonus points)), so we watched “42” the new movie about Jackie Robinson.

As the movie started, I moved in for a real kiss attempt and it was a success. So much so that we were distracted several times during the movie to make out. I don’t think she objected too much considering she initiated as much as I did. Nothing else happened and I was home before midnight. So all-in-all, it was a success.

Post date: Since then we have continued to bond and talk. She invited me over again to hang out before she went to work and it appears we are both settling in for what might actually become a relationship. But we will see. These things have blown up in my face before. ((Remember Georgia?))

Grade: A

Ellen: Beautiful blonde, but maybe a bit of baggage (Rewind)

Background: She contacted me on Match with an email sounding like she was interested in me but that because of my job and her job, there might be a conflict of interest to where she wouldn’t be able to date me. I responded back clarifying the issues and it actually started a line of communication that opened us up to a potential date. There were lots of things she wanted us to do together; karaoke, go to the gun range, go horseback riding together, etc. So we decided on meeting for lunch one afternoon while she was traveling about town for her job. She was a financial consultant who worked from home, so her car was basically her office.

The only potential red flag to this point was the stalker behavior of her ex-fiance. While we were emailing, texting and talking, there were several instances where he would stalk her at Wal-Mart, or mess with her animals while she was away from the house. She has a ranch with horses and other farm animals. Yes, she’s quite country. The kind of girl who likes pickup trucks over regular cars. I tried not to let that all get in the way because everyone has issues, a little drama, and things they can’t control in their life.

The Date: We met for lunch on a Wednesday at a popular italian restaurant chain. There was a car accident two blocks from the restaurant, so my normal practice of being the first one there was thwarted. So when I arrived she was sitting in the lobby finishing up some work while she waited. She was absolutely beautiful. Natural curly blonde hair, fit but not muscular, about 5’10” in heels wearing a short, sleeveless dress. She big round eyes and large, teeth-bearing smile. Very attractive.

Since she was clearly attractive and looked even better than her profile pictures, I was definitely interested and went for the introductory hug. I don’t shake hands with a girl on a date, that just seems so cold and impersonal. She did not display any hesitation or recoil during the hug and actually seemed to reciprocate. She had an excellent ice breaker that really seemed to ease any nerves that were lingering. After the hug, the fist thing she said was “Wow, you’re short!” Considering I am well over 6-feet tall, that surely wasn’t the case. I feigned being wounded by the comment to play along, and it definitely got us both laughing.

The conversation went well during the meal, with plenty of laughs and no awkward moments. We covered the basics, sharing a bit about our pasts and kids, and such. Her husband was killed in a car accident before her 7-year-old son was born, and later she got engaged to another guy and they bought a house together. Things fell apart and she kicked him out, keeping the ranch house. But the ranch is a bit much for a single mom to manage alone, so she has lots of random help stopping by to assist. This wouldn’t be any sort of issue, except apparently it’s nothing but locals offering to help to get into her house and ask for dates. She claimed it really bugged her sometimes, but I got the sense she really liked all the attention.

We had a hard end-time for the date because she had to leave to make appointments with other clients. As we walked out, she commented on how good I smelled (which is normally a pretty good sign). I walked her to her car and we exchanged another hug goodbye. I didn’t attempt a kiss because I really liked this girl and was a bit nervous about messing it up with a possibly unwanted advance on the first date. We also made (tentative) plans for another date on Saturday, and she was going to find a babysitter for her son. She left for her appointments and everything seemed to be going well. I even got a nice text only minutes after she left.

Post date: Our conversations remained the same the rest of the week. No sign of any changes or anything. The only thing was that neither one of us mentioned the date on Saturday. I did not want to seem like I was pressing the issue, and was letting her handle it. However, on Friday, when I had not heard anything regarding plans for Saturday, I asked about them. That is when she just casually said she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.

The problem with that is I would have hoped for a little courtesy informing me of this at some point instead of waiting to the last-minute. Sure I could have brought up our Saturday plans earlier in the week, but something tells me that wouldn’t have made a difference. And when I asked about rescheduling, she was very non-committal about setting up another time. I started to get the distinct impression that she just made the date to avoid confrontation and had every intention to cancel. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.

We talked daily, like usual, for another few days before the conversation started to tail off. Then it was reduced to her returning simple replies to my texts. She would not initiate conversations and her responses were very short, direct responses and she never would ask me questions or get into full-fledged conversations. So I decided to stop communicating altogether to see her response. I’ve heard from her very very rarely. And it’s just a very vanilla “how are you doing?” type of thing that lasts about 4-6 texts before it’s over.

However, if a second chance ever presented itself, I’d definitely take it. She was a very sweet, smart, grounded and beautiful girl. How could I pass that up?

Grade: B+

Coming soon: new dates & REWIND posts of past dates

Good morning! Thanks for reading. Just a few updates to expect in the next few days:

I will be adding new posts for some recent dates with new girls (Hermione and Irene). And I will also start working on adding posts for past dates going back to the first of the year. This will be called the REWIND series, since it will be posts of old dates, none of which are current relationships, starting with Fiona and going back to Abigail.

I recently added a DATES page to keep track of past dates in a simple format for you to go back and read about them without having to scroll through the whole blog log.

Please remember all names are fictitious to keep the real names anonymous, and they are in alphabetical order, just like the list of hurricanes each year. So the names are not similar in any way to the real names.

And if there are any other updates, topics or other things you would like to see, please drop a line or leave a comment. Thanks again for reading!