Justine: The Yoga instructor with a New York state of mind

Background: Justine had a very sarcastic and sassy profile on Match that really caught my attention and made me laugh. We followed the normal Match email-to-text progression, but followed that up with numerous phone conversations. The phone conversations proved to enhance the connection exponentially as we got to know each other.

Oddly enough, part of our initial conversations included talking about issues we were having with other online dating members and our bad experiences. We discussed what ended up being the end of my courtship of Georgia, as well as her issues with guys who had adopted rather inappropriate or immature approaches to asking for a first date. One guy kept whining that he was certain she was going to cancel their date plans, and his insecurity led to a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. While another asked her if she was naked (via text) while she was getting ready for their date – which led to her promptly canceling the date. All winners, and apparently weenies, too. But enough about them.

It took a little while longer for us to actually set up an actual date. We both had conflicting dates and schedules, plus she had her children and needed to wait until their next visitation with her ex-husband. The night she was supposed to go out with the naked-comment-guy, but cancelled, I had a follow-up date with Irene. The advantage was that it bought us a few extra days of chatting and talking, which led to a very deep connection that I had not experienced with online dating in a long time.

She is self-employed as a yoga/fitness instructor. She’s about 5’8″ with a very fit body, almost like a bodybuilder’s, and a New Yorker complete with attitude, accent and Mets sticker in the rear window of her SUV.

Things were getting so good that we just had to make time to see each other. The following weekend, we both cleared our respective dance floors (I had pending plans with Irene, she had a few more options – typical).

The Date: We both decided we wanted as much time as possible on this first date. So we decided to do lunch together and then hit an amusement park. I know it sounds like an unconventional first-date, but we both like amusement parks – and the faster and crazier the rides, the better.

However, our lunch date turned out to be more of a late lunch date. We had been up talking until the wee hours of the morning for the last few days, and we were both rather worn out and tired. Her more than me. We’re not as young as we used to be. Since we were both dragging, I told her to just let me know when she was ready and we would meet. Finally we decided to meet about 2 p.m. at a trendy burger joint (not fast food). It was in her part of town and about a 30-minute drive for me. I arrived on time and when I texted her that I was there, she let me know she still wasn’t ready. Our nerves were frazzled as it was, and her running behind started to create a bit of doubt about her commitment to the date. Especially after witnessing her ability to cancel dates at the last minute with little provocation. So, I was very calm about her running behind. She was very apologetic and repeatedly mentioned how nervous she was about meeting me.

About 30 minutes later she showed up. When we finally met, she literally jumped into my arms. I guess that was a good sign.

At lunch we split a specialty burger because neither one of us wanted to be too full before we went riding amusement park rides. The conversation went very well and she was very conversational with everyone around us. She’s definitely a social butterfly. After eating we headed to the park.

She had a season pass to the amusement park and takes her kids there often. While I was purchasing my own pass into, she proceeded to buy us both VIP passes that gave us front-of-the-line access to all the rides. Yes, it was rather expensive, so I didn’t have time to intercede and offer to pay for them (as any gentleman should on a first date). I think she already figured that out and that is why she did it that way. However, I made sure I paid for all of the snacks we had while at the park.

We made sure we made the most of the VIP passes and hit all the major rides, and even hit some of our favorites several times. With each passing moment, we got more and more comfortable. We started holding hands and getting real close to each other while waiting for rides. She even put a very playful smooch on me while waiting in line for her favorite ride. (Later on she would confess she wished she wouldn’t have done that because she wanted the first kiss to be my idea and something a little more romantic.) We decided to call it a day as evening started to set in and she began to get tired.

On the way out of the park, we both said we were hungry. We decided to stop for Chinese food on the way back to her house because she wanted to relax and watch a movie together. After getting back to her house, we ate and settled in to watch the movie. I had no idea she was a fan of baseball movies ((bonus points)), so we watched “42” the new movie about Jackie Robinson.

As the movie started, I moved in for a real kiss attempt and it was a success. So much so that we were distracted several times during the movie to make out. I don’t think she objected too much considering she initiated as much as I did. Nothing else happened and I was home before midnight. So all-in-all, it was a success.

Post date: Since then we have continued to bond and talk. She invited me over again to hang out before she went to work and it appears we are both settling in for what might actually become a relationship. But we will see. These things have blown up in my face before. ((Remember Georgia?))

Grade: A

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Ellen: Beautiful blonde, but maybe a bit of baggage (Rewind)

Background: She contacted me on Match with an email sounding like she was interested in me but that because of my job and her job, there might be a conflict of interest to where she wouldn’t be able to date me. I responded back clarifying the issues and it actually started a line of communication that opened us up to a potential date. There were lots of things she wanted us to do together; karaoke, go to the gun range, go horseback riding together, etc. So we decided on meeting for lunch one afternoon while she was traveling about town for her job. She was a financial consultant who worked from home, so her car was basically her office.

The only potential red flag to this point was the stalker behavior of her ex-fiance. While we were emailing, texting and talking, there were several instances where he would stalk her at Wal-Mart, or mess with her animals while she was away from the house. She has a ranch with horses and other farm animals. Yes, she’s quite country. The kind of girl who likes pickup trucks over regular cars. I tried not to let that all get in the way because everyone has issues, a little drama, and things they can’t control in their life.

The Date: We met for lunch on a Wednesday at a popular italian restaurant chain. There was a car accident two blocks from the restaurant, so my normal practice of being the first one there was thwarted. So when I arrived she was sitting in the lobby finishing up some work while she waited. She was absolutely beautiful. Natural curly blonde hair, fit but not muscular, about 5’10” in heels wearing a short, sleeveless dress. She big round eyes and large, teeth-bearing smile. Very attractive.

Since she was clearly attractive and looked even better than her profile pictures, I was definitely interested and went for the introductory hug. I don’t shake hands with a girl on a date, that just seems so cold and impersonal. She did not display any hesitation or recoil during the hug and actually seemed to reciprocate. She had an excellent ice breaker that really seemed to ease any nerves that were lingering. After the hug, the fist thing she said was “Wow, you’re short!” Considering I am well over 6-feet tall, that surely wasn’t the case. I feigned being wounded by the comment to play along, and it definitely got us both laughing.

The conversation went well during the meal, with plenty of laughs and no awkward moments. We covered the basics, sharing a bit about our pasts and kids, and such. Her husband was killed in a car accident before her 7-year-old son was born, and later she got engaged to another guy and they bought a house together. Things fell apart and she kicked him out, keeping the ranch house. But the ranch is a bit much for a single mom to manage alone, so she has lots of random help stopping by to assist. This wouldn’t be any sort of issue, except apparently it’s nothing but locals offering to help to get into her house and ask for dates. She claimed it really bugged her sometimes, but I got the sense she really liked all the attention.

We had a hard end-time for the date because she had to leave to make appointments with other clients. As we walked out, she commented on how good I smelled (which is normally a pretty good sign). I walked her to her car and we exchanged another hug goodbye. I didn’t attempt a kiss because I really liked this girl and was a bit nervous about messing it up with a possibly unwanted advance on the first date. We also made (tentative) plans for another date on Saturday, and she was going to find a babysitter for her son. She left for her appointments and everything seemed to be going well. I even got a nice text only minutes after she left.

Post date: Our conversations remained the same the rest of the week. No sign of any changes or anything. The only thing was that neither one of us mentioned the date on Saturday. I did not want to seem like I was pressing the issue, and was letting her handle it. However, on Friday, when I had not heard anything regarding plans for Saturday, I asked about them. That is when she just casually said she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.

The problem with that is I would have hoped for a little courtesy informing me of this at some point instead of waiting to the last-minute. Sure I could have brought up our Saturday plans earlier in the week, but something tells me that wouldn’t have made a difference. And when I asked about rescheduling, she was very non-committal about setting up another time. I started to get the distinct impression that she just made the date to avoid confrontation and had every intention to cancel. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.

We talked daily, like usual, for another few days before the conversation started to tail off. Then it was reduced to her returning simple replies to my texts. She would not initiate conversations and her responses were very short, direct responses and she never would ask me questions or get into full-fledged conversations. So I decided to stop communicating altogether to see her response. I’ve heard from her very very rarely. And it’s just a very vanilla “how are you doing?” type of thing that lasts about 4-6 texts before it’s over.

However, if a second chance ever presented itself, I’d definitely take it. She was a very sweet, smart, grounded and beautiful girl. How could I pass that up?

Grade: B+

Fiona: She really works out, but it didn’t work out (Rewind)

Background: Another Match date that had a quick connection with us going from Match emails to texting to dating in a relatively quick fashion. Part of that seems to be the trend of girls on the site wanting to get right to that in-person event to see if there is any connection there. There seems to be a lot of connections that are made via emails that fizzle out in person. It makes sense. These quick turnaround dates also seem to favor simple happy hour or lunch get-togethers to limit the amount of time of the first, possibly awkward, encounter. So we decided to meet at a popular happy hour bar not too far from her work.

The Date: We met at the bar for some drinks and snacks. I was only a few minutes late because I had to drive almost completely to the other side of town right in the middle of rush hour. So, the odds were against me. We started off talking at the bar and then moved upstairs onto the roof where they have more tables and a bar.

She was very beautiful in her summer dress with her hair in a pony tail because she worked out in the gym over lunch. She was about 5’9″ in heels.

She works out more than most men and has the body of a bodybuilder without actually lifting competitively. She is about 120 lbs of muscle and is very sexy about showing it off. She shared several pictures showing off her back and legs muscles, while also showing me her tattoos.

The conversation went well, though I was a little more shy than usual. I was so concerned about impressing her that it actually caused me to seem nervous around her. But I wasn’t I really enjoyed being around her. There definitely seemed to be some sort of chemistry and we started talking about making other plans. The date came to an end because she said she had to be home when her son got home from his after school job. I walked her to her car and we had a good, meaningful hug goodnight.

Post date: We talked regularly and the date didn’t seem to change our talking habits or our chemistry. She was however obsessed with asking me to send pictures of my “junk”, which I never did because it just seemed creepy. I tried to play it into something suggestive by saying if she really wanted to see it, she just needed to let me know when and where to meet her and she could see it. It never went anywhere, nor did I expect it to.

Then I went out of town one weekend. While away, I was planning to visit some high school friends that Friday night, and she said she had plans with high school friends too. We playfully talked about drunk dialing each other later in the night and having fun together on the phone. As it turned out, I didn’t go out that night because plans changed. I texted her that I was staying in, but didn’t hear anything back from her.

The next morning I woke up and saw that I had a text message from her – timestamped about 2:45am. Saying that she had met someone and wanted to see where it went, and that we couldn’t talk anymore.

My advice is to tell someone you’re not going to see them anymore BEFORE you hookup with someone else, not immediately after. Just saying.

So that was it. Until a few weeks later ….

Grade: B

Irene: Tall and blonde with all the right curves

Background: Another Match date which progressed faster than many other dates. We emailed briefly on the site, and transitioned to texting rather quickly. I find I like moving on to texting and calling much faster now. Emailing through dating sites just seems so cold and takes forever. Match email can take as long s 30 minutes from the time it is sent to the time the recipient is notified, but I’m getting sidetracked.

There was definitely a good connection and her pictures were very nice and she looked very attractive. This, however, caused a bit of concern because there have been too many times where I got burned with people looking a bit different than their pictures lead you to believe. The date came up on a spur of the moment suggestion after an early night with my friends. I was texting Irene all night and she was getting ready for bed. When she heard I was heading home early she asked if I wanted to get together, and I was definitely OK with it. So she got out of bed, put her make up on and got ready in a matter of 15-20 minutes. A definite bonus that she was willing to do that to meet with me for only a few hours.

The Date: Since it was approaching 11pm when we met, we just decided to meet at a bar located between us and have drinks and talk. She showed up less than 5 minutes after I did and it was easy to recognize her when she walked in. She was tall (but not taller than me), blonde and curvy. The good kind of curvy, not the fat kind of curvy. Apparently there are two definitions to what that means on dating sites. I’ve learned that the hard way. But she looked great – even with her hair in a ponytail (a nice one this time).

The conversation went smooth and fast. We were both laughing and there weren’t any awkward silences or moments.  We covered all sorts of topics, from jobs and ex’s to dating and what we were looking for from our dates. The connection we had emailing and texting definitely carried over throughout the date.

We closed down the bar and I walked her to her car. The conversation was still going and was still good. At her car, she was clearly not in a hurry to get in and go. So after a few more minutes of conversation, I moved in for the good night kiss. Even the kiss had a connection with it. It was good and prolonged, and after we stopped and talked a bit more, she moved in for more. So I think it was well received.

Post date: We texted each other when we got home and have continued texting and talking since. A follow-up date is definitely in the future, unless things with Georgia get too serious (but that is a dilemma for another post).

Grade: A

Coming soon: new dates & REWIND posts of past dates

Good morning! Thanks for reading. Just a few updates to expect in the next few days:

I will be adding new posts for some recent dates with new girls (Hermione and Irene). And I will also start working on adding posts for past dates going back to the first of the year. This will be called the REWIND series, since it will be posts of old dates, none of which are current relationships, starting with Fiona and going back to Abigail.

I recently added a DATES page to keep track of past dates in a simple format for you to go back and read about them without having to scroll through the whole blog log.

Please remember all names are fictitious to keep the real names anonymous, and they are in alphabetical order, just like the list of hurricanes each year. So the names are not similar in any way to the real names.

And if there are any other updates, topics or other things you would like to see, please drop a line or leave a comment. Thanks again for reading!

Georgia: Just drinks, she was a peach

Background: Met on Match about a week ago. Sent a few messages back and forth, exchanged numbers and finally set up a first date for last night. Originally it was supposed to be just drinks until about 7:30. I offered to make it dinner since we would have enough time, but then she changed the end time to 6:30 because she had to pick her kids up earlier. Did I have my doubts about the reason for the time change? Of course, but I didn’t stress out about it because I have no reason not to trust her yet. Leading up to the date, I heard from her sporadically. Not as much as I normally feel comfortable with, but maybe that’s just the way she is, and doesn’t like texting much or isn’t a very chatty person.

The Date: I arrived a little before 4:30 and texted her that I would be waiting for her at the bar. Earlier, I went to pull up her Match profile to brush up on some basics and look at her pictures again to make sure I recognized her when she walked in. That is when I noticed she had hidden her profile, so I was unable to check anything out and was only able to see her main profile image. About 5 minutes later she walked in. It was easy to recognize her because she looked almost exactly like her picture. Thank god! What a relief! I stood and greeted her with a light hug.

We each ordered a beer and began talking. We covered each other’s jobs in depth, transitioned into kids and family. We even discussed our ex’s a little bit but tried to avoid too much of that on the first date, trying to avoid too much negativity. Everything went smooth and there weren’t any awkward silences or moments. We ordered a second beer and continued. She had a very beautiful smile, which seemed to be permanently attached, most likely due to a combination of nerves and enjoyment. Or so I would hope.

She did excuse herself to use the restroom at one point, so of course I had to check out her body. I didn’t make an attempt when she walked in because I didn’t want that to be her first impression of me – checking out her body. She’s about 5’6″ with a toned body, wearing a business pants suit and works as an analytical number cruncher. She had nice legs, a very nice butt, an average chest and was very attractive overall (rate: 7-8).

The only possibly contentious moment came when she broached the topic of her religion and beliefs. She was worried I would be turned off by it, since apparently other guys have been. Or that I would say it is OK now, but tell her later after the date that it bothered me. She seemed unwilling to accept that I was genuinely OK with it because I grew up in a very religious family. It honestly didn’t bother me. It took a little convincing but she finally accepted my position on the matter.

Before we new it, it was already after her deadline of 6:30. It was a good sign that she was involved enough to not be checking her watch waiting for the date to be over. When I went to pay for the drinks, she attempted to pay or split the bill. I declined. She put up a little bit of a tussle and then said she would pay during the next date. I scoffed and said “we’ll see”, but did play on her saying there would be another date. We both quickly and emphatically agreed that we would both like to see each other again.

I walked her to her car where we hugged (much more intimately than the initial hug when the date started). We chatted about trying to work out a future date but couldn’t find a reasonably quick time to see each other again. So we just said we’d play it by ear. We hugged again, intimately, lingering for a moment and she entered her car and left. Halfway home, I received a very sweet text message thanking me for a surprisingly nice evening, and she couldn’t wait to do it again.

Post date: Since the date, I have heard much more from her and she has been much more revealing with me. A big step in just 24 hours. Even though she has her kids this weekend, she is trying to find a way to make a window of time for us to get together this weekend. Things are looking promising at this point.

Grade: A

Check back periodically for further updates.