Fiona: She really works out, but it didn’t work out (Rewind)

Background: Another Match date that had a quick connection with us going from Match emails to texting to dating in a relatively quick fashion. Part of that seems to be the trend of girls on the site wanting to get right to that in-person event to see if there is any connection there. There seems to be a lot of connections that are made via emails that fizzle out in person. It makes sense. These quick turnaround dates also seem to favor simple happy hour or lunch get-togethers to limit the amount of time of the first, possibly awkward, encounter. So we decided to meet at a popular happy hour bar not too far from her work.

The Date: We met at the bar for some drinks and snacks. I was only a few minutes late because I had to drive almost completely to the other side of town right in the middle of rush hour. So, the odds were against me. We started off talking at the bar and then moved upstairs onto the roof where they have more tables and a bar.

She was very beautiful in her summer dress with her hair in a pony tail because she worked out in the gym over lunch. She was about 5’9″ in heels.

She works out more than most men and has the body of a bodybuilder without actually lifting competitively. She is about 120 lbs of muscle and is very sexy about showing it off. She shared several pictures showing off her back and legs muscles, while also showing me her tattoos.

The conversation went well, though I was a little more shy than usual. I was so concerned about impressing her that it actually caused me to seem nervous around her. But I wasn’t I really enjoyed being around her. There definitely seemed to be some sort of chemistry and we started talking about making other plans. The date came to an end because she said she had to be home when her son got home from his after school job. I walked her to her car and we had a good, meaningful hug goodnight.

Post date: We talked regularly and the date didn’t seem to change our talking habits or our chemistry. She was however obsessed with asking me to send pictures of my “junk”, which I never did because it just seemed creepy. I tried to play it into something suggestive by saying if she really wanted to see it, she just needed to let me know when and where to meet her and she could see it. It never went anywhere, nor did I expect it to.

Then I went out of town one weekend. While away, I was planning to visit some high school friends that Friday night, and she said she had plans with high school friends too. We playfully talked about drunk dialing each other later in the night and having fun together on the phone. As it turned out, I didn’t go out that night because plans changed. I texted her that I was staying in, but didn’t hear anything back from her.

The next morning I woke up and saw that I had a text message from her – timestamped about 2:45am. Saying that she had met someone and wanted to see where it went, and that we couldn’t talk anymore.

My advice is to tell someone you’re not going to see them anymore BEFORE you hookup with someone else, not immediately after. Just saying.

So that was it. Until a few weeks later ….

Grade: B

UPDATE: Georgia, Fiona, Irene and introducing Justine

What a busy week. We’ve all heard the saying “when it rains it pours.” It’s no different in dating. Dating has its droughts, but it also has its floods. This is one of those times when there is almost too much going on at one time to keep it all straight, and enjoy it. We’re looking in the face of five first dates in the last couple of weeks, not to mention follow-up dates with several of them. So let’s get to the updates.

GEORGIA: She had lots of potential. We started talking like a couple and had a great time together. I was just on the verge of turning off all of the other candidates because it looked like things were going to get exclusive. But after a great night out, which ended with her proposing watching a movie at her house, things changed. We cuddled on the couch watching the movie, with intermittent kissing sessions, until about 2am. There was no sex, and I didn’t broach the subject. She had some recent issues with men forcing themselves on her, so I was taking it real slow with her. I texted her when I got home and her response was that she was looking forward to spending a lot more time together.

Then things flipped 180 degrees. I hardly heard from her the next day and she ignored most of my messages. I wrote it off that she was busy spending time with her kids, but I was starting to get nervous. Then on Monday, the same thing, she ignored most of my messages and I hardly heard from her and when I would ask it everything was OK she would say everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about.

You can never fully trust that, because women will tell you everything is perfectly fine and you have nothing to worry about right up until the moment when they drop the big bomb on you.

I tried calling that night and she said she wasn’t able to talk because she had a lot of work to do that night, but that everything was OK. Then the next day, I decided to stop texting until she texted me first. Then oddly enough, I got advice – from a woman you will meet later (Justine) – saying I should just text her to say HI and see what’s up. So I did. That’s when the bomb dropped. She said she wanted to be honest and let me know she really wasn’t ready to be dating again yet, and that she felt sorry for leading me on. Sometimes, I really hate being right. My gut was telling me the whole time that she was getting scared. I just responded that I was sorry to hear that. So … moving on …

FIONA: Then the craziest thing happened. I heard from Fiona again. It had been a couple of weeks since I last heard from her when she told me she was going to focus on her new relationship with this cop she met. So out of the blue I get a message asking how I was doing. I said fine, but I was a little confused because I didn’t think I was going to hear from her again. She had the nerve to ask me “Why?” Why?? Because you said so, that’s why.

We talked briefly about her being happier than she has been in a long time with this guy and she wanted to still be friends. I was OK with it, though it sounded kind of odd because we had a good time together but didn’t thing we were that close otherwise she probably would have been focusing on me and not seeing other guys. And I already replayed the entire conversation to make sure I didn’t miss any hints that she was looking to see if I was still interested in her. Well, considering the fact I flat out asked her if she was still seeing this guy (perfect opportunity to say “no” and see my reaction), she responded that she was and was very happy. So if it was a gauge to try to get me back, it wasn’t a very good one. But then, just as fast as she came back into the scene, she was gone again and I haven’t heard from her since. Go figure.

IRENE: I’ve seen Irene a couple more times and things are trending to possibility of making a bonafide relationship. She even invited me over and made me dinner. The chemistry is good all around. We’ve even talked about going out again this weekend.

But the problem is Justine. We’ve been talking for a while now and have a crazy cool connection. Texting all day, talking all night – sometimes for up to 3 hours until 2am. There is definitely chemistry there. So we’ve been trying to find time to get together for a real date and want to spend time together this weekend.

The problem comes with what to do with Irene. You never truly really knows what is going to happen with two people who have great chemistry emailing and texting that meet for the first time. Many times there is no physical chemistry and it falls flat. So in the event that happens, I want to keep options open with Irene.

Thanks for reading and expect to see the post from time with Justine sometime by the end of the weekend. Thanks for reading.

Irene: Tall and blonde with all the right curves

Background: Another Match date which progressed faster than many other dates. We emailed briefly on the site, and transitioned to texting rather quickly. I find I like moving on to texting and calling much faster now. Emailing through dating sites just seems so cold and takes forever. Match email can take as long s 30 minutes from the time it is sent to the time the recipient is notified, but I’m getting sidetracked.

There was definitely a good connection and her pictures were very nice and she looked very attractive. This, however, caused a bit of concern because there have been too many times where I got burned with people looking a bit different than their pictures lead you to believe. The date came up on a spur of the moment suggestion after an early night with my friends. I was texting Irene all night and she was getting ready for bed. When she heard I was heading home early she asked if I wanted to get together, and I was definitely OK with it. So she got out of bed, put her make up on and got ready in a matter of 15-20 minutes. A definite bonus that she was willing to do that to meet with me for only a few hours.

The Date: Since it was approaching 11pm when we met, we just decided to meet at a bar located between us and have drinks and talk. She showed up less than 5 minutes after I did and it was easy to recognize her when she walked in. She was tall (but not taller than me), blonde and curvy. The good kind of curvy, not the fat kind of curvy. Apparently there are two definitions to what that means on dating sites. I’ve learned that the hard way. But she looked great – even with her hair in a ponytail (a nice one this time).

The conversation went smooth and fast. We were both laughing and there weren’t any awkward silences or moments.  We covered all sorts of topics, from jobs and ex’s to dating and what we were looking for from our dates. The connection we had emailing and texting definitely carried over throughout the date.

We closed down the bar and I walked her to her car. The conversation was still going and was still good. At her car, she was clearly not in a hurry to get in and go. So after a few more minutes of conversation, I moved in for the good night kiss. Even the kiss had a connection with it. It was good and prolonged, and after we stopped and talked a bit more, she moved in for more. So I think it was well received.

Post date: We texted each other when we got home and have continued texting and talking since. A follow-up date is definitely in the future, unless things with Georgia get too serious (but that is a dilemma for another post).

Grade: A

Hermione: Not quite dressed to kill

Background: Met and talked on Match for a while. She said she was ending her profile soon and gave me her email address, where we did most of our communicating. The preliminary communication was not overly insightful. The initial connection was minimal, but there was one there, otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to a date. Though, to be honest, she offered up any time over the weekend to go on a date, but I was really hoping for the chance to go on another date with Georgia again. That came the next day, and is a story for another time. I also had the potential for two other date options. We agreed to meet on a Friday night.

The Date: The plan was for dinner and just see where it went from there. I had an original plan of driving a to an area that had lots of trendy restaurants with some fun themes. But when I arrived at her house, it was clear I shouldn’t expect much from the evening.

She came out in a black t-shirt, poor fitting jean shorts, running shoes and her hair in a scraggly pony tail. I, however, was dressed in slacks and a button-up shirt. Needless to say it wasn’t the best first impression. She was an older lady by close to 10 years so I figured more effort and class out of her.

So with the chemistry already running dangerously low, I altered the dinner plans to a major chain restaurant that was closer by. The conversation was good. And she was a very attractive woman, both for her age and what she was wearing. She still is a competitive track athlete so her body is in incredible shape.

After dinner, we decided to walk around a local park and talk. She talked quite a bit about her ex’s (ex-husband, and recent ex-boyfriend who she said was very close to the love of her life) and we also shared many common stories dealing with our ex’s feelings on us dating post-divorce. We ran into one of her former students (yes, she is a high school teacher also) who is now in his 20s, which brought up the subject of one of her other students. This student had contacted her on Facebook and wanted to meet up with her because he was in town visiting on the next day after our date (Saturday). She was trying to talk herself out of the notion that he was trying to hookup with his former teacher. But the more she went into the story, it was really hard for me to dismiss his intentions as being anything but a college kid’s fantasy to hookup with one of his hot former teachers.

There was also very little physical contact and really not flirtation from her. When we stopped at times, I would make contact with her to gauge her reaction. Nothing promising. So once it got dark we headed back to her place. We lingered in the car for a while talking. She didn’t seem eager to rush right out of the car. But eventually it came time for her to leave, and we exchanged a short kiss goodnight. As she left, neither of us promised future contact or false hopes of another date. But no one said we wouldn’t either, but it was most likely understood.

Post date: I have not yet heard from her since the date, nor have I really had the inclination to attempt to contact her either. Nor do I expect to hear from her in the future either.

Grade: C+

Coming soon: new dates & REWIND posts of past dates

Good morning! Thanks for reading. Just a few updates to expect in the next few days:

I will be adding new posts for some recent dates with new girls (Hermione and Irene). And I will also start working on adding posts for past dates going back to the first of the year. This will be called the REWIND series, since it will be posts of old dates, none of which are current relationships, starting with Fiona and going back to Abigail.

I recently added a DATES page to keep track of past dates in a simple format for you to go back and read about them without having to scroll through the whole blog log.

Please remember all names are fictitious to keep the real names anonymous, and they are in alphabetical order, just like the list of hurricanes each year. So the names are not similar in any way to the real names.

And if there are any other updates, topics or other things you would like to see, please drop a line or leave a comment. Thanks again for reading!

Georgia: Just drinks, she was a peach

Background: Met on Match about a week ago. Sent a few messages back and forth, exchanged numbers and finally set up a first date for last night. Originally it was supposed to be just drinks until about 7:30. I offered to make it dinner since we would have enough time, but then she changed the end time to 6:30 because she had to pick her kids up earlier. Did I have my doubts about the reason for the time change? Of course, but I didn’t stress out about it because I have no reason not to trust her yet. Leading up to the date, I heard from her sporadically. Not as much as I normally feel comfortable with, but maybe that’s just the way she is, and doesn’t like texting much or isn’t a very chatty person.

The Date: I arrived a little before 4:30 and texted her that I would be waiting for her at the bar. Earlier, I went to pull up her Match profile to brush up on some basics and look at her pictures again to make sure I recognized her when she walked in. That is when I noticed she had hidden her profile, so I was unable to check anything out and was only able to see her main profile image. About 5 minutes later she walked in. It was easy to recognize her because she looked almost exactly like her picture. Thank god! What a relief! I stood and greeted her with a light hug.

We each ordered a beer and began talking. We covered each other’s jobs in depth, transitioned into kids and family. We even discussed our ex’s a little bit but tried to avoid too much of that on the first date, trying to avoid too much negativity. Everything went smooth and there weren’t any awkward silences or moments. We ordered a second beer and continued. She had a very beautiful smile, which seemed to be permanently attached, most likely due to a combination of nerves and enjoyment. Or so I would hope.

She did excuse herself to use the restroom at one point, so of course I had to check out her body. I didn’t make an attempt when she walked in because I didn’t want that to be her first impression of me – checking out her body. She’s about 5’6″ with a toned body, wearing a business pants suit and works as an analytical number cruncher. She had nice legs, a very nice butt, an average chest and was very attractive overall (rate: 7-8).

The only possibly contentious moment came when she broached the topic of her religion and beliefs. She was worried I would be turned off by it, since apparently other guys have been. Or that I would say it is OK now, but tell her later after the date that it bothered me. She seemed unwilling to accept that I was genuinely OK with it because I grew up in a very religious family. It honestly didn’t bother me. It took a little convincing but she finally accepted my position on the matter.

Before we new it, it was already after her deadline of 6:30. It was a good sign that she was involved enough to not be checking her watch waiting for the date to be over. When I went to pay for the drinks, she attempted to pay or split the bill. I declined. She put up a little bit of a tussle and then said she would pay during the next date. I scoffed and said “we’ll see”, but did play on her saying there would be another date. We both quickly and emphatically agreed that we would both like to see each other again.

I walked her to her car where we hugged (much more intimately than the initial hug when the date started). We chatted about trying to work out a future date but couldn’t find a reasonably quick time to see each other again. So we just said we’d play it by ear. We hugged again, intimately, lingering for a moment and she entered her car and left. Halfway home, I received a very sweet text message thanking me for a surprisingly nice evening, and she couldn’t wait to do it again.

Post date: Since the date, I have heard much more from her and she has been much more revealing with me. A big step in just 24 hours. Even though she has her kids this weekend, she is trying to find a way to make a window of time for us to get together this weekend. Things are looking promising at this point.

Grade: A

Check back periodically for further updates.