Ariel: Another relationship supernova

Last I updated you all, Ariel wasn’t feeling well on Super Bowl Sunday. Well, she officially cancelled because she just never got around to feeling well enough and didn’t want me to see her running back and forth to the bathroom all night.

Since then, things have been on a steady, consistent decline. Hearing less and less from her each day. Ultimately leading to this morning, when she said she’s spent a lot of time thinking this week and is going to call me tonight (Thursday) so we can talk.

That’s never good.

We had talked on the phone on Monday. She shut down her Facebook and Match accounts. She said she wanted to unplug and disconnect. She assured me it wasn’t to disconnect or distance herself from me. But over the week, it was clear she was drifting away from me. She would never ask about me, never follow-up about things I told her about, and her answers got shorter and shorter. Finally yesterday, I had only received five texts from her all day. Five. That’s it. All day.

She said the reason was so she could focus on painting this mural she had been wanting to work on. She had apparently found her inspiration and wanted to focus on working on that. I totally understood that and was fully supportive.

She’s a great painter. Everything I’ve seen her paint is just beautiful. So of course I wanted to encourage her and be supportive in any way I could. Even if that meant giving her a little space and understand when I don’t hear from her as much. She sent me a picture updating her progress, and it was looking great. I made every effort to not bother her when I knew she was working on it and never questioned, commented or complained about the lack of communication between us. But I would send occasional text every few hours just asking how things were going and how she was doing.

However, one major piece of the conversation – that she tried to downplay – seems to be at the root of all of this. She mentioned her ex-boyfriend reached out to her and she was removing him from her life because. It was a long distance relationship and he treated her terribly. Sounds eerily similar to Staci and her ex-boyfriend drama. But I tried not to let it bother me too much, and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

I just don’t see how things got her from Friday. Nothing (negative) happened between us. No disagreements. No conflict. No drama. Nothing.

She waited until late in the evening to call so she could have the excuse that she needed to go to bed to serve as her backstop.

Basically, it was all about the ex-boyfriend. She needs to take time to figure out what is going on with him and doesn’t think it would be fair to lead me on and drag things out while she figured things out. So our plans for Saturday are cancelled and I don’t know if I will ever hear from her again.

And don’t think – for a second – I was just accepting about all of this and let her off the hook easy. I got my points across. Like, after all she told me about him and how her friends and family don’t like this guy, why would she go back to him; she knew my profile said not to contact me if you’re not over your ex, because I didn’t want to go through this again like I did with Staci; and how I don’t understand how things could go from so very good to over so quickly. None of it makes any sense. But it is what it is and there’s nothing I can do about it.

She insists that she isn’t trying to get back together with him, just wants to figure things out and needs time to do that. She also says that once things get ironed out, assuming she doesn’t get back together with him, that she would reach out to me to possibly see about getting back together. I’m definitely not holding my breath. As you’ll soon see.

So, I guess it’s time to close another chapter and open a new one.

Please stay tuned. I’ve got a pretty good story brewing for you all that I’ll post after this weekend.

And as always, thanks for reading!

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New 2016, Zoey, 2015 Wrap-up and more updates

Hello everyone.

Sorry it’s been so long since my last update. It was in October or something, right?

Well, things have been just crazy, in both my personal and dating life. So, in December, I shut down my Match profile and haven’t been on looking since. I needed to step away from the whole thing for a while. Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, if I don’t have a girlfriend over the Holidays, then I stop dating until after Valentine’s Day.

But now to the updates …

Last I mentioned, I was looking into seeing Abigail again. Things seemed to be going very well, and I really opened myself up to try to make things work, since it was kind of my fault things ended up they way they did the first time. After a few weeks, she kind of disappeared on me. She said she had a lot going on, things were crazy at work and home and her father was even in the hospital. But everything just stopped. No explanation. No reason. And when I would hear from her, her explanations were cryptic and never explained anything, no matter how many questions I asked. So I finally sent her a message telling her that I was trying to be there for her but just ended up feeling like I was bother her, and that I was stepping away until I heard more from her. To date, I haven’t heard anything. So I guess that chapter is closed (again).

And I finally heard from Staci (everyone’s favorite question and topic) this weekend out of the blue. No, we’re not looking at getting back together or anything. She sent me a message explaining what happened with her ex-boyfriend. And I was right. That’s all that really matters (lol). They barely made it a month before they split again. I’m not one to say “I told you so,” but I told you so. lol

Then there was Zoey. Yes, you may have noticed I skipped a few names, but honestly I went on a number of dates since Wanda and really don’t feel like recapping them, so since Violet was the final girl of 2015 and makes for an easier transition (which I will explain later), I’m sticking with it. Deal with it.

Zoey and I met on Match shortly after Abigail and I ended. Things were hot and heavy for the first few weeks. We clicked and things were falling into place so well. Almost too well.

I had finally met her kids (a young daughter and son in high school) and we were waiting for my son to get back from a visit with his mom before I introduced him to her and her kids. I was out of town for  a few days before I picked him up. During that time, there was lots of conversation about how she missed me, couldn’t wait to see me, and such. I was gone for her birthday so I had flowers sent to her work, and she was telling me I was the best boyfriend, etc.

Then things seemed to change overnight. Literally, overnight. The night of her birthday, to be more precise. I don’t know what happened because I wasn’t there. All I know is she called me on her way home from work and we talked for nearly an hour. Then she said she had to go to have cake with her kids (at about 7 p.m.). Then about 9:30 p.m. she called again, heading home from the bar just down the street from her house. And she was tanked. I didn’t ask who she was with, probably because I didn’t want to know.

I returned home the next day and went over to her house. The whole time I was there, she hardly got close to me at any time, and hardly acted like she even wanted  me to be there. I brushed it off to the hangover she was dealing with following her birthday evening excursion. Then the next evening I went over to her house again, and it was more of the same. She didn’t seem interested in the fact that I was there. We had been apart for more than a week, and then when we were together, she didn’t seem interested at all. Then in a matter of days, things completely unraveled. I saw a whole new side to her that I had never seen before. And she started distancing herself from me more and more.

I remembered a conversation we had early on in the relationship about her mom grilling her about us and commenting how she was amazed she hadn’t “pulled a Zoey” by now. Which according her mom, means she finds some small stupid reason to push guys away and shut them out, then break up with them. She vowed to not do that with me, and said if I ever caught her doing that, to call her out on her so she would stop. Yet, when I did, she didn’t stop and it even drove her further away. And a matter of days later, we were done. Just like that. A complete 180-degree turn on a dime. And when I tried to find out what was going on, she wouldn’t explain and insisted we weren’t breaking up. And she finally took the immature route of ignoring me hoping I would just go away until I finally threw up my hands and send “I get the message, we’re done.”

That’s when I decided to take a break for a while. So my plan is to stay offline and out of the dating game until the beginning of February. It gives me time to regroup, re-evaluate my dating priorities, and take a break to ensure I don’t just rush into something. Plus, it keeps me from meeting someone requiring me to figure out a Valentine’s Day plan for a girl I just started dating.

So, I’m rewriting my profile and re-evaluating my search criteria, because whatever I have been doing hasn’t really been working. And I will officially start dating in 2016 on February 1.

I will also reset the naming process (beginning with A, again). I also plan to change how I talk about and relay dating experiences with all of you. If you have suggestions for what you would like to know about each date, or how you would like me to structure it, please comment below with your ideas. I want to tailor it to what you are more interested in reading.

I hope this catches all of you up on how things are going. If you have any questions, please let me know.

Until then,  thank you all for reading.

It’s Fall, So Fall Back, Right?

Hello everyone! Sorry it has been so long since my last post, but I’ve kind of been taking a break from things a little bit. I hid the ol’ Match profile, took a step back to do some self-evaluations about where I’m going, what I’m doing, and what I really want out of things. I also did a little research and self-help reading to get my motivated and in the right frame of mind.

So I don’t really have any new, wonderful dating stories to share with you at this point. But some interesting developments have taken place recently, since my last post. Like I said  … Fall back, right?

Well, for some yet-to-be-defined reason, a few boomerangs have returned. No, don’t get your hopes up, Staci was not one of them. If you don’t find that funny, then you just don’t get me. Anyway … I’ve had a few conversations with Olive over the past few months, but I think I already told you that. Nothing serious, just casual conversations about random stuff and we occasionally see each other at 5Ks and stuff. Nothing physical has happened, nor have I even entertained the thought of trying to see if she would be a FWB.

Then Naomi contacted me, right before I shut down my Match profile. I’ll be honest, I knew she looked familiar and I knew we had talked, but I wasn’t sure we had actually dated. After talking with her for a little while, I remembered, yep, it was definitely Naomi. So, we ended up hanging out one night, and then it didn’t take long to remember why things didn’t work out. She goes from 0 to 100 in a flash. After just talking for a little while, it was like we were already in a relationship. And then after hanging out one time – seriously, just one time – she acted like we were boyfriend-girlfriend. I’m not into moving that fast, thank you very much. So once again, I had to put her behind me.

Then, the craziest thing happened. I heard from Abigail. Yes, Abigail, the first, the one who “started” this whole thing. She is also the only one I never got around to writing about. Here’s why …

Abigail was the first girl I dated after my divorce (nearly 3 years ago). My thought process heading back into the dating game was that since I had been out of the scene for 7+ years, it was going to be rough at first. I figured I’d have a handful of bad dates and awkward experiences before I really started to get into finding quality women. It was kind of like kicking the rust off, if you will. I never expected to find something substantial right away.

We dated for a couple of months. We really hit it off. The only negatives I could find about her were that she still lived with her parents while trying to get herself back on her feet after her divorce and she lived more than an hour away. Not major issues, but like I said, those were the only ones I could ever really find.

She was smart, funny, easy to talk to, strong willed, and very passionate about the motorcycle group she was a part of (she would travel to the state capitol to lobby for motorcyclist rights and such), as well as becoming a nurse.

I really started to develop feelings for her. And that was the problem. She was the first girl I dated and I wasn’t comfortable with feeling that way about someone so soon. I freaked out. I panicked. Whatever you want to call it. I don’t blame her for anything that happened (especially now) because the more I look back on things, she was just doing things the way she was supposed to. We were clearly in a relationship, a sexual relationship, as well as exclusive. And she wanted that commitment from me. I remember plain as day, the time we were talking on the phone during one of her trips to the capitol, and she asked me “When are you going to girlfriend this?” It seemed a little corny, but she had every right to want to know where we stood and where things were going.

And that’s pretty much when I shut it down. Again, I panicked. I freaked out. I got scared. Whatever you want to call it.

But things are different now. I’ve evolved. I’ve grown. I’m more comfortable (and confident) with my situation, who I am and what I’m doing.

I don’t know what is going to happen from here on out with Abigail. Clearly we’ve both thought about the other over the past 2-3 years, and maybe we’re trying to see if there really is anything there, I don’t know. The downside to things now, is that she completed nursing school and works at a hospital now. The problem isn’t so much her schedule, it is the fact that the hospital she works at is even farther away and she is considering moving there.

But I’m not letting that be a deciding factor. If things work, they work, if they don’t … well, they don’t. She knows and understood my time restrictions before and was OK with them, and they’re even less now than they were then. We’ll see how it goes.

And if this doesn’t work out, then it’s about time to kick off my Holiday Hiatus again. Those who have been around now that if I don’t have a girlfriend by the time Thanksgiving roles around and kicks off the Holiday Season, I shut down dating all the way until Valentine’s Day. I am NOT looking to add the complications of the Holiday routines to a new relationship. Too much hassle and awkwardness.

Stay tuned, and always, thanks for reading.

I never knew Labor Day was such an emotionally charged holiday 

Valentine’s Day. Obviously. Christmas and New Year’s. OK, I get it. I even understand birthdays and anniversaries, even though they aren’t really holidays. But when did Labor Day become some emotionally sentimental holiday?

I already told you about Staci’s (alleged) unintentional misdial that let to a small meaningless text conversation.

But then today, out of the blue, Olive texted me. I heard the telltale roar of Chewbacca (which, as you know, is assigned to any exes and past dates who might still be in my phone’s contacts) and quipped “That’s not good.” Not knowing exactly who it was, any signal from the Ex Line isn’t good.

It didn’t amount to more than 4-5 texts back and forth. She asked how my trip was (she’s still Facebook friends, so she saw I was out of town) and mentioned it was raining back home so they might not have the Labor Day parade she was going to. That was pretty much it. Nothing sentimental. Not a bunch of “How are you doing?” nonsense. That was it.

But still, the two most recent “relationships” managed to contact me both over the holiday weekend. Coincidence? Random universal luck? Stars aligning? Or is there some new Hallmark attachment to Labor Day weekend?

I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s not stirring up mixed emotions. I’m not tempted to reach out to them, or anything like that. So, if that was their sinister plan, it didn’t work.

Moving on to more current matters. Wanda and I spoke on the phone this morning. It’s the first time we’ve actually talked on the phone since I’ve been gone. We’ve texted quite a bit, but still not enough to keep my gut from having an uneasy feeling about things.

You should know by now my gut has a 99% success rate and it keeps reminding me over and over that I need to trust it more.

So, that coupled with my recent history of date cancellations, I verified things for Thursday were still on and I wanted to confirm where she was staying and what her timetable was going to be.

That’s when she informed me everything was on track … unless her son had to play on the JV football team Thursday. Then she wouldn’t be able to make it.  Therefore meaning it would be another week until I possibly saw her again.

So there it is, her escape hatch. I’ve got the babysitter locked on, but I’m not reserving our non-refundable date activity until I get a better confirmation about our plans. And if it’s sold out, then I’ll just find something else to do. Plus, she’s trimmed the window for the date down to 3 hours, no more than 4. Another short date.

But if she cancels again, that’s it. I’m not going to pursue it any further. Over the weekend, my sister-in-law gave me “He’s not that into you” to read. I finished it easily on Sunday afternoon. I didn’t find anything groundbreaking from it. And I definitely looked at it with the Sun Tzu approach. But it did reinforce many things I already knew – but handily forgot with Staci. And speaking of Staci, she’s the reason I am re-focusing on trusting my gut and reading the writing on the wall, istead of try to read between the lines.

And aside from spontaneously suggesting an earlier date last week, I’ve been putting all the effort into this so far. Scheduling two dates (that may never happen), calling her and texting her at an increasingly uncomfortably lopsided rate, and her initiating contact is almost nonexistent. I will concede one point, she does outnumber me in calls made, but very few of those are unsolicited.

Maybe she’s just not that talkative. Maybe she’s just that busy. And for those of you who’ve read the book – you know where I’m going with this … Maybe she’s just not that into me. I guess we’ll see (by) Thursday.

I hate being pessimistic. And you’re telling me to focus on someone. Well, I can focus on someone all I want, but I can’t make them focus on me. And maybe this is all for nothing and Thursday is glorious, and I’m just being an idiot.

Hope everyone had a good extended weekend. And as always, thanks for reading.

Uma: Very intriguing vice principal, again making exceptions to the rules

Before my (supposed) date with Violet this Saturday, I met up with Uma.

I originally had Uma scheduled for Saturday night, but a work engagement came up that she didn’t feel she could miss, so we met prior to (both) her function and my (scheduled) date with Violet at Chili’s for a quick drink and appetizers – it was centrally located to both of us.

Uma is a local high school vice principal. She’s in her mid-40s, slightly above average height (not tall), blonde with a very nice body. Even in her baseball-sleeve length t-shirt, shorts and her hair pulled back in a pony tail, she still looked very attractive.

Now before you go bashing her dress code for our “first date”, keep in mind she just came from a function at her school where she was supervising a bicycle safety event being given to young kids. So she was dressed appropriately for that. We had discussed the attire beforehand, and I had no issues with her attire. So, to make her feel better, I was in shorts, t-shirt and a ball cap – dressing down for the occasion. But I still looked pretty good, though.

What makes Uma interesting is that, once again – as with Staci, I’m bending my normal rules to see how this goes. Yes, I hear the collective groan and the cries of “didn’t you learn anything from the last time?” But in fairness to Uma, I can’t blame her for Staci’s issues. However, she is never married, has no kids, and didn’t have a picture on her profile. All three of those things are pretty much instant disqualifiers for me. So why is she different?

She contacted me on Match with a very long, detailed explanation of why she was interested in me and why she thought we should get together and see how it goes (you’ll see this theme again shortly). She acknowledged not being married and not having kids because she was focused on her teaching career for so many years that she didn’t find time for those things. Now, she wants something more substantial. And as far as the picture goes (or lack thereof), she acknowledged that too. Because she’s in the position she’s in, she doesn’t want the possibility of people recognizing her online and having that interfere with her work. She had many pictures, and was more than willing to share them once we started talking. And yes, she looked like her pictures.

Before our date, we chatted and talked several times during the week, but definitely not as frequently as most other women I meet on Match. She definitely seemed more old school and independent, not needing to be attached to her phone and texting all the time. It was kind of refreshing. And for as little as talked, she always still seemed very interested in getting together and meeting. Emphasizing that she was going to make sure we got together before I left for the weekend and it was another two weeks before we could possibly see each other.

She happened to beat me to the restaurant, which never happens. I’m always early. But not this time. I was still early, according to when we said we’d meet, but she was there first. She had ordered appetizers and some drinks. I sat down across from her and we just started chatting away. We were there for a little over an hour, and it seriously flew by. We had great conversation but didn’t really get into anything overly personal. It was good, not awkward at all. I really think we hit it off.

Then when it came time to leave, she tried to pay. I halted that immediately because, well, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. The guy always pays (at least for the like the first 100 dates or so). And I follow the code; opening doors, car doors, paying the check, not walking in front of her, walking between her and the street, stuff like that. Finally, I won the “battle” and she was very appreciative of the gesture, even commenting on it several times later.

I walked her to her car and we hugged as we talked about making plans for after I got back from my trip.

Things seem good. We’ve talked a couple of times since then. Everything still seems to be on track. But we’ll see. Based on recent history, I can’t count on anything (it seems) until it actually happens.

I’ll definitely keep you posted, and stay tuned later this week as something is brewing for Wednesday. And as always, thanks for reading!

Talia: Date was great but my son is only 8

By now, everyone should be familiar with my naming game for my dates. I name them alphabetically (so we’re up to “T” since I started this thing) with random, false names to easily keep track and anonymous. And yes, I do have a master list of coinciding real names, but it isn’t stored electronically anywhere in case some Chinese or Iranian hacker wants to try to blackmail me someday.

This update features Talia, a name inspired by the fact that I was watching the Rocky marathon on TV when we were really starting to get to know each other. For those wondering how that ties with Rocky, well, Adrian – Rocky’s wife – is played by Talia Shire. Ok? Moving on.

Talia is about as close to being the opposite of Staci (and many of the other girls I’ve dated recently) as you can get without actually be a dude. She’s a nurse, only 5’4″, dark hair that she has slightly tinted with a redish-purple, busty, very expressive and communicative, and light-hearted. She had been married twice before and has a 24-year-old son and a 15-year-old daughter.

She contacted me on Match and we began talking. We really hit it off quickly and spent the first few days sending countless emails and texts, along with numerous phone calls asking all sorts of questions and talking about everything imaginable. We had SO much in common it was scary. We answered just about every basic question the same, with the exception of her liking fish and me hating it, and her favorite color was Orange … and mine isn’t.

We set up a date for Thursday because she was heading out of town Friday to spend the weekend with an old friend of her’s in San Diego as part of birthday celebration. Thursday was Talia’s birthday. She was insistent that we go out Thursday (on her birthday) because her deceased twin (who passed away 2 years ago in an accident) would want her to spend her birthday doing something with someone that would make her happy [1].

Things continued to develop very well up until Thursday. Lots of talking, texting and selfies. This girl had way too many selfies of herself, and she’d send me a few every day. I mean dozens that she sent me. She was gorgeous – don’t get me wrong – but I mean a bit too many selfies of yourself if you ask me. [2]

But in the meantime, I was a bit stressed out. I was struggling to find a babysitter for my son and was on the verge of having to cancel when one of my son’s friends’ parents (who knew of my situation) invited him along to a pool party they were going to. Yay, saved! So the date was on. I didn’t share these issues with Talia, by the way.

We met for dinner and immediately upon meeting she gave me a very intimate hug. I’m all for going for an introductory hug, if the moment feels right, but this was a bit intimate and lingered. [3] Dinner conversation was great! We talked about her interest in getting married again – she definitely wanted to, but I’m just open to the idea, that’s not my goal here. We talked about past relationships, and somehow we even had things in common with our past relationships and ex’s, so we understood where the other was coming from.

After dinner, since it was her birthday, I asked if there was anything particular she wanted to do for her birthday. She didn’t have any preference. So I mentioned we should just go have drinks at this bar I like to go to that has a rooftop bar with nice cozy couches and always has sports on the TV. She’s a big baseball fan, almost as much as I am. She would text me game updates and ask questions even when I didn’t have the game on. She was on top of it more than I was. Not a bad sign.

She thought that sounded perfect, even though I threw some alternate ideas out. At the bar, on the rooftop, we found a perfect sofa lounger with a perfect view of the game. We talked about random things as well as the game. That’s when she started telling me about this guy that strung her along and messed with her, she thought they were dating but he only thought they were just friends (with benefits). [4] She even mentioned that at some point, she is pretty sure she freaked him out [7], but she wouldn’t tell me how she thinks she freaked him out. So, even though I asked this once previously, I made sure she wasn’t still hung up on this guy. You can guess I’m a bit gunshy on the whole “hung up on ex’s” thing after Staci. She insisted she wasn’t and that it wouldn’t be a problem with us. She even clutched my hand (and didn’t let go the rest of the night) and snuggled closer after I brought that up, as a way of trying to ease my concern.

Well, that was until she mentioned “the other guy.” [5]

Right about the time we set up the date, she hid her profile on Match. She mentioned it to me because she said she wanted to “focus on getting to know” me. So after our discussion, I did the same thing. I really liked her and wanted to see where things were going, and I didn’t have any other serious conversations going on at the time.

Things were going so well, I brought up seeing her again and when she was available. Being a nurse, her schedule is very odd and whacked out. The next Thursday was about the only time I could realistically have a chance of seeing her because she was working lots of weekends and I am going to my brother’s over Labor Day weekend. So I said Thursday would have to do, because I wasn’t going to wait three weeks in between dates.

That’s when she brought up “the other guy.” She said that the day she met me on Match, another guy showed interest in her too, and she has been talking to both of us and she had a date set up with him on Monday (after she got back from San Diego). Needless to say that changed the tone of the whole date for the rest of the night (about the next 30-60 minutes). She insisted that she really liked me and wanted to see me again, but she was going out with this guy because she made the plans with him before she made up her mind about me and didn’t want to be rude and cancel.

Things tapered a little after that, and then around 9pm I said I needed to wrap things up because I had to go pick my son up from the sitter because it was a school night. She knew about the timing from the beginning, so this wasn’t a cop-out or anything. As we walked out, she grabbed my hand and we held hands as I walked her to her car. At her car, we said goodnight and kissed. However this wasn’t your typical first-date goodnight kiss. As soon as I went in for the kiss, she was clearly ready for it and it ended up being a long, deep, passionate type of kiss that lasted a while, not your normal easy, gentle, non-tongued kiss.

After we went our own ways, she texted me numerous times the rest of the night, just like everything was cool. But it clearly wasn’t.

Starting the next day, things clearly started falling apart. I hardly heard from her Friday.[6] I texted a few times to see if she was on her way, etc. Her responses were short and non-engaging. She said she would let me know when she landed in San Diego. She never did. I texted her later that night just to say “I hope you’re having a good time.” I’m guessing some of you are wondering why I was being kind of clingy with her about it. Well, she mentioned early on that she likes to know that her guy is thinking about her and likes to hear from him every once in a while. So I was just trying to make sure I didn’t give the impression I wasn’t interested. But I definitely wasn’t overdoing it.

Saturday was more of the same. I hardly heard from here. And when I did, it was in response to my text and it wasn’t very engaging either. Short, quick responses, then nothing for several hours (meaning like 5-6 hours). I wasn’t sweating it, but I was noting it. I was totally intending to give her her space to enjoy her time with her friend, while also still trying to maintain a level of interest with her.

Sunday was a little better. She communicated a lot more on Sunday, and actually let me know when she got back home. However I did notice she never responded to my question about Thursday. Earlier in the day,I asked her about Thursday again because I needed to make sure I could secure a sitter for Thursday. But I got no answer. After she got home, we chatted for a little bit, and I told her that after she got settled in, and had time later, we should talk about her trip because I wanted to hear how it went. I’m very partial to San Diego after living there for more than 6 years, so I wanted to hear what she did and where they went.

That’s when I got the text message saying she didn’t think we were a match. She thought I was a great guy and everything, but she doesn’t want to date anyone with kids younger than her’s. That may sound a bit odd and selfish, but to her credit, she DID have that written in her Match profile, so it’s not like it was some out of the blue thing. However, remember, SHE contacted me first on Match, and my profile also clearly states that I have an 8-year-old son that lives with me full-time.

And that was that. Just like that, it was over. In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, if you go back and look at the highlighted numbers (i.e. [1] ) you’ll see some of the warning signs that I noticed immediately and let pass, or that caught my attention later.

Moving on.

And I’ve been getting some questions asking if I have heard anything from Staci yet. NO, I have not. It’s only been a week people. I told you, after a month, maybe two, she’ll realize what a bad idea getting back with this guy was. But the more I think about it, the more I think I won’t hear from her again, and the less I think I want to. So again, moving on!

I hope you all have a good week, and as always thanks for reading! Please share this site with your friends and readers on your own blog.

Tuesday (and Staci) are gone with the wind

I was right. I say that way too often, and it always seems to be regarding things I don’t want to be right about.

And if you don’t get the headline, you can catch up here.

She met with her ex-boyfriend for dinner tonight. I really didn’t expect to hear from hear tonight. But a little after 9pm she called me. I was rather surprised.

She was straight to the point – after a long awkward silence following the initial pleasantries – I give her a little credit for that. She came right out and said, after talking, they decided to try dating again.

She apologized profusely and said it wasn’t anything to do with me, there was nothing wrong with me. She just felt she needed to follow her heart. And when I pointed out that these things never work out, she admitted that she didn’t feel that way otherwise she wouldn’t have considered getting back together with him. All girls who consider getting back with their ex-boyfriends always think this guy is different, even though she would’ve told her friend to stay away from this guy.

And her friend Amy (from the other posts) – is also NOT supportive of this move, to dump me to go back with her ex. And she didn’t listen to her best friend either. Shocking.

Instead of getting upset and badgering her for (what I thought was) a horrible decision, I took the high road. I said I hope – for her sake – I’m not right this time and that things work out for her (even though I don’t see it lasting more than a month or two). I want her to be happy. I told her she deserves to be treated better than she was previously with this guy. And she said he had a lot to live up to because I set the bar pretty high. Then I asked her “then why go back with him if you’re admitting that I was better for (her)?”

She said (again) she needed to follow her heart, and it wasn’t fair to me that her heart wasn’t completely into it with me. She apologized and said she felt bad, I bluntly told her she should and emphasized that I wasn’t joking.

She commented on how well I was taking things. I said I had a week to prepare for this, so it wasn’t like some sucker-punch to the heart. Plus, what good comes from getting mad or angry? None. It doesn’t change anything and it doesn’t make anything any better.

I told her I hope she doesn’t reach a point where she regrets making the wrong decision and passing on Us. Because if she did end up changing her mind, I wasn’t waiting for her and was moving on with my life. I tried to maintain a level of civility, and was rather blunt numerous times pointing out where I think she was wrong in dealing with this like she did.

Again, she tried to tell me that she had no intention or preconception that they would get together after meeting tonight. I don’t buy that for a second, and reiterated to her that I saw this coming for a week now and had plenty of time to prepare myself for this. So even if she is honest about not having any intention of getting back together with him, I apparently know her better than she does because I saw it coming a week ago. Then again, with the way she was acting this past week, it is obvious to see that she was distancing herself from me for a reason. It wasn’t just a coincidence.

It was short and to the point. I finally asked her if there was anything else she needed to say, and she just repeated her apologies. So I ended the conversation by again wishing she finds happiness and that I would never want her to get hurt again, no matter how much I disagreed with it or how much it hurt me.

And that was it. I immediately set her ringtone to the Star Wars Imperial March and her text tone to the Chewbacca roar (as I do with all ex-girlfriends). And yes I keep ex-girlfriend numbers in my phone for a while, so I know exactly who’s calling me. I don’t memorize their phone numbers, so I don’t want to answer a regret-filled call on accident. After a while, like a year or so, I go through and purge my phone of numbers I haven’t used or talked to in a while.

So now onto bigger and better things. This chapter is over. Time to open a new one.

Thanks for following all of this madness, and as always thanks for reading.