My Take: Women show true colors with DadBod debate

I find this new “DadBod” (Dad Body) phenomenon intriguing. It is something that hits close to home and I finally started to feel good about myself because I don’t have the body I did when I was 25. I’m over 40 and my defined 20-something body has faded into a softer version of its former self and I have added 4 inches on my waist since I turned 21. In no way am I fat, or would I consider my self fat or out of shape, but I don’t look as good as I used to.

Then this “DadBod” thing came along.

I have been totally onboard for the media to portray the female body in a more realistic way, and not just the Victoria’s Secret supermodel type. And as an older guy, I totally feel the average woman’s pain when the media says the the male body should have large arms, a six-pack and the pelvic V-shape.

Then this “DadBod” thing came along.

Seeing several stories talking about the new focus on the softer male body, and not the muscle-head look, sparked a fire of hope that my assets would now be more in demand than they were last Summer. Ladies man Leonardo DiCaprio was the poster boy for the “DabBod” movement and I thought this “DadBod” thing could really gain traction.

Then I read the comments.

Wow! Talk about a kick in the nuts! Easily 90-99% of the women commenting were trashing the “DadBod”, saying the only reason guys like Leo and Jason Segal get hot girls is because they are rich, and reinforcing they want the meathead-body look.

So, real women – or at least those who post on social media – want the superficial male body, but condemn men for wanting the supermodels; believe the only way an attractive woman would go for a guy with a “DadBod” is because he has lots of money; and show exactly how shallow they really are. I’d like to think this was only a small sampling of the female population, but there were thousands and thousands of comments against it, and you know they say that for every comment on social media, approximately 1,000 other people share that opinion. So that would translate to millions of women sharing this opinion.

So, if you think the only reason an attractive woman would be interested in a man with a “DadBod” is because he’s rich and famous, then I no longer hold sympathy for you when you complain about guys comparing your average body to Victoria’s Secret models.

But then again, it amazes me how eager and willing women are to body shame each other, so them trying to body shame men is just the next step I guess.

Maybe I’m wrong and reading too much into these comments generated by stories about the “popularity of the DadBod.”

Well, I need to stop writing and get back to doing more pushups, crunches, planks and burpees.

As always, thanks for reading!

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Huge sports night and I miss it to be with Mona

I don’t miss big sporting events for just anything or anyone!

Every woman in my life knows there are certain games and events  that take precedent over everything (except child-birth, weddings, anniversaries and birthdays). I am not going shopping, out to dinner, to a friend’s house or anywhere else.

Saturday night, Alabama was playing Johnny Manziel (that little punk) and Texas A&M, my favorite team was in a crucial baseball series with playoff implications on the line, my alma mater was having its biggest rivalry game of the year, and Floyd Mayweather was fighting on pay-per-view. Normally, I’d be at a Buffalo Wild Wings trying to watch all of them at once.

However, this was the only night this weekend I was going to be able to see Mona again. So a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. If I miss these sporting events, nothing will really change. But if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity with Mona, that could be it, and I’d possible lose out on seeing her ever again.

I’ve had too much fun talking to her, and had such a great time hanging out with her the other day, I wasn’t about to risk something with that much potential.

During our conversations, it came up that she loves horror movies and no one will go with her to see them. So we talked about go to see the new horror movie, Insidious 2, and then we thought about going to the drive in where they were showing Insidious 2 and The Conjuring. I’m not much a horror movie fan, I think most of them are kind of dumb and very predictable. But I wanted to see The Conjuring and never had the chance to go see it. When she heard that, she was all about going to see The Conjuring. Well, since we decided against the drive-in because neither of us would be able to get our kids from the babysitters until after  1 a.m., I found a local theater that was still playing The Conjuring (even though it comes out on DVD in a few weeks).

I was real playful about it. I told her that if we went to see it, she had better be ready for me to latch on to her or jump into her lap when I get scared. She was playful about it in return. A pretty good sign.

We went out to eat and then to the movie. It was the oldest theater I have been in in more than 10 years. No stadium seating. The screen was small. We sat in the 3rd row just to get close enough to see it. I mean, it would have probably looked better on my TV at home. She (forcibly) bought the snacks at the theater. She knew it goes against my principles to let her pay for anything, without at least clearly stating it ahead of time.

Yes, during the early phase of dating, I won’t let a woman pay for anything on a date, unless it has been discussed before the date. I won’t let her get the check, pay for movie tickets, or anything else once we’re on a date. Now, if she wants to pay, then just say something before we go out, like “hey, I’ve got dinner tonight” or “The movie is on me this time.” Stuff like that.

During the movie, we got very close, without me actually putting my arm around her or holding hands.  She leaned into me quite a few times and then eventually just stayed that close to me.

After the movie we headed back to the restaurant where we ate, which was near the theater, because she left her car there and rode with me to the theater.  Back at the restaurant, we decided to go back in for a few drinks and talk for a while before we each had to get our kids.

She is so easy and fun to talk to. We talked about everything from our bad online dating experiences to catching up on the sports scores from the day. If I didn’t mention it before, she is a big baseball and football fan but loves all sports. So lots of our regular conversations have to do with sports, which is so cool.

On a side note, one thing we talked about was her perfume. She always smells so amazing, it’s almost distracting. In case you were wondering, she said it was Victoria’s Secret Bombshell.

When it was time to leave, we lingered in the parking lot for a while longer talking. We hugged once goodbye, and then talked some more. I am not talking a friendly hug you give to someone after an average date. I’m talking a deep hug like something you exchange after a passionate kiss (minus the actually kiss).

We started talking about when we would see each other again. She has her kids this weekend and I will be out of town. She mentioned that eventually, likely after another date or two, we might start doing things with the kids sometimes. We kicked around a few ideas, and then I said, a minimum I will go visit her for lunch sometime this week before I go out of town. Basically, we tried to figure out how to see each other this week, and next weekend we would be able to plan something because my ex will be in town visiting my son, giving me free time to spend more time with her. We hugged again (just like the first), but managed to talk for a little while longer.

This time she brought up how much she appreciated how respectful I was. She mentioned how she has only been with three lovers before and wants to take things slow. She was very put off by a guy who tried to aggressively kiss her on their first date, which she had told me previously, so I knew to kind of take it slow with her. And she said she wants to make sure the person she is with wants to be with her for her, not for the sex or whatever.

I told her that I was good with that because I saw a lot of potential with her and I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to make things work. She was very appreciative of that, and we hugged one last time. But this time seemed even more meaningful and longer than the others. It was real nice, though I do admit I really wanted to kiss her. But she said that would come – sooner than later, she promised.

We finally both departed to get our kids. Once we got home, we still chatted for a while before going to bed. Today was a great day of chatting all day through all of the football games and our team’s baseball game today. She was hanging out at her parent’s house all day with her family and kids, so it was nice to know she was making that much time for me.

Something I never discussed her was our Match online profiles because I didn’t know exactly what she thought about where we were, since it was still a little early to expect that conversation. But I had received an exceptional number of notifications from Match this weekend, so I logged onto Match to clear them out, plus a few other reasons. That’s when I noticed she had hidden or removed her profile. Normally, when someone hides their profile, it still shows up in certain areas. But her profile no longer shows up anywhere that I can find. Since I seriously doubt she blocked me, it looks like she may have completely removed her profile. I’m not exactly sure what to make of it, but it seems like a pretty good sign. But I have been wrong before.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading!